Big Brother Canada Week 5 thoughts

I couldn't find a good photoshop picture of Suzette so I picked what celebrity she resembled the most, and that would be Grimace 

Finally, Suzette is gone.  I have disliked her since day one, and I am glad the entire house has felt the same way.  Unless your name is Stone Cold Steve Austin you have absolutely no business saying "Hellll yeeahhhh", and her other catch phrase "Hey boyzzzzzzzzz" was just as horrible.  Basically what Emmett said at the POV ceremony and throughout his diary room sessions is exactly what I felt.  Whining the whole time about missing your family and making everyone try to feel sorry for you is the last thing you should do in the Big Brother house.  I don't have kids, or a significant other so I don't know what that would be like to be separated from them, but she knew exactly what she was getting into when she auditioned for, and for some god forsaken reason got chosen to be on the show.  That being said, her exit interview with Scary Spice Arisa Cox, was the most genuine, and she did hit the nail on the head when she said my boy Peter was running the show.

My boy Peter is definitely running the show.  That may be the only correct thing Suzette has said in her entire life.  Don't get me wrong, I kind of think Peter is a loser too, the way he shouts in the diary room is as annoying as fuck, plus, he had the chance to eat steak and lobster and he opted for a baked potato?? What the fuck is the matter with you?!?!?  He probably didn't even put butter and sour cream on it.  I can accept making the Shield sign when you're making your eviction vote, but the fucking elastic you got from Liza too?? You should be ashamed of yourself, and you will feel shame once you go back and watch all the episodes.  That being said, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that The Shield is going to be the final 2. Alec already winning $10K helps Peter's chances of winning the whole thing.  Speaking of the Shield, Alec, what's with the Miami Marlins gear? Nobody is wearing sports gear in the house, not even from the NHL but he asks for Miami Marlins stuff and he gets it?? Disgusting, I am going to enjoy Jose Reyes, Mark Buerhle and Josh Johnson this season, Go Jays! (PS I am going to have my first of many Jays blogs posted on Opening Day this Tuesday).  That whole Diary Room scene where Alec and Peter were imitating each other was hilarious, and good on Alec for calling him out for screaming in the DR.  The Shield is good this week, considering Topaz won HOH and Alec is closely aligned with her, but more on that later.

Peter may be my choice to win, but Andrew has emerged as my favourite house guest, and I would be thrilled for him to prove me wrong and win the entire game.  Andrew is a Newfie, and even though I live in London Ontario and was born and raised in Hamilton I still consider myself somewhat of a Newfie.  My grandfather fought in World War Two in the Royal Newfoundland Regiment (Newfoundland wasn't a part of Canada then, but you knew that), and he met my grandma during the war in England, and after the war, as a 19 year old war bride she moved to Newfoundland.  My Mom and my aunt and uncles were all born in Newfoundland, so I identify with Newfiedom.  Andrew is hilarious, his bromance with AJ had been one of the highlights this season for me.  As far as AJ is concerned I have kind of grown to like him too, although I find him speaking in the third person to be revolting.  Andrew and AJ are older perverts and that is exactly what I would be in a house full of women in their 20's.  Topaz, Talla and especially Jillian are all attractive, and AJ oogling them is exactly what I would be doing if I was in his position.  I think Andrew and AJ can float to safety for the next few weeks. 

So Sleeping Beauty won HOH, I was really rooting for Talla to win, however I don't know what the hell she would have done with it.  With Topaz winning, we know that Gary and Alec are safe for sure, and if Alec is safe, Peter is safe.  If they had any brains whatsoever they would go after Emmett and Jillian.  Speaking of Emmett and Jillian I thought their random make-out session during the POV competition was one of the worst things to ever happen in the history of Big Brother, and that includes living through two seasons of Brenden and Rachel. Emmett and Jillian are very good players, Gary has already made a power move in this game, and I think he will influence Topaz to make one this week, that being said, she could go after Alec and Peter on his advice, and then I'll have egg on my face.  I predict Jillian and Emmett are going to go on the block, and Emmett is going to be the first member of the jury house.

