Big Brother 15 Opening Episode Thoughts

I love Big Brother, I don't watch that many TV shows, let alone reality TV shows, but I can't miss an episode of Big Brother.  The debut of Big Brother marks the start of summer for me.  Sure we had Big Brother Canada, and don't get me wrong that was decent, but nothing compares to the real thing.  This season is a little different, for the 3 or 4 of you that read my Big Brother Canada updates you know that I really hate unnecessary twists, but I like the twist they've thrown in this year.  As you all know the HOH will nominate two guests as usual, but America (not Canadians, thanks a lot assholes) votes on a weekly MVP and they get to nominate someone.  The rest of the house doesn't know who the MVP is, or who the nomination is until my beloved Julie Chen lets them know, and the MVP can remain anonymous if they so choose.  I still have a few questions, what happens if the MVP ends up being the nomination? Can we trust these retarded Americans to elect a good MVP? Remember these are the people who elected George W. Bush President....twice.  As per usual most of the first episode dealt with introductions blah blah blah, so I will give some of my first impressions of some of the houseguests.

I must say this season has the best looking cast of women in many years.  All of the girls are easy on the eyes, and unlike Big Brother Canada who films in fucking Mississauga in February and March this is filmed in L.A. in the summer which gives us plenty of time to ogle at them laying around the pool in their bikinis...not that I would ever do such thing, I'm a gentleman.  Kaitlin pictured above is my favourite so far, I might try to hit her up on Twitter after the show.  Despite the unfortunate spelling of the name 'Erin', Aaryn is also very hot. GinaMarie is pretty good looking too, but christ all mighty is she ever annoying.  Speaking of annoying...

Jesus Christ it's Rachels sister.  It's bad e-fucking-nough that we had to deal with that wretched beast for two seasons now we have to deal with her sister.  Thankfully she didn't have much of a role in last nights episode and did nothing to annoy me, but I doubt that is going to last long.  Doesn't she kind of remind you of that woman who got all the plastic surgery to look like a cat?  I hope she is gone soon, I think the rest of the house will pick up quickly on the fact that she is Rachels sister and she will be gone very quickly, possibly as soon as next week.

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Originally I thought David was a cross between Beavis and Rocky Dennis, but it's more like Jeff Spicoli and Rocky Dennis.  Either way David is a plug, the guy is dumber than a bag of hammers. Maybe his laid back stoner attitude will win me over, but fuck man get a new hair doo you look ridiculous, and no just because I am bald doesn't mean I have some sort of hair envy, I'm too fucking lazy to shave or brush my teeth in the morning most of the time, I can't imagine having to make my hair look pretty.

Hey look, it's McCrae playing the double bass! Seriously though, he looks a little like Geddy Lee, minus the massive schnozz.  I think it was a bit silly of him to hold on for the HOH, people already think he is some sort of genius lying about being a stoner Pizza delivery guy, when in fact he really is a stoner pizza guy.  That being said I am kind of leaning towards him being my early pick to win it all, but I certainly haven't made up my mind yet.


As for the rest of the house, not a whole fuck of a lot stood out at me from the rest of the house guests.  I think a lot of them are playing too hard too fast, forming alliances and such within the first hour or two.  Jeremy aka Tatanka is already in 2 for christs sake.  I doubt any of these alliances will last....they certainly are no Brigade.  I'll do a quick thought on each of the house guests that I haven't mentioned yet.

Amanda - Big rack, in one of her pre-show interviews she says she has been know to have "verbal diarrhea" so that should make things interesting.

Andy - Google Image search Howdy Doody and you've got Andy, as the token gay I am glad he is not as flamboyant and in your face about it as Gary Glitter from BB Canada or Lawonderful in the past.

Candice - Meh, hasn't said or done anything interesting yet.

Helen - Ceiling eyes

Howard - too Jesusy, I hope he goes far though, black dudes never last long.

