Just in time for the playoffs!!! It's the official Jack Armstrong Drinking Game... instead of a whole new post I'll just edit this one. Jack was really fired up about the officiating last year, I don't imagine it'll change this year.
LET'S GO RAPTORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TAKE ONE DRINK IF:
Jack says:
"Hellloooooooooooooooooooo!" - Always said during the replay of a massive drunk... take an extra drink if he says "Hellloooooooooooooooo" while being aroused by the Raptors Dance Pak
"Matty D!" - He always refers to Matt Devlin as "Matty D!"
"MGD!!!!" or "BAH-CA-DI!!"- Gotta get those Sponsorship plugs in.
"GET THAT GAH-BAGE OUTTA HERE!!" Extra drink if he says "no, no, no, no, no, no" before GET THAT GAH-BAGE OUTTA HERE!
Describes the Ball as a "Rock"
Gets mad at a call - Jack is a Raptors homer and I have absolutely no problem with that, being an NBA referee is a very difficult job, but that doesn't mean they don't fuck up... A LOT. Jack doesn't take refereeing bullshit laying down.
Concedes a good call - As much as Jack gets mad at the refs, he'll begrudgingly acknowledge a good call.
Goes off Topic/Non Basketball or Game related - This happens more often than not, he'll go on a tangent about Swiffer Sweepers, or a TV show. You must drink 2 drinks if he goes off-topic about booze.
Refers to coaching at Niagara or Western New York in general - Self Explanatory.
Matty D says a 3 pointer is from another city - Chuck Swirsky did this all the time, Matty D pulls it out on special occasions - you must FINISH your drink if he says the city that you are currently in. (I've tweeted at him to say from Hamilton a bunch of times).
Overstimulated Jack - This is a judgement call for you and your friends. He usually raises his voice a few octaves, generally leading into a commercial or after a time-out when the Raptors have gone on a run. *NEW WRINKLE* Just like how there are flagrant 1 and flagrant 2 fouls, there is now overstimulated 1 and overstimulated 2, again it's a judgment call on what a 1 or a 2 would be... obviously a 2 requires 2 drinks.
When the Raptors are losing he says the are STUCK points
JACKSIMILIES - Jacksimilies are when he makes a random reference "sometimes you're the nail, sometimes you're the hammer" "sometimes you're the peacock, sometimes you're the duster" and so on and so forth
Camera cuts to Chuck Hayes on the bench with a pained expression.
TAKE TWO DRINKS IF:
Jack Sings - Now that the holiday season has come and gone, there is less Jack singing (he always sang "Happy Hooooolidaaaays" when Matty D was describing some Christmas ticket deal) but Jack has been known to break into song on other occasions.
Tom Sterner Intense Interview - When assistant coach Tom Sterner does an interview before the start of the second half it feels like he is staring right through the TV and into my soul.
FINISH YOUR DRINK IF:
Jack says "A little pepperoni! A little saus-seech!" - In years past the Raptors had a promotion where if they scored over 100 points and won everyone in the crowd would get a slice of pizza, the crowd started chanting "PI-ZZA!" instead of "DE-FENSE" when it was close. When they broke 100 Jack ALWAYS said "A little pepperoni! A little saus-seech!". Earlier in the season he did say that he went off topic (already a drink) talking about pizza, and yes he said "A little pepperoni! A little sau-seech!" I was thrilled.
One of Greg Stiemsma, Lucas "Bebe" Nogueira or Bruno Caboclo enter the game.
Tyler "The White Mamba" Hansbrough hits a 3 pointer - Last week he hit his first 3 in his 6 year career, it's a special occasion if that happens.
If they ever refer to Rod Black's mustache - Ol' Rod hasn't had a duster in years but he rocked that look back in the day.
If Jack ever refers to the Big V pharmacy when talking about Jonas Valanciunas. This will likely never happen so not only do you have to finish your drink but you have to open another drink and chug it.
1 comment:
How can you possibly like these assholes... They're all throwbacks to the 80's
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