Ugh, just as I was finishing this blog, I check my Facebook and Big Brother announces yet another twist.  What the fuck does this mean anyway??  Turns out there is going to be a surprise eviction,  for Christ's sakes enough with the fucking twists already.  PS that's Sean "Mr. Sparkle" Markle's update above that message, he banned me from Facebook and blocked me on Twitter for a while because along with his friend Greg McGill we bashed his tweets pretty good.  I do love his tweets, however and was hurt when I was banned.  I'm off track again....I don't know what in the blue fuck is going to happen now, hopefully Emmett is still gone.

That's it for my Big Brother thoughts this week, like I mentioned earlier I am going to have a Blue Jays post coming on Tuesday and as usual my Big Brother thoughts next Thursday or Friday.  Stay tuned!!

Big Brother Canada Week 4 thoughts

I am thrilled with what transpired tonight on Big Brother last night, as far as double evictions go you can't get much better.  First Liza, who was the second evicted, I really didn't hate her as much as the rest of the house did, but I am glad she is gone now because she was distracting my boy Peter's game, plus she looks like Jerry Seinfeld's illegitimate daughter.  Her assessment of her game when she was interviewed by Scary Spice Arisa Cox was spot on, she perhaps played one of the worst games in Big Brother history.  I was reading some of the recaps of the live feeds and Gary said this about Liza "she'll suck, she'll fuck, she's a sex worker, that's the twist".  That might be a little (actually very) harsh, but she did seem to cozy up with a lot of the guys.  Liza could have done a hell of a lot better than she did but she let her ridiculous relationship with Tom get in the way.  Speaking of Canada's biggest douchebag, I am so glad that prick is gone. He honestly thought he was King Shit of Turd Island.  Far to emotional and such a fucking hot head, of course he revealed the Quarttro alliance to Liza because he was pissed off at them, the guy couldn't listen to reason.  I give full credit to The Shield for orchestrating this move, and for getting Emmett to go along with it.  Alec nailed it on the head on the Wednesday episode when he said something like "I'm trying to appeal to the few brain cells he has".  Speaking of Alec.....

Holy fuck bud, you'd think someone told you your entire family was murdered and your dog got run over.  What Tom did wasn't cool and all, but why all the waterworks??  I'm guessing if you're reading this you know what happened, but for those who don't Tom whipped open the shower door when Alec was in it and he is upset that his wiener got exposed on TV.  I would be a bit embarrassed and upset too if it happened to me, but I would get over it quickly, maybe have a laugh about it, but apparently he was crying actual tears for the better part of the afternoon about it.  That being said it was still, pardon the pun, a dick move on Tom's part.  I heard that some of the European Big Brothers are, uh, very "European" about nudity, and there is co-ed open showers, where everyone is buck nekkid together like it's no big deal.  That's not the case in the Canadian or American version, and there is some privacy, nobody can watch you drop a deuce on the live feeds.  Alec overreacted big time though, the tears and drama were not necessary.

Now that two of the biggest threats are out of the house, things are looking rosy for my boy Peter and the Shield alliance.  I think now their main competition is Emmett, he's a very strong player, and now he doesn't have that hot head Tom holding him back.   Right now I think there is a strong alliance of four with Peter, Alec, Topaz and Gary, and with those numbers they'd be smart to pick off Emmett and Jillian as soon as they can. As for the rest of the house, I'm starting to like the AJ-Andrew old man bromance, mainly because as someone who is almost 31 years old, I'd be considered an old man on the show if I were on, even though I honestly still feel like I'm 21 (being single, having no kids and being broke all the damned time helps with that)  AJ is still annoying though, but I am starting to like Andrew, hopefully he can stick around for a bit. 

No HOH was decided last night, and I haven't read any spoilers yet on who wins, but despite who wins I am gonna say Suzette is the next to get the boot.  I watched After Dark for a bit last night and the consensus is that they're doing her a favour by voting her out next.  After the next eviction the remaining 9 houses guests will make up the final 2 and the jury house, Suzette has a young family, there is very little chance of her actually winning the game, so they think she should go back to her family rather spend the next 2 months in the jury house away from her kids.  Plus, if it wasn't for the stupid twist, she would have been out the door last week.

