Autopsy of the 2013 Blue Jays

It wasn't supposed to be like this you guys.  This year was supposed to be different, different from the last 20 years of misery we've suffered as Jays fans.  Sure in that span we had 9 winning seasons, and sometimes had some decent ball clubs, but playing in the tough AL East against the juggernaut Yankees and Red Sox, and lately those pesky god damned Rays and Orioles, the Jays never got within a sniff of the playoffs.  The last time the Jays saw post season action was when Joe Carter touched 'em all in '93.  I swore that 2012 was the worst season they could have ever had, with the injuries and underachievement and the fact that their fucking manager quit on them for greener pastures.  After such a shitty year last year, GM Alex Anthoupolous went "all-in" selling the farm to pick up some quality all-star players in Jose Reyes, Josh Johnson, Mark Buerhle, Melky Cabrera and of course the reigning NL Cy Young winner R.A. Dickey.  I was doing fucking backflips last November when those trades happened, you couldn't wipe the smile off my face.  The Blue Jays were trumpeted as World Series contenders instantly by many respected baseball pundits.  Hype was sky-high... then they actually started to play games, and holy fuck did they ever suck.

That Opening Day game really just summed up the whole bloody season immediately.  Dickey giving up untimely home runs, JP Arencibia being absolutely horrific behind the plate - didn't he give up 3 passed balls? - zero offensive production, led to an 4-1 loss to the Cleveland Indians.  I remember feeling completely deflated after that game, and sadly that same feeling carried throughout the course of the season.  Then John Farrell and the Red Sox came in, that was the series we were supposed to show him what an idiot he was for ditching the team, but the Jays lost 2 of 3, including Dickey getting lit up in a 13-0 loss.  That's what chaps my ass the most about this season, John Farrell and the Red Sox winning the East after cruising all season.  I hope they fall flat on their face in the playoffs.  I kept trying to convince myself that it was an early season funk and that they would snap out of it and start kicking ass and taking names.  My favorite Blue Jays blogger Andrew Stoeten of Drunk Jays Fans had to write countless blogs and tweet at countless amounts of idiots to calm down and assure them that this is going to turn around, and I was on his side and believed that it was going to get better but aside from that miraculous 11-game win streak in June, it never did!

The starting pitching was absolutely horrendous, Josh Johnson quite possibly had the worst season I have ever seen a starting pitcher have.  Granted, he was injured but the games that he was healthy he was god awful.  The guy was pitching for a contract too! In every sport players are usually lights out during their contract season.  He had potential to get himself a massive $150+ Million dollar contract during free agency this off season, now he should be lucky to get the Jays qualifying offer.  R.A. Dickey certainly did not come as advertised.  The thing with Dickey this season is he had such shitty luck.  He had very good stretches in ballgames, and at times looked every bit the NL Cy Young Winner of 2012 but it seemed as though every ground ball hit against him found a god damned hole in the infield, and he gave up soooo many home runs, it doesn't help that the SkyDome is one of the best hitters ball parks in the league.  He says his knuckleball is better when the roof is closed, and he had some back issues this season, so hopefully next season they keep the roof closed for his starts, and he is over his back issues.  Once again Brandon Morrow was injured, he is the one that I had the most hope for, but even in the games he was healthy he did not look good.  It is crucial for him to come back and pitch to his potential, the Blue Jays need him.  Despite a slow start Mark Buerhle came as advertised, and in the dog days of summer he was by far the Jays best pitcher.  Then there was the horse shit pitchers they trotted out start after start in that 5th spot.   JA Happ won that job out of Spring Training and was doing a decent job.... until he was nailed in the face with a line drive and fucked up his knee collapsing off the mound.  They rolled out a succession of absolute shit starters who either weren't ready for the bigs or way past their prime.  Sean Nolin, Ricky Romero, Aaron Laffey, Chien Mien Wang, Ramon Ortiz all got starts for the Blue Jays and were horrific. Todd Redmond and Esmil Rogers have been rotation fixtures the last few months because of injuries, and have done decently, but I think will be better suited for long relief in the bullpen in 2014.

