REVIEW: Texan Angus Third Pounder

The other night after work I had to strap on my bullet proof vest and head to my bank at Dundas and Richmond to bleed my bank account dry in order to pay rent.  As I passed through the usual crowd of loitering reprobates discussing the latest ways to cook meth (little did those skids know I had $500 cash on me!) I noticed a sign on the McDonald's shining like a bright beacon announcing the new Texan Angus Third Pounder,  "Jalapeno Bold" they said.  At that point in the night the greasy walk up window was the only thing that was open and I didn't want to order it only to walk it home and have it be ice cold when I ate it.  I went home and tried to do a little Google research on it, but there was nothing, so this must be a London only thing, as we all know the Forest City is a test market for McDonald's.  My message to the McDonald's suit-dicks is to keep this burger on the menu full time.

 

I went back to the greasy Dundas and Richmond location today to try out the new burger, as usual the place was packed with the usual cast of miscreants, ugh I always feel like I need a shower after being in this place.  My order took a while, which never bugs me, because I know the burger will be fresh, the fries unfortunately, were not.  As you can see from the picture above the burger had jalapenos, onion, bacon and some manner of smokey chipotle sauce.  I have absolutely no idea what those little green crumbly things were but they were pretty good.  I am not sure what kind of cheese they put on it, judging by the picture in front of the store they probably intended on it being Monterey Jack maybe jalapeno cheddar?  It certainly was not jalapeno havarti, but as we all know any sort of processed cheese always tastes the same.  As mentioned because this is a London only test run, there is no mention of this burger on McDonald's website or anywhere else online, so I couldn't get a description of the cheese, sauce or whatever those green things are.  All in all the burger worked, and I enjoyed it very much, despite it having jalapenos I didn't find it spicy at all, I guess I am just used to spicy foods now.  A couple of years ago I couldn't handle spicy foods, mild wings at some places caused be to sweat profusely, now it's Franks's Red Hot all day.  The real winner though on this burger was the bacon.  McDonald's bacon is awesome, I am not sure how they prepare it but it is crispy and delicious.  I'm surprised they don't serve it alone as a side, oh yeah they're too busy pushing coffee, and their healthy choices, ugh. 

In conclusion, this burger was a winner and should be launched nationwide.  At $9.14 for a combo it's definitely on the pricey side, but hey you gotta treat yourself sometime.  Now to wait and see if it is spicy coming out.

What happened to the Rogers Ginge?

As readers of this blog know a couple of months ago I compared the two most annoying Dad's in TV commercial history, the Rogers Ginge and that awful Canadian Tire Guy.  Apparently the suit-dicks at Rogers have nothing better to do but scour the internet and in the latest commercial the Rogers Ginge (let's call him Dirk) has been given the heave-ho!  They must've read my blog and decided enough is enough, we can no longer give this loser air time.  But, after watching the new commercial I have to think it's not Dirks fault he was such a toolbag, he was driven to insanity by his bitchy wife.  I think ol' Dirk has come to his senses and hit the road.  In the latest crappy Rogers commercial that airs 1000 times a night, it is the same wife, but the Roger Ginge has been replaced.  I feel bad for this new guy, the wife goes out of her way to embarrass him in front of her friends.  Calling him out for watching "The Real Women of Nantucket" and figure skating, she isn't even doing it in a joking way, she is just straight up bitch.  Let the man enjoy his Real Women of Nantucket, that stuff isn't my cup of tea, but I've watched some pretty suspect programming over the years, we had OC viewing parties in University (first season only, which according to Matt Logue was a "work of art"), and I wasn't put on point about it in front of a group of people I just met.

As much as Dirk is a fucking dork, his wife is a real mean person.  Remember when the wife and daughter got home and kicked Dirk and his son out of the comfy chairs to an obstructed view on the couch of a movie that they were watching peacefully before they barged in.  Plus she threw a handful of popcorn at him when he simply wanted to get the movie going, I bet you that isn't the only time she threw stuff at him in a fit of rage.  He lived such a miserable life that his stupid Roger NextBox remote that let him pause and start programs on different TVs caused him such joy, it was the happiest the poor bastard has been in years.

In closing, I take back all the mean things I said about Dirk the Rogers Ginge, you go enjoy single life let the new guy live in misery.  The Canadian Tire Guy will always be the worst Dad in Canadian commercial history.

