Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Friday, February 08, 2013
Celebrity Encounters - George Carlin & Jim Lahey
For 5 years I worked at the lovely Delta London Armouries Hotel in a variety of roles. First off I was a dishwasher, working side by side with my main man Mohammed Kanu, then I was a breakfast porter, where I set up the breakfast buffet and would cook a mean omelet for guests. After that I worked in room service, then I was a waiter in the Armouries Grille. If anyone semi-famous stayed in London (next to nobody) they stayed at the Delta, for the most part when big acts came to the John Labatt Centre....errr Budweiser Gardens they would PTFO or would stay in their tour bus, which was 1000 times better than any hotel rooms in this city. Anyhoo, I did get the opportunity to rub shoulders with some celebrities when I worked there, there was a strict policy to treat them like you would any other guest. This was really cracked down on when K-Dawg tried his damndest to get Motley Crue's autograph. These are the two stories that really stick out at me, I didn't include serving my all-time favourite hockey player Dougie Gilmour, because there really isn't a good story besides me walking by his table every 3 seconds with the biggest shit-eating grin on earth. I also delivered room service to Scott Thompson, Jean Chretien, Don Cherry, Bif Naked, Sass Jordan, Sam Roberts and a bunch of other random former and current hockey players but nothing exciting came from that. The two stories I have involve George Carlin and John Dunsworth aka Mr. Lahey.
George Carlin
I was pretty pumped to find out George Carlin was staying at the hotel, I love and appreciate all his stand-up comedy, on top of that Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is one of my favourite movies of all time. Anyways he ordered room service the night he stayed and I was so very stoked to meet him. He gave his order directly to the Front Desk, which was unusual (aside: I still get nightmares about the Front Desk, with their asinine Rates and Favours and constantly harassing me on the walkie-talkie "Control to Room Service!! Control to Room Service!!). He asked for a sandwich and 3 cans of Diet Coke, he was very specific about having cans, no fountain bullshit. I don't blame him for that, pop tastes the best coming from a can. Unfortunately, we didn't have cold Diet Coke cans ready, so I took $1.50 out of my own pocket and got him those cans from our staff vending machine. Anyways, we were supposed to write the guests name and room number on the bill for them to sign, so I decided to pay homage to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and wrote "Rufus" on the bill. So I go up to deliver his food and 3 cans of Diet Coke, and I am very nervous, without a few beers in me I tend to be a little shy. I went into his room and dropped his food off and gave him his bill to sign, and he goes "Ahhhh I'm glad somebody recognizes Rufus", at this point I am pretty sure I muttered something about Bill and Ted's being my favourite movie. He then signs his bill and gives me an American $10 bill and says "here go buy some fucking weed with this". I said "Thank you Mr. Carlin, I will!" and I did...best dime bag ever. I wish I had kept that bill with his autograph, or at least got it photocopied. This is easily a story I will tell for the rest of my life. RIP George Carlin.
