It's about god damned time McDonald's brought us a new burger option. Obviously the Big Mac is and always will be king and I will still order it 90% of the time I get McDonald's, but they are too fucking focused on trying to become a yuppie coffee shop with frou frou salads to remember what they're in business for in the first place - delicious greasy and unhealthy burgers. The Crispy Shrimp Asian Wrap does sound intriguing but I will not be lifting my boycott of McDonald's salads and wraps anytime soon for that. I was at Union Station in Toronto the other night after a Jays game and saw the Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder (Jesus what a mouthful that is, say that 5 times fast) and the Buffalo Chicken Poutine being advertised in the McDonald's there. I had just eaten a big meal and it was late at night so I had no desire to try it then, so I sauntered down to shitty Jackson Square today to give both of them a try.
Before I get into the review, the McDonald's at Jackson Square here in Hamilton has started the irritating practice of having to give your first name in order for them to call it out when your meal is ready. That may not matter to 99% of you, but when your name is Didymus it is kind of annoying having to always repeat yourself... even when I just say Did. This inevitably leads to having to spell out your name, then usually some smart alec remark... people with different names know what I am talking about! I am sure there is a fucking Buzzfeed list about it. Don't get me wrong I like my unique name but sometimes it's a pain in the ass - so I usually just say my name is Gary Porter or Doug Swan or Barry Lewis.
First up is the burger. It was alright, not the best I have had. I remember having this burger in London a couple of years ago and it was way better than the one I had today. The Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder comes with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, crispy onions and smokey BBQ sauce. They have phased out the Third Pounders, and I think it is because sometimes the patties come out dryer than a popcorn fart, and today that was the case. If you look closely at the top bun that's almost a third of the burger without any sauce on it, and that was very disappointing. Here's a closer look at the complete lack of sauce:
The sauce was very good, and when I had this burger a couple of years ago, they went to town with the sauce, and I needed a shower after eating it to clean myself off. If they weren't such cheap arseholes about the sauce it would have offset the dryness of the patty and made it 100 times better. The burger was cold too, and no it wasn't because I spent 20 minutes snapping pictures of it, it was pretty cold right off the jump. I would be willing to try it again because a fresh patty and more sauce would have improved the overall quality considerably.
Next up we have the Buffalo Chicken Poutine. I am a huge chicken wing fan, and the buffalo style hot sauce on this was amongst the best that I have had, if you put this sauce on normal chicken wings you'd have yourself a winner there. It was surprisingly spicy, usually "spicy" stuff from fast food joints lacks any punch. They ask you if you want crispy or grilled chicken with it, of course I am going to get crispy, get the fuck out of here with that grilled nonsense. You get a big portion with a decent amount of cheese curds in it. Things get a little weird though because the first layer is buffalo chicken, but then the second layer is regular poutine with normal "gravy" So that was kind of bizarre, the flavours didn't really mix too much, and I don't think the gravy was necessary. When you go to New York Fries for Butter Chicken Poutine or Pulled Pork Poutine they rightly don't put any gravy on it, McDonald's should have avoided putting their "gravy" on this. I would consider ordering this again, but it is a little pricey, the burger, poutine and pop set me back a whopping $12, which was a little steep for McDonald's, plus you really can't beat regular fries at McDonald's why lump a bunch of extra shit on top of it??
BONUS REVIEW!
Holy fuck the Tim Horton's Oreo Donut is a masterpiece. I couldn't believe how good this donut was, it was a chocolate donut with Oreo icing and crumbled Oreos on top. The kicker though was the white cream in the middle....OK get your white cream jokes out of the way you perverts.... but seriously whatever that goop was in the middle that tasted like Oreo frosting was amazing and I want a tub of it to spread it on toast or just eat the fucking thing with a spoon. The sad thing is I had this donut a week ago, but when I went back today they were all out. I was too heartbroken and upset to get another flavour and I walked out with my head hung low. I need to have another one of these ASAP. It's more expensive than a normal donut at $1.49 but it's worth every penny.
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