Review: King of the Pigs

Long Live the King!  After a couple of weeks of hype, we finally made our latest stop on our culinary tour of London at the King of the Pigs.  For the first time there was girls on our trip! All that meant was that I had to watch my table manners, and keep the poop and blue waffle jokes to a minimum.  There really wasn't much conversation during dinner because we were all completely focused on the deliciousness in front of us.  When we were creeping the menu online they had different Meals for 4 or 2 that had whole chickens, ribs, fries salad, and we planned on ordering that, but when we got there that wasn't an option on the menu so we all got individual meals.  When I went to the King of the Pigs years ago it was this little hole in the wall in East London with a bunch of old Portuguese guys (or as my Uncle Pat says Portu-goose) hanging out watching soccer, I think they were a little pissed off that us Newfies were invading their hang out.  Since then it's undergone some renovations and looks a lot nicer, but these greasy old Portuguese guys remain. Thankfully the food was just as good as I remember.

The meal started off with fresh bread and black olives.  The bread was awesome, it could because I was starving and that was the first thing I ate all day, but you could tell it was fresh.  As for the olives, I wasn't sure if I liked them or not and hesitated at first, but hey it turns out I like black olives, how about that.  I ordered the chicken and back ribs, as seen above.  The best part about this meal is there was not one vegetable to be seen.  The fries were crispy and hot, lots of places half ass their fries, but not KOTP, plus they had malt vinegar on the table which was a welcome bonus.  Despite being called the King of the Pigs the chicken was the star of this meal.  Don't get me wrong the ribs were good, but I have definitely had better.  I'm a bit of a rib snob because my Mom makes the best ribs in the world, so any other ribs are mere mortals.  There is your standard BBQ sauce on the ribs but the sauce on the chicken was incredible, I would bathe in this sauce if need be.  I'm at a loss at describing it, it must've been covered it olive oil and some magical dry rub was put on it.  Next time I go I am just going to get the chicken and fries.  The prices are extremely reasonable too, Bobby ordered a Chipotle chicken sandwich and fries, and it was $8 (tax included)!  A Big Mac combo sets you back $8.12 at McDonald's (yes I know the exact price with taxes for a Big Mac combo) 

BONUS REVIEW!:  After dinner we went to Boston Pizza for a few drinks and dessert and to watch the Leafs (literally) kick the snot out of the woe-begotten Sens.  For a chain Boston Pizza has really good food, I've never had a bad meal there.  Despite my size and love for food believe it or not I am not a huge dessert guy, I would choose to  have 2 dinners as opposed to a dinner and dessert.  Unfortunately for me, too much dairy makes me bloated and farty, but I do love ice cream.  This panookie from Boston Pizza was great, it was a giant warm chocolate chip cookie (tasted like a Pillsbury one) with a scoop of vanilla ice cream with some chocolate and caramel drizzled on it.  It was very good, however taking a big swig of beer right after eating ice cream is the grossest thing ever.  The Leafs-Sens game was pretty entertaining, watching that wuss on the Sens getting knocked the fuck out by Frazer McLaren in a room full of people was pretty awesome.  You don't see knock outs like that in the UFC most of the time. 

Well that's it for another review, we have a few ideas for our next stop, we're going to all you can eat pancakes at the Golden Griddle, I've never been to Tony Roma's apparently the ribs there are really good.  The Works and Relish are on the list too.  Stay tuned later tonight (or tomorrow) for my first weekly Big Brother Canada review. 

Some NHL thoughts

Believe it or not the NHL has almost reached it's midway point in this shortened season, and if the season ended right now the Leafs would be in the playoffs!  The Leafs making the playoffs actually presents somewhat of a crisis for me, I tend to work evenings, and if I have work during a Game 7 of a Leafs playoff series I will lose my shit. This hasn't been a problem for me in the last 9 years (ugh), I guess I am going to have to get that diarrhea disease I said I had to get out of work when I worked at the GoodLife call centre.  Speaking of hell, I always liked getting my stats for the day and finding out I took over 25 minutes worth of shit breaks hahahahaha.  Anyways back to hockey, I have to say I am enjoying the way the Leafs are playing this year, mind you they've had some disaster games but who hasn't?  The goaltending has been spotty at times but both James "Optimus Reim" Reimer and "Big" Ben Scrivens have both had great games, and like I said it my first hockey post, if the Leafs can get consistent goaltending they'll be playoff bound.

One of the main reason for the Leafs being in a playoff position is London Ontario's own and former London Knight Nazem Kadri.  (kudos to TheScore for that Naz as Nas pic, lord knows I'm not that clever).  The guy has been lights out this year, his hat trick last night against the Islanders was a thing of beauty.  I've been on the Kadri bandwagon since his London Knights days, the way that Ron "Wrong" Wilson and Brian Burke treated him should be amongst the main reasons neither is employed with the organization anymore.  Even Dallas "Do you want a bus ride to Petrolia or a cab ride to the Air Canada Centre" Eakins calling him fat at the start of Toronto Marlies training camp is laughable and an example of the clubs shitty handling of him.  Some might argue all this tough love is the reason he's doing so well, I argue that you need your head examined and he should have been on the team all last year.  The only good thing Pierre McGuire has said in his entire life was when he said Naz had "nifty mittens" after a particularly impressive shoot out goal a couple of seasons back.  All this playing on a line with this guy...