Well that's it for me this week.  I got called into work last night, so our trip to Tony Roma's for ribs was postponed, I am not sure when our next food club meeting will be, but as soon as there is one I'll post a review.  Until then give me a follow on twitter @didhenley or leave a comment, I really want to know who the German is that reads this.  I look at my stats and there is over 20 views last week from Germany! 

I hate Alex Trebek

I Google Image searched 'I hate Trebek' and this creepy topless selfie is what I pulled up

Is there a bigger asshole on TV than Alex Trebek? Fuck I can't stand that guy.  Jeopardy! is one of my all time favourite TV shows, and it is a lifelong dream of mine to appear on the show.  My head is chock full of so much useless facts and knowledge that I think I have a good shot of winning.  At UWO me and one of my room-mates Joe would have nightly Jeopardy! challenges where we would keep track of our correct answers, I mopped the floor with him every night.  The other boys would join in from time to time but they didn't stand a chance.  We even had a Jeopardy! Playstation game, and I am pretty sure I hold the most points ever recorded in that game.  (aside: that's the only video game I have ever been good at in my life).  Alex Trebek has been the host of Jeopardy! damn near 30 years. and I for one think it's 30 years too much.  He is such a smug, obnoxious, holier than thou asshole, and I am ashamed to say that he is a Canadian.  Legend has it Dr. Stompin' Tom Connors wrote "Sudbury Saturday Night" to make people from Sudbury feel better knowing that their town gave birth to one of the biggest douchebags the world has ever known.  You may be asking, why such the hate?  Well first and foremost it is the horrible accents/impressions he does.  Tonight's episode was the last straw and is what prompted me to write this blog.  One of the categories was about Queens, New York and he read all the questions in quite possibly the worst New York accent of all time.  It's one thing when there is a question about Arnold Schwarzenegger and he throws out a terrible Arnie voice, it's another to read a whole category as a greasy Frenchman, as the worst Southern Belle ever, or a shitty Russian.  Kids in Grade 9 drama class can pull off better accents. Just stick to the god damned script and read the questions like a normal human being.  Whoever told Trebek he does a good job at accents should be arrested immediately.  Also, have you ever met a more condescending prick in your entire life??  Heaven forbid you don't pronounce something correctly, Trebek is all over you like a fly on shit. When you have a wrong answer in a Daily Double he is so fake and insincere when he tells those nerds they're wrong.  Or how about when nobody guesses the correct answer (or I guess on Jeopardy! it's guessing the correct question...) he give them the right answer like he actually knew it all along and he wasn't just reading it from his cue cards.  I would have to say the worst part of Jeopardy! has to be the contestant interviews.  90% of the people interviewed are about as interesting as Buzz Killington from Family Guy.

Who would like to hear a story about a bridge??

Seriously, some of the stuff these people come up with make me want to vomit.  Obviously most contestants on Jeopardy! are giant nerds, so they go on about their Civil War re-enactment societies, or about their Magic Card collections.  Some of these dorks even tell the story about the time they let lived on the wild side and went to a Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca.  Anyways, Trebek makes these awkward conversations 100 times worse with his general awfulness and horrific jokes.  Mind you, if I ever got on Jeopardy! I would probably just talk about this blog and my cats.  The contestant interviews should cease immediately, I'm sure the contestants don't even like to do them.  Anyways, Trebek has thankfully hinted at retirement, but I think whoever ends up being the new host will earn just as much of my scorn.

In conclusion..................