John Dunsworth aka Mr. Lahey
Trailer Park Boys is easily one of my all time favourite shows. I have quotes from that show etched in my brain and will throw them out whenever need be. One night when I was working room service I got word that Mr. Lahey and Randy were staying there. The front desk clerk told me they came in REEEEKING of dope, pretty much like Otto's Jacket or my place at 1148 Richmond St. in University. I was waiting all night for them to order room service, but no dice. As usual, after our shift a few of us went to the Crabby Joe's across the street to blow all our tip money. We were just sitting there having our usual asinine conversation when all the sudden we look over and Lahey and Randy and their posse come sauntering in. I was so pumped to see them! We left them alone at first, then we cracked and went up and talked to them, we got a picture taken with Randy, he said "guts out boys" and we all had to lift up our shirts for the pic. I never did end up seeing that picture. Originally my plan was to only go "for one" as I had to work early the next morning, but "just one" turned into "multiple" along with a joint or 3 we went outside to smoke. Anyways, Randy and Lahey actually tried to stay in character at first, but then I went outside to "smoke" with Lahey, and talked to him one-on-one for a good half hour to 45 minutes out of character about the show. I wish I remember the details, but as I said booze and trees. I do remember him being a really nice guy and I enjoyed the conversation, although I probably just sounded like a Trailer Park Boys fanboy. Anyways, I did surprisingly make it to work the next morning, hung over as fuck, and at about 10:30 Lahey and Randy show up for breakfast, I was portering the buffet at the time, so I went and said hello. Mr. Lahey said he was shocked to see me there as I was absolutely shit-faced the night before. Frankly, I was surprised that I was there myself. Almost a year later I went visit my old room-mate and good friend Mike "Okotoks" Gaudet in Calgary, we were walking down 7th Ave. which is the big party area in Calgary. We saw Mr. Lahey and Randy drinking on a patio, we stopped and said hello, that is when Mr. Lahey said "you're Didymus, you work at the Delta in London" I was shocked he remembered me! We chatted for a minute or two, the picture above is one from that encounter (PS I was there during Calgary Stampede, that's why I am wearing that ridiculous cowboy hat). About a year after that, shortly after my beloved Uncle Johnny passed (which was 5 years ago to this day - February 8th) I was sitting in the Cantata Lounge at the hotel having a beer after my shift, I had no idea that they were there that night, my old non-UWO room-mate Dave was working the bar, and he saw them and must've told him what happened and Mr. Lahey came up to me and offered his condolences. We then bro-hugged. I haven't seen him since, I worry about him because I have heard he is actually a legit alcoholic and does have a gambling problem. Hopefully he is over that.
Well that is my brushes with celebs, hopefully you guys enjoy reading these blogs as much as I like writing them!! I love tracking the stats on this, I'm flabbergasted that people in Germany, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt read my dumb musings. As usual follow me on twitter @didhenley
Wednesday, February 06, 2013
Another McDonald's Post
Hello friends, I've been meaning to write another post for awhile now but have had trouble thinking of ideas, so I decided to write about what I know, and love, best - McDick's. I've decided to rate the burgers - just the burgers, none of the wraps, and especially none of the salads. Fuck getting McDonald's salads, they may well be tasty, but who goes to McDonald's for salad? It's like going to a bar for non-alcoholic beer. I left Chicken McNuggets off the list as well, I do love a good McNugget (with honey) but it's not a burger. Also Double Big Macs etc. count in the same category as a Big Mac. The rankings are from worst to first.
7. Filet-O-Fish
Fuck the Filet-O-Fish, what a waste of my time. I've only ordered this once in my entire life just to say that I've tried it, it was whack. It was just way too plain, don't get me wrong I like fish, just not the Filet-O-Fish. I'm sure the actual "fish" was just a bunch of fish heads and tails taken from Hamilton Harbour. You can get a Double Filet-O-Fish if you so please, but you might be the only person in the history of mankind to order it.
6. McChicken
I'm not sure what happened to the humble McChicken sandwich, I used to really like it, but I had it the other day again and regretted the decision. The actual chicken patty was brown...brown, Jerry!! I'm all for dark meat chicken, but biting into a McChicken that was brown was a little unsettling. It didn't stop me from eating the whole thing, but I did it with a little bit of trepidation. "McChicken Sauce" aka Mayonaise is still fan-donkey-tastic and I would bathe in that stuff if it ever came to it. The Junior Chicken which makes an appearance later is way better.
5. McBistro Chicken Sandwiches
OVER-RA-TED (clap, clap - clap, clap, clap). What a monumental waste of time ordering these sandwiches, every time I get it I regret it. Like the Angus Third Pounders I decided just to lump them all together. I think it's the bun I don't like the most. While I commend McDonald's for trying something different with a ciabatta style bun, it's always cold, it breaks apart easily and it's just too much bun. Hot sandwiches require hot buns, toast the fuckers or at least steam them. There is a new Spicy Thai one out that I tried the other day, it was OK, the "spicy" part of it was these weird crispy things, I have no idea what they were. The severe downside is that it gave me the scoots. Another thing is these fuckers are over-priced, almost $9 for a meal? The reason it gets the edge over the McChicken is that at least the meat was white. PS is there anyone that actually gets the grilled chicken? It's crispy chicken or GTFO.