The goon Colton Orr!  Seriously Randy Carlyle has been playing this guy a regular shift on his line.  The guy is an ankle burner, who should be buried on the 4th line at best not leading the team in ice time. Don't get me wrong I love hockey fights, I know it's the cool thing to hate on hockey fights, many bloggers and columnists I respect rally against it....but fuck em.  I know all the arguments against it, concussions, and the fact that when it comes down to it they truly serve no purpose whatsoever, but I don't care, a good scrap is awesome.  That all being said, hockey skill wise Colton Orr sucks.  I think Kadri should centre the first line between my boy Phil Kessel and James van Riemsdyk aka van Dreamsdyk.  Speaking of whom, has been incredible this year, kudos to Brian Burke for trading Puke Schenn to Philly for him. 

My boy Phil Kessel has been a lightning rod of controversy in his tenure in Toronto, mainly because of the controversial deal that brought him here.  It seems like I am constantly defending the best player they've had since Sundin. Granted he hasn't scored at the pace we're used to this season, but he has still put up a ton of assists, and some of his passes to van Dreamsdyk for goals this year have been things of beauty. One of my managers at work Ryan, is a die hard Red Wings fan, and he shits on Kessel and the Leafs non-stop.  During the last World Juniors he was going on about how great this nobody Tomas Tatar is for Slovakia and he was a Wings prospect.  I correctly dismissed this plug as a sure fire bust bound for the Circus Leagues.  Anyways Tommy Tatar (pronounced T'Tar in a weird accent) made his NHL debut during Phil Kessel's minor goal scoring slump at the start of the season, and Ryan made a bet with me that this loser Tatar would score before Phil Kessel, and if he did I was not allowed to eat donuts for a year.  Obviously I won that bet, and now Ryan owes me beers, which he conveniently seems to forget.

Amongst many reasons why the Ottawa Senators are the worst team in the history of sports the above video is perhaps the number one reason why.  What a complete and total disaster, I have a hard time picking my favourite part, his crappy helmet falling off, the mic cutting in and out, the lines glued to the back of his shield, the fact that this Roman Warrior is in about as good as shape as I am, or when he says "welcome our heroes" while the Penguins skate out on the ice and the audience boos.  I actually tweeted this video to Mike Commodore, who can be seen standing at the start thinking "what kind of shitty half-assed organization am I a part of?" and he told me that was the most embarrassing moment of his career.

The Sens are so fucking brutal, and I hate all the flukey luck they've had thus far this season.  Jason Spezza, or "Jayshun Scheptcha" as Bryan Murray calls him and Erik "Overrated" Karlsson's injuries should have plunged the shit-stained Sens to the basement where they belong, yet riding flukey goaltending and winning shoot-out games they have some how managed to stay in the conversation in the Eastern Conference playoff race.  I predict this will end very quickly.  Craig Anderson and Ben "Billy" Bishop will regress back to the shitbags that they are, and Daniel Alfreddsson will thankfully retire after this season and we will finally be rid of this ugly Krusty the Clown looking dirtbag forever.   That toolbox owner of theirs Eugene Melnyk went crying to the media about Karlssons injury, saying Matt Cooke did it on purpose, that was an accident.  What that dork and the rest of dorky Sens fans seem to forget is that Marion Hossa blinded and effectively ended Bryan Berard's career with an errant high stick back in 2000.  To me that was a lot more intentional especially considering Berards (justified) decision not to report to the Senators after they drafted him first overall 1995, seems like a bit of a coincidence to me.

As for the rest of the league, you really can't ignore how good the Blackhawks have been, besides the Leafs they're a surefire Stanley Cup contender.  I think in this shortened season anything could still happen, the standings now could look totally different by the end of April or whenever the fuck the playoffs start. 

Anyways that's all for me tonight, we're going to King of the Pigs this coming Wednesday so expect one of my famous food reviews on that.  Big Brother Canada has started, and I am already hooked.  Big Brother is my favourite show and I'm thinking of writing a weekly blog about that.  By the way Suzette on Big Brother Canada is actually the worst.  The woman can barely string a sentence together and she hosts a radio show.  My Heavens.   As always give me a follow on twitter @didhenley