For the most part, offensively players came as advertised.  Bautista was Bautista until he got hurt at the end of the season, Edwin Encarnacion had a very, very good year, Colby Rasmus had a break out year, and once Brett Lawrie and Jose Reyes got over their respective injuries, they turned into the players we all hoped they would be.  The issue lies with the gaping holes they have in offensive production from their Left Field, Second Base and Catching positions.  I'm not one of those sabermatrician stat geeks and quite honestly I am too dumb at math to wrap my head around these fucking formulas these nerds have produced to measure baseball stats, but I trust them.  They say if the Jays had at least replacement level talent (look up the WAR stat) they would be in a way better position than they are now, they wouldn't be running away with the East, but they would have been in wild card contention like the fucking Cleveland Indians and Kansas City Royals have been.  The worst offender has been JP Arencibia, seen above as Macho Man Randy Savage because... why not?  It's been determined that he has had one of the worst seasons in the entire history of major league baseball.  This isn't just me spewing unsubstantiated bullshit like I usually do, it is actual fact.  Take a look at this article by Drew Fairservice of Getting Blanked on how historically awful JP Arencibia has been.  There is no way he should be back as the starter next season, he seems like a nice guy, and I do feel bad for him, but they have to cut him loose.  I guarantee he will end up on the Rays or Yankees and whenever he plays the Jays he will come back and hit dingers and play great just like every other ex-Blue Jay does.

Melky Cabrera and the rest of the bums they trotted out to play left field were also a black eye on this team.  It turns out Melky had a fucking tumor on his spine, which may explain why some games he went out there and chased down fly balls and ran the bases like he was a 68 year old man.  At second base Maicer Izturis and Emilio Bonfiacio sucked quite a bit at the start of the season, committing atrociously ugly errors in the field and sucking at the plate.  Izturis picked it up a bit before he was injured, and Bonifacio was thankfully dumped to Kansas City...of course then he started playing good.  If they got better production out of those positions that would have accounted for at least 10-15 more wins which would have let them playing meaningful games in September....that's all I can ask for, I am sick of September Blue Jays games that don't matter, watching other teams compete for a playoff spot, and then playing high intensity playoff games.  That's all I am asking for Blue Jays, I am not asking for a World Series ring, just play games in September that matter, and then let's get some October baseball back.  That being said, I think 2014 will be better.

If you have ever heard me talk about sports, you know I am always preaching about next year.  Next year is the year for the Leafs, or the Bills or the Raptors or the Blue Jays... when you support these shitty and perpetually mediocre teams next year is all you have.  That being said I think the Blue Jays, with their current core and some key additions will be the team we all expected them to be in 2014.  If they plugged the gaps in the positions I just mentioned they will improve vastly.  Brian McCann and AJ Pierzynski are catchers that are available, and while I am not a huge fan of either of them, I am sure seeing them in a Jays uniform will change my mind completely.  I am willing to let them give Cabrera another shot (really what other choice do they have?) and let them see if this fucking spine tumor is what caused him so much grief this year.  As for 2nd base, I don't know, as much as I love Kawasaki (like everyone else on Earth) I don't think he is the answer at 2nd and is better suited for a bench role.  Ryan Goins has been good recently, but I don't think he is the answer either.  Isturuz did have a good stretch before he got hurt, and I think he got used to the SkyDome carpet and was playing better defensively, so he could have a shot.  If AA can swing a deal or sign a better 2nd baseman I say go for it.  Robinson Cano is available as a free agent but rumour has it he is seeking a 10 year $305 million dollar contract....no thank you!!

Aside from that the Jays are solid offensively.  My favourite player right now has to be Colby Rasmus.  He is such a fucking hick, and I think it's hilarious.  DJF put up a video in the summer of the Jays talking about their walk up-music, and Colby was such a Jethro talking about being in the south and with bucks on the wall "spittin a lil' tabbaca."   He is a hell of a ball player, and he is getting better, St. Louis gave up on him way too soon. Jose Reyes is such a good ball player too, if he stays healthy in 2014 he will have a very good year.  Bautista and Encarnacion have shown no signs of slowing down, in fact Encarnacion has had one of the best offensive seasons in all of baseball this year, and there is no reason to believe that will stop for both those players next year.

Brett Lawrie has been a stud at third base.  His web gem plays have been pretty much the only reason to watch this team down the stretch.  His balls to the wall type play may actually be a bit of a downfall for him, it's baseball for christ's sake you can relax a little bit.  I think now that he is getting older he will realize this, and I think he is a career Blue Jay who will put up consistently good seasons for years to come... if he can stay healthy. .