Big Brother Canada Week 3 thoughts

Canada fucked up.  We fucked up when that toupee wearing douchebag Stephen Harper got elected Prime Minister, and we fucked up when we voted to keep shitty Suzette in the Big Brother Canada house.  Keep in mind I voted for neither.  Mind you we weren't given much of a choice between the King of the Floaters AJ and Suzette, the Queen of the Harpies. Ugh, I can't stand Suzette, not because she is fat (I'm fat too, I can't hate for that) or she's aboriginal, just she is so fucking annoying, she can barely string a sentence together, is a Deathcon 5 floater and offers nothing to the game.  It was in the houses best interest and the nations best interest to see her sent packing, that being said Fuck Tom.  I'm glad his HOH got screwed.  I think the producers were expecting for Gary to stay on the block, and they thought Canada would vote to keep him.  I really hope they keep these ridiculous "twists" to a minimum the rest of the season.  I think the American version has gone overboard with twists the last few seasons, Pandora's Box, Coup d'Etats, fuck off let the players play.

As for this weeks eviction, I kind of feel bad for Aneal.  I didn't really care much for him as a player, and won't miss him but the way he left was kind of shitty.  Plus he looks like Steve Urkel.  I think the house should've taken the opportunity to show AJ the door, the guy the biggest floater since Kathy on BB13, and the whole schtick where he talks in the 3rd person is appalling.  It's probably a good thing he doesn't say a thing on the broadcasts, lets keep it that way.

As far as the rest of the house is concerned, Peter is still my favourite to win it all, if the Shield had any balls at all they'd make a power move and get rid of Tom.  The sooner the better.  Tom is a douchebag of the highest order, the way he stood on the balcony in front of the HOH room with his arms extended like he owned the fucking place made me barf.  Obviously everyone in the house is sick of his act too and they have the votes to get rid of him.  Perhaps Emmett will turn his back on Tom during his HOH exceeeppptt................................

Emmett is a regular 4-Middle cheater (only 2 people might get that joke, you see when I was in residence at UWO, we had a dodge ball tournament and those bastards on 4-Middle cheated, I'll never forgive them).  During the stupid Bumble Bee competition last night the house guests weren't allowed to carry the balls in their hand (easy there, Gary).  But as the picture shows above Emmett clearly did break the rules, during the competition I noticed Liza and Jillian carrying the balls as well.  It looks like the shit has hit the fan, the producers have acknowledged that Emmett cheated, and they have turned off the live feeds while shit gets sorted out.  They posted this on their Facebook page earlier.

My theory is that they're re-doing the competition and there will be a new HOH, perhaps as punishment they won't allow Emmett to participate in it, but as I said earlier I noticed others were were carrying the balls too.  All I can say is there is no way shit like this would have gone down on Julie Chen's watch.  On a aside I think Arisa Cox is doing a decent job hosting but.......enough.......with.......the dramatic...........long...........................................pauses.  My beloved Julie Chen went through her growing pains at first, she is called the Chenbot for a reason, but has since come into her own.

As for my predictions it's kind of hard to make them not knowing who the HOH is.  (PS I was right with my nomination predictions last week!)  I am gonna keep it safe and say AJ and Suzette will get nominated this week, and as for the double eviction I say Suzette and Tom are gonna peace out.  Tom is a good villain though, I see the producers doing what they can do to keep him around as the boy you love to hate.

As always give me a follow on Twitter, @didhenley and leave a comment!  Call me a blithering idiot if you want but leave one none the less!

What happened to the Rogers Ginge?

As readers of this blog know a couple of months ago I compared the two most annoying Dad's in TV commercial history, the Rogers Ginge and that awful Canadian Tire Guy.  Apparently the suit-dicks at Rogers have nothing better to do but scour the internet and in the latest commercial the Rogers Ginge (let's call him Dirk) has been given the heave-ho!  They must've read my blog and decided enough is enough, we can no longer give this loser air time.  But, after watching the new commercial I have to think it's not Dirks fault he was such a toolbag, he was driven to insanity by his bitchy wife.  I think ol' Dirk has come to his senses and hit the road.  In the latest crappy Rogers commercial that airs 1000 times a night, it is the same wife, but the Roger Ginge has been replaced.  I feel bad for this new guy, the wife goes out of her way to embarrass him in front of her friends.  Calling him out for watching "The Real Women of Nantucket" and figure skating, she isn't even doing it in a joking way, she is just straight up bitch.  Let the man enjoy his Real Women of Nantucket, that stuff isn't my cup of tea, but I've watched some pretty suspect programming over the years, we had OC viewing parties in University (first season only, which according to Matt Logue was a "work of art"), and I wasn't put on point about it in front of a group of people I just met.