Celebrity Encounters - George Carlin & Jim Lahey

For 5 years I worked at the lovely Delta London Armouries Hotel in a variety of roles.  First off I was a dishwasher, working side by side with my main man Mohammed Kanu, then I was a breakfast porter, where I set up the breakfast buffet and would cook a mean omelet for guests.  After that I worked in room service, then I was a waiter in the Armouries Grille.  If anyone semi-famous stayed in London (next to nobody) they stayed at the Delta, for the most part when big acts came to the John Labatt Centre....errr Budweiser Gardens they would PTFO or would stay in their tour bus, which was 1000 times better than any hotel rooms in this city.  Anyhoo, I did get the opportunity to rub shoulders with some celebrities when I worked there, there was a strict policy to treat them like you would any other guest.  This was really cracked down on when K-Dawg tried his damndest to get Motley Crue's autograph.  These are the two stories that really stick out at me, I didn't include serving my all-time favourite hockey player Dougie Gilmour, because there really isn't a good story besides me walking by his table every 3 seconds with the biggest shit-eating grin on earth.  I also delivered room service to Scott Thompson, Jean Chretien, Don Cherry, Bif Naked, Sass Jordan, Sam Roberts and a bunch of other random former and current hockey players but nothing exciting came from that.  The two stories I have involve George Carlin and John Dunsworth aka Mr. Lahey.

 

George Carlin

I was pretty pumped to find out George Carlin was staying at the hotel, I love and appreciate all his stand-up comedy, on top of that Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure is one of my favourite movies of all time.  Anyways he ordered room service the night he stayed and I was so very stoked to meet him.  He gave his order directly to the Front Desk, which was unusual (aside: I still get nightmares about the Front Desk, with their asinine Rates and Favours and constantly harassing me on the walkie-talkie "Control to Room Service!! Control to Room Service!!).  He asked for a sandwich and 3 cans of Diet Coke, he was very specific about having cans, no fountain bullshit.  I don't blame him for that, pop tastes the best coming from a can.  Unfortunately, we didn't have cold Diet Coke cans ready, so I took $1.50 out of my own pocket and got him those cans from our staff vending machine.  Anyways, we were supposed to write the guests name and room number on the bill for them to sign, so I decided to pay homage to Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and wrote "Rufus" on the bill.  So I go up to deliver his food and 3 cans of Diet Coke, and I am very nervous, without a few beers in me I tend to be a little shy.  I went into his room and dropped his food off and gave him his bill to sign, and he goes "Ahhhh I'm glad somebody recognizes Rufus", at this point I am pretty sure I muttered something about Bill and Ted's being my favourite movie.  He then signs his bill and gives me an American $10 bill and says "here go buy some fucking weed with this".  I said "Thank you Mr. Carlin, I will!" and I did...best dime bag ever.  I wish I had kept that bill with his autograph, or at least got it photocopied.  This is easily a story I will tell for the rest of my life.  RIP George Carlin.

 

John Dunsworth aka Mr. Lahey

Trailer Park Boys is easily one of my all time favourite shows.  I have quotes from that show etched in my brain and will throw them out whenever need be. One night when I was working room service I got word that Mr. Lahey and Randy were staying there.  The front desk clerk told me they came in REEEEKING of dope, pretty much like Otto's Jacket or my place at 1148 Richmond St. in University.  I was waiting all night for them to order room service, but no dice.  As usual, after our shift a few of us went to the Crabby Joe's across the street to blow all our tip money. We were just sitting there having our usual asinine conversation when all the sudden we look over and Lahey and Randy and their posse come sauntering in.  I was so pumped to see them!  We left them alone at first, then we cracked and went up and talked to them, we got a picture taken with Randy, he said "guts out boys" and we all had to lift up our shirts for the pic. I never did end up seeing that picture. Originally my plan was to only go "for one" as I had to work early the next morning, but "just one" turned into "multiple" along with a joint or 3 we went outside to smoke.  Anyways, Randy and Lahey actually tried to stay in character at first, but then I went outside to "smoke" with Lahey, and talked to him one-on-one for a good half hour to 45 minutes out of character about the show.  I wish I remember the details, but as I said booze and trees.  I do remember him being a really nice guy and I enjoyed the conversation, although I probably just sounded like a Trailer Park Boys fanboy.  Anyways, I did surprisingly make it to work the next morning, hung over as fuck, and at about 10:30 Lahey and Randy show up for breakfast,  I was portering the buffet at the time, so I went and said hello.  Mr. Lahey said he was shocked to see me there as I was absolutely shit-faced the night before.  Frankly, I was surprised that I was there myself.  Almost a year later I went visit my old room-mate and good friend Mike "Okotoks" Gaudet in Calgary, we were walking down 7th Ave. which is the big party area in Calgary.  We saw Mr. Lahey and Randy drinking on a patio, we stopped and said hello, that is when Mr. Lahey said "you're Didymus, you work at the Delta in London"  I was shocked he remembered me! We chatted for a minute or two, the picture above is one from that encounter (PS I was there during Calgary Stampede, that's why I am wearing that ridiculous cowboy hat).  About a year after that, shortly after my beloved Uncle Johnny passed (which was 5 years ago to this day - February 8th) I was sitting in the Cantata Lounge at the hotel having a beer after my shift, I had no idea that they were there that night, my old non-UWO room-mate Dave was working the bar, and he saw them and must've told him what happened and Mr. Lahey came up to me and offered his condolences. We then bro-hugged.  I haven't seen him since, I worry about him because I have heard he is actually a legit alcoholic and does have a gambling problem.  Hopefully he is over that.