Jessie - She's pretty cute, but conceited as fuck

Judd - Hillbilly, reminds me of Joe from BB14

Nick - Cocky, I can see him lasting long in the game though

Spencer - Beard, thank God he kept his shirt on in the team swim suit picture

Well that's it for my first of my weekly Big Brother posts, I'll most likely be posting them every Wednesday after the live eviction.  I read spoilers, I will try not to post too many of them, but if I do I'll give you ample warning.  For a good recap of what is going on in the live feeds go to Joker's Updates if you want to see some pervy shots of the house guests,  (it's equal opportunity perviness too ladies) and daily recaps/spoilers check out I Hate Big Brother @EvelDick and @ZingBot_3000 are two of many good follows on Twitter, but they post spoilers too so be forewarned!  While you're at it follow me on Twitter too! @didhenley

REVIEW: St. Hubert

My first food review as a Kingstonian is St. Hubert's Chicken.  I know I know I should've done something a little better, but as a Swiss Chalet aficionado I was curious to see what the stinking French have been going on about all this time.  From what I gather, St. Hubert is the Quebec version of the Elvis Chalet (named that by my uncles because legend has it whenever Elvis Presley was in Canada he'd crush 3 or 4 full chicken dinners in one sitting).  St. Hubert has a few locations sprinkled around eastern Ontario and the Maritimes, but the vast majority of their restaurants are in fucking Quebec.  I've met people from Quebec who swore up and down that St. Hubert was waaaay better than my beloved Elvis Chalet.  I tend to take whatever a Frenchman tells me with a grain of salt, mainly because they've been so dead wrong about almost everything, especially their choice of shitty hockey team.  So I decided to get some delivered, and see how it compares to Swiss Chalet.

The meal comes to you in this lovely cardboard box, while Swiss Chalet comes in this plastic thing.  If you're one of those holier-than-thou environment people I am sure you think that's just swell.  The problem was those ribbons around it were impossible to cut.  I broke my scissors when I sat on them one day back in London before I moved, and I have never bothered getting another pair, and all my kitchen knives are as dull as fuck, so it took me a few hacks to get at er.

So here we go, I ordered my go-to Swiss Chalet order, the Double Leg dinner.  The first thing I noticed was the two things of gravy, apparently that's standard, you don't have to pay extra for a second.

BUN:  Swiss Chalet's bun is way better, this is just a toasted Wonder Bread brand hamburger bun they give you, not to say the St. Hubert bun tastes like shit or anything, you can't really fuck up bread, but I definitely prefer the Swiss Chalet bun.

FRIES:  First I should say that you can't judge fries that have been delivered, it is absolutely impossible to make delivered fries as crispy and hot and delicious as fries you get in the restaurant.  That being said Swiss Chalet wins the fry category,  St. Hubert fries were nothing special, they were like what you'd get in any cafeteria. Swiss Chalet puts a bit of effort into them, and they are still OK when you get them delivered. I am sure these fries would have been way better in the restaurant, so I don't think it's fair to judge.

COLESLAW: I got a small thing of shitty coleslaw that I'm never gonna eat in my fridge, does anyone want it?

CHICKEN:  The chicken was delicious, they gave me two decent sized pieces, and it was moist and the skin was nice and crispy.  It's hard to tell if I like St. Hubert chicken better than the chicken at Swiss Chalet.  Based on memory, I think the Swiss Chalet was a bit more seasoned than St. Hubert, but what the fuck do I know.  Maybe an actual side by side taste test is in the cards, but that would be kind of going all out for this stupid blog.

GRAVY:  Hands down Elvis Chalet wins this category.  The gravy at Swiss Chalet is the nectar of the Gods, I think they should set up fountains of Swiss Chalet gravy around town instead of useless water.  All that being said St. Hubert gravy was still pretty god damned good, it went really well with the chicken, and it saved the fries.  

Overall, the edge has to go to Swiss Chalet, I don't know if it's because I've eaten there my entire life and have been there dozens of times, and I've only eaten at St. Hubert once, I guess I am set in my chicken ways.  I will definitely order it again, mainly for one thing though - free delivery, plus they take debit on delivery.  Swiss Chalet is stuck in the stone age only accepting cash and charging a ridiculous surcharge for delivery.  It's pretty dumb that there is a Swiss Chalet down the street from me and they'll charge $3 to deliver but the St. Hubert is on the other side of town and they don't charge shit.

I'm not sure what the next place I will review will be, if anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears.  Leave a suggestion in the comments or hit me up on twitter @didhenley.  Big Brother 15 starts next week, and I'll be posting weekly reviews starting after the first episode!  Rumour has it Rachel's sister is gonna be a houseguest this year, uggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh, hopefully she is not as fucking annoying as Rachel is. 