As much as Dirk is a fucking dork, his wife is a real mean person.  Remember when the wife and daughter got home and kicked Dirk and his son out of the comfy chairs to an obstructed view on the couch of a movie that they were watching peacefully before they barged in.  Plus she threw a handful of popcorn at him when he simply wanted to get the movie going, I bet you that isn't the only time she threw stuff at him in a fit of rage.  He lived such a miserable life that his stupid Roger NextBox remote that let him pause and start programs on different TVs caused him such joy, it was the happiest the poor bastard has been in years.

In closing, I take back all the mean things I said about Dirk the Rogers Ginge, you go enjoy single life let the new guy live in misery.  The Canadian Tire Guy will always be the worst Dad in Canadian commercial history.

Big Brother Canada Musings

I love Big Brother, there isn't that many TV shows that I watch let alone can't miss.  I look forward every summer to watching the American version, and I was really pumped to find out there was going to finally be a Canadian version.  I sent in a half-assed audition tape, but despite saying I was going to go to the open auditions in Toronto, I got drunk the night before and didn't get out of bed until 1 pm.  I was a little nervous about the show going in, don't get me wrong I'm a proud Canadian, but we tend to half-ass Canadian versions of shows.  There has been some minor production issues, and the host Arisa Cox is certainly no Julie Chen, but so far Big Brother Canada has been just as good as any American season.  In fact I think it has been more pure than the recent American ones.  If I'm not mistaken most of the American Houseguests are found through casting agencies, and they are there to further some non-existent career.  Also they've been too obsessed with bringing back previous Houseguests the last two seasons.  Let's be real these Canadian Houseguests aren't going to be famous when they leave, I'm sure within a couple of years Tom and Emmett are gonna be a feature guest at some shitty night club opening, or they will be signing autographs at some used card dealership somewhere awful like Walkerton.  So far this season, I've developed some fairly strong opinions on the Houseguests, which I'll share with you, I plan on having a weekly recap written after the Thursday episode.  

My Pick to Win: Peter

It usually takes me a week or two to make my winner pick.  I was actually thinking Peter was gonna win right from the first episode, and I have now locked it in.  He reminds me a lot of Dan who won a few years back and should have won last year, he even yells in the Diary Room like Dan instead of talking like a normal human being.  "The Shield" alliance is similar to "The Renegades" and like the Renegades, The Shield will be Final 2, with Alec playing the role of Memphis.  I really don't like the other two people in their "Quartro" alliance, Tom is a bit of a dick head and Emmett wears a cowboy hat in public like that's actually a good look.  You're from Nova Scotia bud not the fucking Wild West.  Peter and Alec are doing the smart thing by stringing them along while they get rid of the floaters.  They can't hold the Brigades jock strap however.  The Brigade was by far my favouite alliance in Big Brother history.

Enzo aka The Meow Meow is my all time favourite houseguest, no one else has come close.  The best part of last season was when the Brigade came on and gave a scathing review of the Quack Pack.  Anyways unlike the Brigade who for the most part stuck together until the end, I can see the Quartro alliance fall apart, probably not for a couple of weeks but eventually.  

I think Aneal is gonna be a bit of a wildcard for the next couple of weeks, I really don't like him too much, the bowtie looks ridiculous, and I really hated his whole cry baby act, it was cringe worthy.  At least Apu was sincere with his tears when he sang that he, in fact, needs the Kwik-E-Mart.  But he is a smart player, and he is pretty good at shit disturbing.  I think he'd be smart to get on board with the Quartro, and eliminate the dead weight.

Speaking of dead weight, or just weight in general, Suzette is one of my least favourite characters so far.  She can barely string a coherent sentence together, and she hosts a radio show??  Her first HOH was a sham.  Thankfully she is amongst the shunned that never gets any airtime.  Joining that group of floaters is Topaz, Andrew and AJ, have the showed an AJ diary room yet this season?  I know it's hard to fit 24/7 footage into 3 hours worth of shows a week, but christ it's like he isn't even there.  Out of these floaters I can see Andrew emerging as a potential power player shortly, plus he is from Newfoundland, who doesn't like Newfies??