Well that is my brushes with celebs, hopefully you guys enjoy reading these blogs as much as I like writing them!! I love tracking the stats on this, I'm flabbergasted that people in Germany, Saudi Arabia, and Egypt read my dumb musings.  As usual follow me on twitter @didhenley

Another McDonald's Post

Hello friends, I've been meaning to write another post for awhile now but have had trouble thinking of ideas, so I decided to write about what I know, and love, best - McDick's. I've decided to rate the burgers - just the burgers, none of the wraps, and especially none of the salads. Fuck getting McDonald's salads, they may well be tasty, but who goes to McDonald's for salad? It's like going to a bar for non-alcoholic beer.  I left Chicken McNuggets off the list as well, I do love a good McNugget (with honey) but it's not a burger.  Also Double Big Macs etc. count in the same category as a Big Mac. The rankings are from worst to first.

 

7. Filet-O-Fish

Fuck the Filet-O-Fish, what a waste of my time.  I've only ordered this once in my entire life just to say that I've tried it, it was whack.  It was just way too plain, don't get me wrong I like fish, just not the Filet-O-Fish.  I'm sure the actual "fish" was just a bunch of fish heads and tails taken from Hamilton Harbour.  You can get a Double Filet-O-Fish if you so please, but you might be the only person in the history of mankind to order it. 

  6. McChicken

I'm not sure what happened to the humble McChicken sandwich, I used to really like it, but I had it the other day again and regretted the decision.  The actual chicken patty was brown...brown, Jerry!! I'm all for dark meat chicken, but biting into a McChicken that was brown was a little unsettling. It didn't stop me from eating the whole thing, but I did it with a little bit of trepidation. "McChicken Sauce" aka Mayonaise is still fan-donkey-tastic and I would bathe in that stuff if it ever came to it.  The Junior Chicken which makes an appearance later is way better.

 

5. McBistro Chicken Sandwiches

OVER-RA-TED (clap, clap - clap, clap, clap).  What a monumental waste of time ordering these sandwiches, every time I get it I regret it.  Like the Angus Third Pounders I decided just to lump them all together. I think it's the bun I don't like the most.  While I commend McDonald's for trying something different with a ciabatta style bun, it's always cold, it breaks apart easily and it's just too much bun.  Hot sandwiches require hot buns, toast the fuckers or at least steam them.  There is a new Spicy Thai one out that I tried the other day, it was OK, the "spicy" part of it was these weird crispy things, I have no idea what they were.  The severe downside is that it gave me the scoots.  Another thing is these fuckers are over-priced, almost $9 for a meal?  The reason it gets the edge over the McChicken is that at least the meat was white.  PS is there anyone that actually gets the grilled chicken?  It's crispy chicken or GTFO.

 

4. Quarter Pounder with Cheese 

Time for the beefy goodness, thus far my rankings have been predominately negative, even for a self-described fast foodie like myself who eats at McDonald's at least once a week.  A Quarter Pounder is as safe as choice as any when you go to McDonald's, it rarely disappoints.  Save the Double Quarter Pounder for when you're really drunk, it's 100 times better that way, and it's a little treat for yourself at the time that makes your hangover 20 times worse.  At a party a few years back (actually over 10 years back, gulp) a guy who who worked at McDonald's brought a box of Quarter Pounders, and we threw them on the BBQ, that was a taste sensation the likes of which have not been equaled in the decade since. Once I got a Double Quarter Pounder dressed like a Big Mac.  Needless to say it was a life changing experience.

 

3. Angus Third Pounders

Specifically the Bacon one.  These burgers have been around in Amurrrica for quite some time before they made their way north, and the wait was far too long.  These burgers are incredible, I appreciate the red onions over those regular little fuckers, also the pickles are a lot better than what you expect on a Big Mac or a Quarter Pounder.  They don't get too fancy with the bun, none of this hard as brick ciabatta bullshit.  The Mushroom and Swiss is the ugly step sister of the group, it's OK but I left it wanting more.  Once at the shitty Wharncliffe and Oxford location, I ordered it and they forgot the mushrooms!!  There is 3 bloody toppings on this and they forget the main one...bunch of cretins.  In the summer they had this BBQ style that had some manner of chipotle sauce on it, with those crispy little onions, that was really good.  On an aside because of that retarded Molson 67 "guy-et" commercial, I almost hate those crispy little onions on principle, but it's so hard because I actually love them, I could eat a big bowl of them right now. 