The Clusterfuck that is the 2013 Jays

Wow I've really neglected this blog lately.  I apologize to my dozen or so fans, but the last month or so I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.  I'll try to get back to updating this a little more consistently, as there is plenty of new food places for me to review, and the new season of Big Brother starts in a couple of weeks (speaking of Big Brother, I kind of missed posting about the last few episodes, I'll give my thoughts on how it ended in my first Big Brother USA post).

Anyways, on to todays topic...the clusterfuck that is the 2013 Toronto Blue Jays.  I've supported a lot of shitty teams over the years, but they were teams that were meant to be shitty.  The 2013 Blue Jays have to be the most disappointed I have ever been with any team I have ever supported.  Sure the Leafs had that Game 7 meltdown against the Bruins (PS that still stings) but nobody expected the Leafs to take the Bruins to 7 games, especially after they were down 3-1 in the series.  The 2013 Blue Jays were supposed to be different, they spent a lot of money, traded away a lot of prospects to go "all-in", they were picked to be World Series contenders by a lot pundits, but here we sit on June 2nd and they are a whopping 10 games under .500, in dead last in the AL East with a ragtag rotation and line-up due to more fucking injuries.  Barring a massive win streak and a miracle they look to be spending their 20th straight season out of the playoffs.

Brandon Morrow spazzing out on sunflower seeds basically sums up my feelings on the season so far.  It's been impossible for them to string a win streak together, I think a 3 game win streak has been their highest so far.  When they get pitching they can't hit, when they get hitting they can't pitch.  When they get both pitching and hitting someone will make an astronomically stupid fielding error, which inevitably lead to runs.  Pitching was supposed to be the strength of the 2013 Jays, but thus far they've been injury-riddled and shitty.  RA Dickey has had a couple of good starts but for the most part has been mediocre.  Mark Buerhle had a shitty April but has been coming around, he also tends to be the victim of having shitty run support.  Morrow and Josh Johnson have been hurt, but when healthy haven't exactly been lighting the world on fire.  I think JA Happ has been their best starter, but the guy fucks up his knee falling off the mound after getting hit in the face with a line drive.  How fucking unlucky is that? I think JA Happ's injury perfectly sums up the Jays season. 

Offensively I think there has been some good signs.  Edwin Encarnacion has been great all year offensively, and after a traditional slow April, Jose Bautista has come around and is playing like Bautista can.  The biggest surprise all season offensively has to be Adam Lind, my friend Corey Sperling's boy Lind.  Everyone had given up on Lind, and really he had the numbers, especially against left-handed pitchers to warrant it.  But not SPEPLING, he stuck with his boi 2-6, and is reaping the rewards, Lind has honestly been their best hitter lately, and has been one of the few bright spots on the team thus far.  Jose Reyes being injured has SUCKED, in the 10 or so games that Reyes was healthy, he was hitting over .400 and was quickly becoming one of my favourite players, he should be back within the next month, and I think that will help them immensely.  Brett Lawrie on the other hand really needs to get his shit together, both on the field and mentally.  The Jays PR team has been blowing smoke up his ass since he got on the team, basically because of his Canadian passport, he really needs to grow up though.  He needs to stop bitching at the umpires (stop throwing equipment at them is a good start), the whole incident where he got mad at Lind and the 3rd base coach for not running on his sacrifice fly was embarrassing.  Not only that he is barely hitting above the Mendoza line, and surprise, surprise, he's injured too!  For the Jays to do anything, Lawrie needs to be better.

I tend to agree with Ricky here, and I am optimistic on the way the rest of the season will play out.  As bad as the Jays have been so far, it can't possibly get any worse.  They've dug a deep hole for themselves, but there is still plenty of time left in the season for them to turn it around into something respectable.  They were horrible in April, but believe it or not did get better in May, now they just need to be solid the rest of the way.  All they need is a big win streak, 7 or 8 game win streaks aren't out of the question at all in MLB, the Jays just need a 15 game win streak to dig them out of the hole they're in.   The bullpen has been solid, Casey Janssen and Brett Cecil have been lights out.  The bats are finally starting to come around,  along with Encarnacion, Bautista and Lind, Melky Cabrera had a great May.  If the pitching gets healthy and performs the way they are supposed to, they could easily be back in the thick of things come September, and a strong finish will help the 2014 team (I'm already looking towards 2014, for fucks sakes).  Every time they get a big walk off victory and I think things are starting to turn around, they go ahead and shit the bed the next game.  Despite how the rest of the season turns out we'll always have this to remember....

 My name is Munenori Kawaski, I am from Japan, and I am Japaneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese!!!!