You can't talk about this season of Big Brother Canada without bringing up Gary Glitter.  My opinion shifts on him, he can be incredibly annoying, but he is one of the few houseguests who have actually made me laugh out loud.  It killed me when he said his foot was shaking like he had Parkinson's (yes I know I am going to hell for laughing about that)  I'm not sure why the token gay is always so fabulous and flamboyant, playing up to all the stereotypes.  I wonder if he is going to volunteer to be voted out, thinking he will come back in the house with super powers like Lawon did a couple of seasons ago.  I think Gary is a good player, has proven himself in the competitions, with that I can see him being a target as soon as this week, because I think it's obvious the new HOH Tom wants him out of the game. 

Is it just me or does Liza look like a cartoon fish?  (credit goes to people on the Suvivor Sucks message board for that comparison and Apu and Aneal)  As for the rest of the houseguests, I find the whole showmance thing insufferable.  Topaz' only line this season has been "we call it a cuddlemance" and they air that line over and over during the commercials for the show, ugh it makes me cringe each time.  I think the Bromance will end up coming before the Showmance, and Tom, Emmett and Alec will be quick to stick the knife in Liza's, Jillian's or Topaz' back.  I think if the girls were smart they'd form their own Girl Power alliance and make the first move against the Quartro. 

Talla is my favourite amongst the women, she reminds me so much of someone I used to with at the Delta, except hopefully the whole farting thing.  I have gotten into some pretty rough sleeping patterns lately so I am usually awake when Big Brother After Dark comes on at 2am, and Talla is really like that all the time, she certainly doesn't play it up for the cameras.  To be honest the live feeds are usually boring as all fuck, I can't believe people pay for the American ones.  That is until a huge fight happens, and that is bound to happen soon.

So that 's it for my thoughts on the first couple of weeks of Big Brother Canada, like I said I'll try and do a weekly recap each week.  I'll also use this space to make my predictions before I read the spoilers (don't worry I won't post spoilers).  This week I think Gary and Suzette will be nominated, with Suzette going home.  I annoy my few twitter followers with a ton of Big Brother tweets, so follow me @didhenley to get in on that action.  Leave some comments too, I want to know who the person from Germany is who reads this.

P.S.  If you are into Spoilers head on over to OnlineBigBrother.com they also provide a nice recap of what is going on during the live feeds along with pictures and videos.

Review: King of the Pigs

Long Live the King!  After a couple of weeks of hype, we finally made our latest stop on our culinary tour of London at the King of the Pigs.  For the first time there was girls on our trip! All that meant was that I had to watch my table manners, and keep the poop and blue waffle jokes to a minimum.  There really wasn't much conversation during dinner because we were all completely focused on the deliciousness in front of us.  When we were creeping the menu online they had different Meals for 4 or 2 that had whole chickens, ribs, fries salad, and we planned on ordering that, but when we got there that wasn't an option on the menu so we all got individual meals.  When I went to the King of the Pigs years ago it was this little hole in the wall in East London with a bunch of old Portuguese guys (or as my Uncle Pat says Portu-goose) hanging out watching soccer, I think they were a little pissed off that us Newfies were invading their hang out.  Since then it's undergone some renovations and looks a lot nicer, but these greasy old Portuguese guys remain. Thankfully the food was just as good as I remember.