2. The McGangBang

This is like there is a party in your mouth and everyone is invited.  I'm not sure who first introduced me to the glory that it is the McGangBang, I'm pretty sure it's my buddy T-Bone from when I worked at the (puke) GoodLife call centre (end puke) but this has been my go to when I want my McDick's fix and I am a little low on cash.  What you do is you order a McDouble and a Junior Chicken, both picks off the value menu, so this is not gonna set you back a lot of money.  Then you separate the McDouble and put the Junior Chicken inside.  Rumour has it some McDonald's will make one for you if you ask, but I've always been too embarrassed and have done it myself.

1. Big Mac

Long Live the King.  The Big Mac is the best, it's been my go-to at McDicks since grade 5, and it will be for years to come.  At least 85% of the time I get McDonald's I get a Big Mac combo, there a reason why it is the #1.  I could easily eat one every day for the rest of my life and die a happy man.  (that death may come sooner than expected however).  Big Mac Sauce is the best, pickles are good, I don't know how many more ways I can describe my love for the Big Mac. 

(Very) Honourable Mention:  The Hockey Hero Sandwich

The Hockey Hero Sandwich may well be the best burger I have had at any restaurant, let alone McDonald's.  The problem is, that save a select few, nobody knows what the hell I am talking about.  The year was 2003, I was in my 2nd year at UWO, me and the boys lived close to the Wharncliffe and Oxford McDonald's and would frequent it quite a bit.  One night we ventured to McDonald's for munchies (it was either that or Flying Tomato Pizza...oh man Flying Tomato Pizza was soooooo good, may that pizza parlour Rest in Peace).  We all decided to order the new Hockey Hero Sandwich, we sat down to eat it and the heavens opened up.  We all sat there in silence while we mowed down this culinary work of art.  That's when you know something is good is when you're in a eating with a group of people and not a word is spoken while the food is eaten.  After we were done crushing it we practically gave the thing a standing ovation.  We then finished it off with a Cadbury Creme Egg McFlurry, which was also amazing.  It's hard to describe the Hockey Hero, it was three regular patties laid across a longer bun with two different kinds of cheese and McChicken Sauce.  Fuck it was good, and I have been waiting 10 long years for it to come back, so far not a sniff. 

I'm not smart enough with this blogging business to imbed a YouTube video to my blog but click the link below to see what the Hockey Hero Sandwich looked like, this is a commercial from 1995 where it was called the Super Hero Sandwich, and was linked with one of the Batman movies.

Delicious Hockey Hero Sandwich.

Well that's all for tonight folks, I'm actually off work the next 4 days, and it's supposed to snow a lot so it could give me more time to think of and post more dumb shit on this blog.  Thanks for reading!!

Review: Quesada Mexican Grill

Tonight's spot on Greg (GRGILL), Rob (Bobby B) (note: once I have a nickname for you I'll only ever call you that for the rest of your life) and mine culinary adventures is Quesada Mexican Grill located at Wellington and Commissioners. This is the 6th spot we've been to, and like the others that preceded, it was very good. Working in retail, our days off are all over the place and they haven't lined up recently, so tonight it was a spur of the moment decision to go after work, and I'm glad we did. GRGILL was kind enough to wait around an hour for me to finish after his own shift!

This brick is my Big Ass Burrito. In the background was my Jarrito's Mexican Soda, Pineapple flavour...that alone was worth the price of admission. The way it works is you line up, pick either taco, burrito or quesadilla (Napoleon! Make yerself a dang kess-a-dilla). Then you pick your meat, I was flip flopping between Spicy Chipotle Chicken and Ancho Seasoned Pork, I decided to go for the pork. You move down stations where they load it with toppings, mine had Rice and Beans, Salsa Verde, Jalapenos, Corn, Onion, Guacamole, Cheese, Lettuce, Sour Cream and this Chiptole Sauce. I didn't put any cilantro on it, I'm still not sure about cilantro, sometimes I like it sometimes I hate it, I really didn't want to risk it.

Here's a lovely shot of me taken by my pal GRGILL enjoying my Big Ass Burrito. (aside: Holy shit I'm bald, I mean I know I'm bald but I never fully notice until I see a picture of myself) The burrito and my fancy Mexican pop set me back $15. A little steep, but it was a ton of food, I finished it, but was bursting at the seems when it was all done...that Big Ass Burrito will make for a Big Ass Dump later tonight. Next time I go I am going to go with 3 or 4 small tacos with different flavours (GRGILLS fish taco looked amazing) as opposed to 1 Big Ass Burrito.

One last shot, apparently this place is a chain, so check it out if there is one in your neck of the woods. It looks like the next place we're going to is an all you can eat sushi place called 168 Sushi...see I'm classy I can eat Sushi, I'm not all fast food and poop jokes.