As for the rotation, R.A. Dickey and Mark Buerhle (barring a trade) are pretty much the only 2 guaranteed starters, and I am fine with that.  Buerhle had some stinkers, but he had some gems, same goes for Dickey.  I think they should offer Josh Johnson the 1 year qualifying offer and let him prove that he is worthy of being a top pitcher in MLB like has the potential to be.  I think he is due for a turnaround season.  Drew Hutchison and Kyle Drabek could be competing for a spot, and hopefully Morrow is healthy enough and performs to his potential.  Don't forget AA is always capable of pulling off a big deal for another solid starter that will come completely out of the blue.  The bullpen has been amazing all year, and that is a strong point heading into 2014.  Brett Cecil, Sergio Santos, Steve Delabar, Casey Janssen have all had great seasons, add a Esmil Rogers or Todd Redmond into the mix, and that is a solid pen.

It's gonna get better Jays fans, firing John Gibbons or a complete roster overhaul is not going to make things better, staying put with what we have, with a tinker or two will do just fine.  Look no further than the dreaded Boston Red Sox, they were talented team that with a mix of injuries and bad luck ended up having an awful season in 2012.  They went from worst to first this year with pretty much the same roster they had last year + a few key additions.  If the Blue Jays can make those keys additions, and get continued production and some bounce back seasons from their core,  I have no reason to believe that the Blue Jays will finally be back in the post-season next season.  For my own sanity I hope I am right.

Credit Scott Johnson, Andrew Stoeten, Getting Blanked and Drunk Jays Fans for the photos in this.

As always give me a follow on Twitter @didhenley

Big Brother 15 Final Thoughts

This shitty season is finally done!  Seriously what a horrible cast, looking back the only people I liked this season was Judd and Howard, everyone else be damned.  Ol' Howdy Doody Andy ended up winning, and I think he deserved it.  He has got a lot of hate on twitter for his game play,  and I don't get it.  I honestly think he played a perfect game, and he is $500K richer for it.  People said that "he didn't play the game and was a floater."  Bullshit.  He played an amazing social game, earning the trust of everyone in the house, and then he turned on them when he needed too.  He also did win 2 vetoes, and 3 HOH's including the all important final one, he won those competitions when it counted, and at no point this season was he ever perceived as a threat or a target.  He really convinced me that he deserved to win when he was getting grilled by the jury, and he was explaining his game to them. Speaking of getting grilled by the jury, what the hell was that verbal diarrhea that was spewing out of VaGinaMarie's mouth.  It was a complete trainwreck, I initially I thought that Andy was stupid for taking her to the Final 2 because I thought she had a decent chance of winning, I even tweeted that and texted the same thing to some friends who were watching.  I think her fumbling through her answers saying "I'm just GinaMarie" and bringing up Nick every 10 seconds cost her in the end with any jury members that may have been on the fence.  Andy is obviously very well spoken and absolutely crushed her in that Q&A.  Even though I did kind of warm up to her the last couple of weeks, here is a reminder why she doesn't have a job to go back home to...Yikes.

Yeah, that's ultimately the legacy of Big Brother 15, it making national headlines because of racist and generally horrible houseguests.  People are blaming casting for getting these contestants, but how were they supposed to know?  I don't think they asked them if they were prone to racial outbursts during the audition process.  As much as I didn't like this cast, people are taking it way to far, once again diehard Big Brother fans are harassing families of players and are calling up their employers insisting they be fired.....uh if haven't been already.  There is absolutely no excuse for that behavior, yeah they are contestants on a reality show, but they are still real people and have to go about their daily lives, people take things way too far and need to get a life.  Granted I talk shit about the houseguests, but that's only on this dumb blog, that I'm lucky to get 100 page views per post on.  I read that Shelly from Big Brother 13 got threats up to a year after Big Brother ended, and she had to get the FBI involved.  People who do that need to be committed to the looney bin.