The meal started off with fresh bread and black olives.  The bread was awesome, it could because I was starving and that was the first thing I ate all day, but you could tell it was fresh.  As for the olives, I wasn't sure if I liked them or not and hesitated at first, but hey it turns out I like black olives, how about that.  I ordered the chicken and back ribs, as seen above.  The best part about this meal is there was not one vegetable to be seen.  The fries were crispy and hot, lots of places half ass their fries, but not KOTP, plus they had malt vinegar on the table which was a welcome bonus.  Despite being called the King of the Pigs the chicken was the star of this meal.  Don't get me wrong the ribs were good, but I have definitely had better.  I'm a bit of a rib snob because my Mom makes the best ribs in the world, so any other ribs are mere mortals.  There is your standard BBQ sauce on the ribs but the sauce on the chicken was incredible, I would bathe in this sauce if need be.  I'm at a loss at describing it, it must've been covered it olive oil and some magical dry rub was put on it.  Next time I go I am just going to get the chicken and fries.  The prices are extremely reasonable too, Bobby ordered a Chipotle chicken sandwich and fries, and it was $8 (tax included)!  A Big Mac combo sets you back $8.12 at McDonald's (yes I know the exact price with taxes for a Big Mac combo) 

BONUS REVIEW!:  After dinner we went to Boston Pizza for a few drinks and dessert and to watch the Leafs (literally) kick the snot out of the woe-begotten Sens.  For a chain Boston Pizza has really good food, I've never had a bad meal there.  Despite my size and love for food believe it or not I am not a huge dessert guy, I would choose to  have 2 dinners as opposed to a dinner and dessert.  Unfortunately for me, too much dairy makes me bloated and farty, but I do love ice cream.  This panookie from Boston Pizza was great, it was a giant warm chocolate chip cookie (tasted like a Pillsbury one) with a scoop of vanilla ice cream with some chocolate and caramel drizzled on it.  It was very good, however taking a big swig of beer right after eating ice cream is the grossest thing ever.  The Leafs-Sens game was pretty entertaining, watching that wuss on the Sens getting knocked the fuck out by Frazer McLaren in a room full of people was pretty awesome.  You don't see knock outs like that in the UFC most of the time. 

Well that's it for another review, we have a few ideas for our next stop, we're going to all you can eat pancakes at the Golden Griddle, I've never been to Tony Roma's apparently the ribs there are really good.  The Works and Relish are on the list too.  Stay tuned later tonight (or tomorrow) for my first weekly Big Brother Canada review. 

Some NHL thoughts

Believe it or not the NHL has almost reached it's midway point in this shortened season, and if the season ended right now the Leafs would be in the playoffs!  The Leafs making the playoffs actually presents somewhat of a crisis for me, I tend to work evenings, and if I have work during a Game 7 of a Leafs playoff series I will lose my shit. This hasn't been a problem for me in the last 9 years (ugh), I guess I am going to have to get that diarrhea disease I said I had to get out of work when I worked at the GoodLife call centre.  Speaking of hell, I always liked getting my stats for the day and finding out I took over 25 minutes worth of shit breaks hahahahaha.  Anyways back to hockey, I have to say I am enjoying the way the Leafs are playing this year, mind you they've had some disaster games but who hasn't?  The goaltending has been spotty at times but both James "Optimus Reim" Reimer and "Big" Ben Scrivens have both had great games, and like I said it my first hockey post, if the Leafs can get consistent goaltending they'll be playoff bound.

One of the main reason for the Leafs being in a playoff position is London Ontario's own and former London Knight Nazem Kadri.  (kudos to TheScore for that Naz as Nas pic, lord knows I'm not that clever).  The guy has been lights out this year, his hat trick last night against the Islanders was a thing of beauty.  I've been on the Kadri bandwagon since his London Knights days, the way that Ron "Wrong" Wilson and Brian Burke treated him should be amongst the main reasons neither is employed with the organization anymore.  Even Dallas "Do you want a bus ride to Petrolia or a cab ride to the Air Canada Centre" Eakins calling him fat at the start of Toronto Marlies training camp is laughable and an example of the clubs shitty handling of him.  Some might argue all this tough love is the reason he's doing so well, I argue that you need your head examined and he should have been on the team all last year.  The only good thing Pierre McGuire has said in his entire life was when he said Naz had "nifty mittens" after a particularly impressive shoot out goal a couple of seasons back.  All this playing on a line with this guy...