That's all for me tonight, two posts in two days! You guys are lucky! In the mean time give me a follow on twitter @didhenley I've got a few loyal followers but I feel most of my measly 118 followers are ad-bots.

Shit Bandits

Today's post is a quick little rant about the people I hate the most in the world: Shit Bandits. What's a Shit Bandit you ask? (besides being the scum of the Earth). Shit Bandits are people who go take a dump in a public washroom and don't flush the toilet. What the fuck is wrong with these people?? Were they raised by wolves? How can you be that god damned inconsiderate. This really sets me off at work, because there is nothing better than slipping out for a shitbreak and getting paid to poop. There is only one stall in the washroom so you have no other choice than to flush somebody elses mess. This happens far to often, and you can't even enjoy your poo. It was even worse when I worked at the Delta, and the washroom was reserved for staff only, how could you do that to your fellow co-workers?? I actually put up a sign admonishing the shit bandit, and thankfully after that it stopped. I assume these shit bandits flush the toilet at home, or are these people like the ones on Hoarders that just let it pile up. It takes two seconds to flush your shit, you've done it a million times in your life, do it in a public washroom for Christs sake. Even if you're one of these wacky germophobes you can wash your hands immediately after you touch the flusher. Anyone who is caught being a shit bandit should be either thrown in jail or forced to stand on a busy street corner ringing a bell with a big placard saying "I force others to flush my turds" and be exposed for the dirtbags that they are.

Boss Hog's Smokin' Chophouse

Wow. This was the best food I have eaten in a long time. Me and a couple of guys from work have started a Wednesday tradition where we go out and eat somewhere different. Five Guys Burgers and Fries was the first spot, then we went to Mary Brown's, followed by The Early Bird. The next stop on our tour was set to be Boss Hog's, but the busy holiday season derailed that.  We've been talking about it for a couple of weeks now, getting each other hyped up, simply saying "B. Hog's" when we passed each other at work, texting each other about Pulled Pork, the whole 9. Needless to say it lived up to our lofty standards. Don't get me wrong the meals we had at those other spots were really good, but Boss Hog's was a cut above.

This was my buddy Greg aka GRGILL's app, stuffed corn bread. He was nice enough to let me to have a bite and to pretty much lick up the plate. This was amazing, it was cornbread with bacon, corn and smothered in some manner of nacho cheese sauce. Amazing! I'll have to order my own next time I go, and believe you me there will be a next time.

This was my meal. 1/3 of a rack of ribs, a 1/2 pound of pulled pork, a side of Mac & Cheese and a piece of cornbread. Everything about this was amazing. The ribs fell off the bones and the pulled pork was like butter. I decided to kick my Mac & Cheese up a notch.

I mixed in my pulled pork with my Mac & Cheese and gave it a few dashes of Hot Sauce (which by the way was pretty fucking spicy) The is was the highlight of my meal. I could have eaten a whole plate of just that. Me and that troublemaker Bobby B split another half rack of ribs, which I didn't even touch, but I have with me as left-overs. There is no doubt in my mind that I will be back.

We didn't really discuss what our next stop is going to be. I suggested Hot Italian Sandwiches of York St. I've been there before and it is very, very good. Wherever we go next I'll let you, my 4 readers of this blog know how it went.

Review: Oxford and Hyde Park Popeye's

It was a bleary 4/20 when I was on the trusty 19 Oakridge on the way to work. Next to a vacant lot at the corner of Oxford and Hyde Park there was a sign announcing that a Popeye's was coming soon. I proclaimed on Facebook that this was a 4/20 miracle! Well this sign sat next to a vacant concrete block for months...Months! before there was any sign of construction, finally this fall construction started, and the grand opening was right before Christmas. I finally went today, and I hate to say this but it was kind of "meh"

Things started off kind of sour when they wouldn't accept my coupon. Fair enough the coupon said it was only good at the other locations in the city and not this one. I wasn't about to make a stink about it because that aint my style. Perhaps it was the time of day I went (2:30 in the afternoon), maybe it was because I wasn't stoned, but I wasn't too impressed. I ordered my usual, 4 piece Spicy with Fries. My main beef was everything I ordered had clearly been sitting under the heat lamp since the lunch hour rush. One of my pieces of chicken had some kind of tumour on it, that being said I still ate it all. I'm willing to give this location another chance, because it's still Popeye's and it's still delicious. This location is the #2 location in town. The best being Wellington and Southdale, the worst being Dundas and Clarke in shitty east London. You have to strap on a bullet proof vest and take a 2 Dundas bus (ew) to Argyle Mall (double ew), they gave me mild instead of Spicy, which was a bit of a piss off.