4. Quarter Pounder with Cheese
Time for the beefy goodness, thus far my rankings have been predominately negative, even for a self-described fast foodie like myself who eats at McDonald's at least once a week. A Quarter Pounder is as safe as choice as any when you go to McDonald's, it rarely disappoints. Save the Double Quarter Pounder for when you're really drunk, it's 100 times better that way, and it's a little treat for yourself at the time that makes your hangover 20 times worse. At a party a few years back (actually over 10 years back, gulp) a guy who who worked at McDonald's brought a box of Quarter Pounders, and we threw them on the BBQ, that was a taste sensation the likes of which have not been equaled in the decade since. Once I got a Double Quarter Pounder dressed like a Big Mac. Needless to say it was a life changing experience.
3. Angus Third Pounders
Specifically the Bacon one. These burgers have been around in Amurrrica for quite some time before they made their way north, and the wait was far too long. These burgers are incredible, I appreciate the red onions over those regular little fuckers, also the pickles are a lot better than what you expect on a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder. They don't get too fancy with the bun, none of this hard as brick ciabatta bullshit. The Mushroom and Swiss is the ugly step sister of the group, it's OK but I left it wanting more. Once at the shitty Wharncliffe and Oxford location, I ordered it and they forgot the mushrooms!! There is 3 bloody toppings on this and they forget the main one...bunch of cretins. In the summer they had this BBQ style that had some manner of chipotle sauce on it, with those crispy little onions, that was really good. On an aside because of that retarded Molson 67 "guy-et" commercial, I almost hate those crispy little onions on principle, but it's so hard because I actually love them, I could eat a big bowl of them right now.
2. The McGangBang
This is like there is a party in your mouth and everyone is invited. I'm not sure who first introduced me to the glory that it is the McGangBang, I'm pretty sure it's my buddy T-Bone from when I worked at the (puke) GoodLife call centre (end puke) but this has been my go to when I want my McDick's fix and I am a little low on cash. What you do is you order a McDouble and a Junior Chicken, both picks off the value menu, so this is not gonna set you back a lot of money. Then you separate the McDouble and put the Junior Chicken inside. Rumour has it some McDonald's will make one for you if you ask, but I've always been too embarrassed and have done it myself.
1. Big Mac
Long Live the King. The Big Mac is the best, it's been my go-to at McDicks since grade 5, and it will be for years to come. At least 85% of the time I get McDonald's I get a Big Mac combo, there a reason why it is the #1. I could easily eat one every day for the rest of my life and die a happy man. (that death may come sooner than expected however). Big Mac Sauce is the best, pickles are good, I don't know how many more ways I can describe my love for the Big Mac.
(Very) Honourable Mention: The Hockey Hero Sandwich
The Hockey Hero Sandwich may well be the best burger I have had at any restaurant, let alone McDonald's. The problem is, that save a select few, nobody knows what the hell I am talking about. The year was 2003, I was in my 2nd year at UWO, me and the boys lived close to the Wharncliffe and Oxford McDonald's and would frequent it quite a bit. One night we ventured to McDonald's for munchies (it was either that or Flying Tomato Pizza...oh man Flying Tomato Pizza was soooooo good, may that pizza parlour Rest in Peace). We all decided to order the new Hockey Hero Sandwich, we sat down to eat it and the heavens opened up. We all sat there in silence while we mowed down this culinary work of art. That's when you know something is good is when you're in a eating with a group of people and not a word is spoken while the food is eaten. After we were done crushing it we practically gave the thing a standing ovation. We then finished it off with a Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurry, which was also amazing. It's hard to describe the Hockey Hero, it was three regular patties laid across a longer bun with two different kinds of cheese and McChicken Sauce. Fuck it was good, and I have been waiting 10 long years for it to come back, so far not a sniff.
I'm not smart enough with this blogging business to imbed a YouTube video to my blog but click the link below to see what the Hockey Hero Sandwich looked like, this is a commercial from 1995 where it was called the Super Hero Sandwich, and was linked with one of the Batman movies.
Well that's all for tonight folks, I'm actually off work the next 4 days, and it's supposed to snow a lot so it could give me more time to think of and post more dumb shit on this blog. Thanks for reading!!
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