The goon Colton Orr!  Seriously Randy Carlyle has been playing this guy a regular shift on his line.  The guy is an ankle burner, who should be buried on the 4th line at best not leading the team in ice time. Don't get me wrong I love hockey fights, I know it's the cool thing to hate on hockey fights, many bloggers and columnists I respect rally against it....but fuck em.  I know all the arguments against it, concussions, and the fact that when it comes down to it they truly serve no purpose whatsoever, but I don't care, a good scrap is awesome.  That all being said, hockey skill wise Colton Orr sucks.  I think Kadri should centre the first line between my boy Phil Kessel and James van Riemsdyk aka van Dreamsdyk.  Speaking of whom, has been incredible this year, kudos to Brian Burke for trading Puke Schenn to Philly for him. 

My boy Phil Kessel has been a lightning rod of controversy in his tenure in Toronto, mainly because of the controversial deal that brought him here.  It seems like I am constantly defending the best player they've had since Sundin. Granted he hasn't scored at the pace we're used to this season, but he has still put up a ton of assists, and some of his passes to van Dreamsdyk for goals this year have been things of beauty. One of my managers at work Ryan, is a die hard Red Wings fan, and he shits on Kessel and the Leafs non-stop.  During the last World Juniors he was going on about how great this nobody Tomas Tatar is for Slovakia and he was a Wings prospect.  I correctly dismissed this plug as a sure fire bust bound for the Circus Leagues.  Anyways Tommy Tatar (pronounced T'Tar in a weird accent) made his NHL debut during Phil Kessel's minor goal scoring slump at the start of the season, and Ryan made a bet with me that this loser Tatar would score before Phil Kessel, and if he did I was not allowed to eat donuts for a year.  Obviously I won that bet, and now Ryan owes me beers, which he conveniently seems to forget.

Amongst many reasons why the Ottawa Senators are the worst team in the history of sports the above video is perhaps the number one reason why.  What a complete and total disaster, I have a hard time picking my favourite part, his crappy helmet falling off, the mic cutting in and out, the lines glued to the back of his shield, the fact that this Roman Warrior is in about as good as shape as I am, or when he says "welcome our heroes" while the Penguins skate out on the ice and the audience boos.  I actually tweeted this video to Mike Commodore, who can be seen standing at the start thinking "what kind of shitty half-assed organization am I a part of?" and he told me that was the most embarrassing moment of his career.

The Sens are so fucking brutal, and I hate all the flukey luck they've had thus far this season.  Jason Spezza, or "Jayshun Scheptcha" as Bryan Murray calls him and Erik "Overrated" Karlsson's injuries should have plunged the shit-stained Sens to the basement where they belong, yet riding flukey goaltending and winning shoot-out games they have some how managed to stay in the conversation in the Eastern Conference playoff race.  I predict this will end very quickly.  Craig Anderson and Ben "Billy" Bishop will regress back to the shitbags that they are, and Daniel Alfreddsson will thankfully retire after this season and we will finally be rid of this ugly Krusty the Clown looking dirtbag forever.   That toolbox owner of theirs Eugene Melnyk went crying to the media about Karlssons injury, saying Matt Cooke did it on purpose, that was an accident.  What that dork and the rest of dorky Sens fans seem to forget is that Marion Hossa blinded and effectively ended Bryan Berard's career with an errant high stick back in 2000.  To me that was a lot more intentional especially considering Berards (justified) decision not to report to the Senators after they drafted him first overall 1995, seems like a bit of a coincidence to me.

As for the rest of the league, you really can't ignore how good the Blackhawks have been, besides the Leafs they're a surefire Stanley Cup contender.  I think in this shortened season anything could still happen, the standings now could look totally different by the end of April or whenever the fuck the playoffs start. 

Anyways that's all for me tonight, we're going to King of the Pigs this coming Wednesday so expect one of my famous food reviews on that.  Big Brother Canada has started, and I am already hooked.  Big Brother is my favourite show and I'm thinking of writing a weekly blog about that.  By the way Suzette on Big Brother Canada is actually the worst.  The woman can barely string a sentence together and she hosts a radio show.  My Heavens.   As always give me a follow on twitter @didhenley