I'm going to Boss Hog's Smokin' Chop House with some boys from work tomorrow, so I will post a review on that. I'm drinking tonight so I might post later on, my twitter feed should be interesting too, follow me @didhenley

Humour

I'd like to think that one of my best qualities is my sense of humour.  High Brow or Low Brow, most things make me laugh.  My all time favourite example of low-brown humour is @the_ironsheik especially when he incorporates old wrestlers from the 80's and 90's in his rants.  Rumour has it that it's not actually The Sheik who writes these tweets, even if it isn't, it is still hilarious.  Click the link bellow for one of the funniest twitter conversations I have ever seen.

The Sheik vs. Michael Ian Black

I told you it was low brow...but I still cried myself laughing, "You were born from kamala ass" is my favourite part

McDonald's Power Rankings - London, Ontario edition

I love McDonald's. I have since I was a kid, I've seen Super Size Me, I've seen what all the negative fucks say about the "calories" and "fat", and "if you eat it too much you'll die" but I don't care. I'd say a good 85% of the time I get the exact same thing a Big Mac combo with a Sprite. It's been my go-to McD's choice since Grade 5. I'll switch and get the other sandwiches from time to time, never the Filet-O-Fish though, Fuck the Filet-o Fish. Two of my favourite follows on Twitter @Archizuber and @ryantologist frequently talk about the Power Rankings of McDonald's in Toronto, which got me thinking about how I'd rate the McDonald's here in London. Me and Killer @ryanbourdeau thought once about visiting every McDonald's in town to write a review, but we never got around to it, and he has moved to Kingston. We did make it to a few though. Without further ado here is my current Top 3 and Bottom 3 of McDonald's in London

 TOP 3

1. Wonderland & Oxford

 This location was actually the first McDonald's in Canada. The actual location looks like one from the 60's and there is some cool memorabilia, pictures and shit inside this location. The line-up situation was well managed, I've only been to this location a few times, but it's always been a good experience.


2. Wharncliffe & Baseline

When I came and visited family in London growing up we always went to this McDonald's so this is a bit of a nostalgia vote. McDonald's uses London as a test market for new menu items. I had a McDonalds pizza (aside: McDonald's pizza was amazing) and a McFlurry here before it was available in all stores.

3. Wellington and Commissioners

This is the first time I've seen a fireplace in a McDonalds. Excellent sauce distribution on my Big Mac. I should go to this one more often.

BOTTOM 3

1. Dundas and Richmond

Worst McDonald's in all of Canada. Thankfully there is nothing wrong with the food, it has everything to do with the clientele. Every skid in London frequents Dundas and Richmond, standing around waiting for the bus hacking darts, pill sales going on the regular. It truly is the armpit of the city, however its where my bank is and it's been the most convenient McDonald's for me to go since I've lived downtown (going on 7 years!) There is always a line-up so you have to stand there in line judging everyone around you. People ask you for money, teen mothers are feeding their brood of most likely unfortunately named offspring. The one cashier that has been there forever truly hates her life. Her voice grizzled from years of smoking darts. I always have straight forward orders, but she has little patience for others who take forever then order dumb shit with modifiers. This location has a walk up window, so whenever someone presses that button it lets off a god-awful noise. Then you have to sit there and eat, you're satisfied with the food, but depressed about the atmosphere. I might actually write a full post one day about how much I hate the Dundas and Richmond McDonalds.

2. Wharncliffe and Oxford

It pains me to put this location on this list. It started with so much promise, I lived a 3 minute walk to this place when it opened just before my 2nd year at UWO. Me and my room-mates ate here all the time, this was in the days of the $3.99 meal of the day. Plus we had the Hockey Hero Sandwich at this location, that has kind of gone down as folklore to me and my old room-mates, we still talk about that night to this day. All that being said this location has gone to complete shit, extremely unorganized staff, the line up situation is horrific, it's kind of a free for all. I'll never, ever give staff at a fast food restaurant (or any waiter and a normal restaurant) shit for anything, even if they completely fuck up, but they suck big time here. They used to let you walk through the drive-thru back in the day, but they put the kybosh on that so that's more points deducted.

3. Hyde Park Wal-Mart

Wal-Mart McDonald's are the worst. a) you're in Wal-Mart that's depressing enough and b) they don't have a full menu there. I work right beside the massive Wal-Mart off Fanshawe Park road, so I go there all the time for lunch, so I have been to this location quite a bit. The pickle distribution on the Big Mac is awful, they have scaled back to 1 pickle, I have to ask those assholes for extra pickles each time. They never have ice cream available, I don't always get it but I do enjoy a McCone on a warm day, who doesn't? Plus when you use a coupon they always keep it, most McDonald's give it back to you so you can use it again.

Well that was a lot of words spilled out about McDonald's. This blog is a work in progress to say the least, hope you enjoyed the post, and I'll be posting more dumb shit soon.