I am pretty disappointed but not surprised that Elissa won $25K as America's player, as much as I don't get the hate for Andy, I don't get the Elissa love either.  On the website Joker's Updates they had a running poll all year of who your favourite houseguest was and fucking Elissa was always at the top.  I thought she played an awful game, and she is rich too, she does not need the $25K, Judd and Howard who were in the running for that money deserved it way more than her, and they probably need the money!  Spare me the fake shock too Elissa, and of course fucking Helen was in the middle of it all with her ridiculous over-enthusiasm. 

In other news, Amanda is still completely psychotic. I read this morning that Jessie said in an interview that Amanda and Elissa had it out (again) in the Jury House. They should have filmed the Jury House the last couple of weeks, it would have been a lot more interesting than the actual house!  I think living in the Big Brother house would make anyone go crazy, but Amanda is this nuts in real life.  Good luck with that McCrae.

Well that about wraps up my Big Brother posts for this year, I hope you had as much fun reading them as I did writing them.  If nothing else this gave me an excuse to keep the ol' blog active.  I'll have to go do some more food reviews or something soon.  I think I'll do an NHL season preview before the season starts, maybe a MLB Playoff preview, I'll think of something else. Big Brother Canada starts up in February so we have that to look forward too, my friend Willie is going to apply, and if you know Willie you know there is pretty much a 100% chance that he will make it on the show.  I thought of applying but I don't know... I doubt I'd ever get cast, I am really not that exciting hahaha.  In the meantime you can give me a follow on Twitter @didhenley I usually post a lot on there...but it's mainly re-tweeting The Iron Sheik.

Big Brother 15 Week 11 Thoughts

Jesus Christ is this season over yet?? Once again I apologize for the tardiness of this blog, yesterday my friend Jonny invited me over for poker, and at first I declined because of course I had Big Brother on, but then I thought who gives a shit, this final 4 is brutal.  Really the only thing I missed was not being able to watch the snarky comments roll in on Twitter, that's really the best way to watch things like Big Brother or the Oscars or whatever, peoples jokes on Twitter are usually 100 times better than what you're watching.  Anyways... I just finished watching it, and to absolute no one's surprise McCrae aka McPizza aka Tuglord was shown the door.  I always thought he looked like Canadian rock legend Geddy Lee of Rush as seen in the picture above.  McCrae doesn't have the massive beak Geddy does, but at least Geddy showers unlike McCrae who might as well have stink lines wafting around him constantly.  McCrae was hampered all season by that lunatic Amanda, I guarantee he realizes that now, he even said as much in his interview with Julie Chen, he had a few days alone in the house to reflect, and I guarantee he is kicking himself.  Those two are definitely not going to last long outside of the house, Amanda is far too crazy, as evidenced in the jury house tonight.  I can't believe how absolutely delusional she is, McCrae played a shitty game and it was because of her, but she thinks he has played the best game ever....and she was still shocked that she got booed by the audience when she was evicted of course she got booed! She is going to get booed by random people while she walks down the street for the rest of her life because she sucks so much.

My cousin sent me that pic she found on Twitter of the final 5.  I would have to say it is quite spot on, I suppose McCrae does look like Darlene from Roseanne just as much as he does Geddy Lee, and Judd is definitely Boomhauer.  Anyways everyone on Twitter is complaining about people who are left, and I agree with them that they are boring and they are all floaters, but fuck they are the ones who got this far in the game, if floating give you a solid chance at $500K why wouldn't you be a floater?  As much as I don't like Andy aka WAHndy, he is the one that deserves to win, you could make an argument for VaGinaMarie, but WAHndy, as irritating as he is should win. A bitter jury could prevent him from winning but I think the jury will respect what he did to get there, granted he lied and back stabbed people, but that is the god damn point to the game! Honestly if I ever go on Big Brother that would be my strategy I would lay back at first, earn the trust of everyone, maybe tell a fib or two along the way to get people evicted, then start winning shit at the end when it counts.  Andy is a fucking dork and pretty annoying but he is will be $500K richer than any other houseguest this season.  That being said if he goes to Final 2 with VaGinaMarie I think she has a solid chance of beating Andy she has outlasted and has been responsible for taking down some of the big players in this game, and everyone in the jury likes her.  If Spencer somehow falls ass-backwards into final 2 he will lose in a landslide to either Andy or GM.

So GM won the first part of the HOH competition, it was some kind of physical competition which should come as no surprise that she beat Andy and Spencer.  In years past the second part is a puzzle which plays into Andy's favour, and then the third part is the one where jury members come and ask questions, I think Andy has a better chance than GM to win, so I think he will win HOH, evict GM and take Spencer to the final 2, he'd be fucking stupid not too.  I really don't want any of these dorks to win, but one of them has to and out of all of them Andy does deserve it.  We'll see what happens, Sundays episode is a lame clip episode that's gonna show Amanda and McCrae's wedding PUKE!  It is also gonna show this fight, you should watch it uncensored here now below.  Careful there is very salty language, I laughed quite a bit. 

Big Brother 15 Week 10 Thoughts

To paraphrase Ricky from Trailer Park Boys, tonight's episode was Best Case Ontario for me, two of my least favourite people in the house were given the Australia style big boot.  First, Amanda, I am thrilled that she "got to steppen" as VaGinaMarie said.  This girl is nuttier than squirrel shit, I can't stand people like her.  She is such an awful, mean bully to people, but the second things don't go her way she is in tears and stomps around like a petulant little child, she pulled that stunt all season, she can scheme and plot against everyone else in the house but the second someone says boo about evicting her she goes on a rampage. She is completely delusional, even at the end when the audience booed her she was shocked, what exactly was she thinking? She was actually convinced everyone liked her, and that she was gonna win America's Player.  Osama Bin Laden has a better chance of winning America's Player than Amanda.  I don't know why she thought she was invincible, I know VaGinaMarie is dumber than a box of hammers but she made a good game move nominating her and McPizza, she didn't do it because she was jealous that she never had a relationship with Nick like Amanda has with McCrae, when people like Amanda get backed into a corner, they pull the jealousy card.  Child Please.  All week I have been reading Joker's Updates about the deal Elissa and Amanda made, and I was obviously as shocked as the rest of us. I think production had something to do with it, according to the feeds Amanda came right out of the Diary Room and went to Elissa to propose the deal, with Amanda being good friends with the Executive Producer and Elissa being Rachel's sister it is clear who production wanted to win, and they influenced them to come together and I am glad tonight fucked that all up.

Speaking of Elissa, thank god she is gone.  I haven't liked her since before the season started when I found out she was Rachel's sister.  I did feel bad for her at various points in the season, and she wasn't as irritating as Rachel was but I still found her to be insufferable.  Despite it being awful that Amanda said it right to her, she does have a Joker Face... which was so incredibly shiny when she was being interviewed by Julie Chen. She also talks way to slowly, I just want yell "t-t-t-t-today Junior!" when she talks.  She is also wealthy in real life, I am not saying rich people should be excluded from playing Big Brother, but really when your husband is a millionaire who owns hockey arenas, and you've been able to afford thousands of dollars in plastic surgery, you don't need $500K.  A lot of people on The Twitter are boo-hooing because Elissa is gone, I don't get it.  It's not like she played a good game or anything, as much as I didn't like Rachel, at the end of the day I had to give her credit because she was a good player, I didn't see that at all in Elissa.  Plus is she completely stupid? Thinking McCrae was the one that voted to evict Amanda?  Julie Chen is never one to be at a loss for words, but she was completely stunned that she can be that fucking dumb.

Andy looks like my sisters cat River, and he is going to win this whole game.  Not that I want him to win, but he totally is going too.  Granted he is a floater, and cries all the time but his social game has been good, he played both sides of the house like a violin.  One of my sisters friends correctly predicted Andy was going to win back in early August, so I have to give credit there, it took me until last week to predict he would win! If the Exterminators (aka Exterminaturds) are indeed the final 4, I think he'll win against them all, but if somehow McCrae sneaks his way in I think he has a chance, but him not playing the next HOH all but guarantees that he will be nominated and the one that is evicted next.  Speaking of HOH there is no spoilers to report, who knows when they plan on doing it, as usual I will read the spoilers and as usual I will end up pissing off my friend Jonny when he overhears me telling his wife what the spoilers were, because he doesn't want to hear them.

With the there being an eviction on the Wednesday episode and the Thursday episode you guys might be so lucky as to get 2 blogs next week! Don't count on it though....but if I feel so inclined I just might, then again the rest of this season is going to be boring as fuck now that the villains are gone.