REVIEW: Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder & Buffalo Chicken Poutine

It's about god damned time McDonald's brought us a new burger option.  Obviously the Big Mac is and always will be king and I will still order it 90% of the time I get McDonald's, but they are too fucking focused on trying to become a yuppie coffee shop with frou frou salads to remember what they're in business for in the first place - delicious greasy and unhealthy burgers.  The Crispy Shrimp Asian Wrap does sound intriguing but I will not be lifting my boycott of McDonald's salads and wraps anytime soon for that.  I was at Union Station in Toronto the other night after a Jays game and saw the Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder (Jesus what a mouthful that is, say that 5 times fast) and the Buffalo Chicken Poutine being advertised in the McDonald's there.  I had just eaten a big meal and it was late at night so I had no desire to try it then, so I sauntered down to shitty Jackson Square today to give both of them a try.

Before I get into the review, the McDonald's at Jackson Square here in Hamilton has started the irritating practice of having to give your first name in order for them to call it out when your meal is ready.  That may not matter to 99% of you, but when your name is Didymus it is kind of annoying having to always repeat yourself... even when I just say Did.  This inevitably leads to having to spell out your name, then usually some smart alec remark... people with different names know what I am talking about! I am sure there is a fucking Buzzfeed list about it.  Don't get me wrong I like my unique name but sometimes it's a pain in the ass - so I usually just say my name is Gary Porter or Doug Swan or Barry Lewis. 

First up is the burger.  It was alright, not the best I have had.  I remember having this burger in London a couple of years ago and it was way better than the one I had today.  The Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder comes with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, crispy onions and smokey BBQ sauce.  They have phased out the Third Pounders, and I think it is because sometimes the patties come out dryer than a popcorn fart, and today that was the case.  If you look closely at the top bun that's almost a third of the burger without any sauce on it, and that was very disappointing.  Here's a closer look at the complete lack of sauce:

The sauce was very good, and when I had this burger a couple of years ago, they went to town with the sauce, and I needed a shower after eating it to clean myself off.  If they weren't such cheap arseholes about the sauce it would have offset the dryness of the patty and made it 100 times better.  The burger was cold too, and no it wasn't because I spent 20 minutes snapping pictures of it, it was pretty cold right off the jump.  I would be willing to try it again because a fresh patty and more sauce would have improved the overall quality considerably.

Next up we have the Buffalo Chicken Poutine.  I am a huge chicken wing fan, and the buffalo style hot sauce on this was amongst the best that I have had, if you put this sauce on normal chicken wings you'd have yourself a winner there.  It was surprisingly spicy, usually "spicy" stuff from fast food joints lacks any punch.  They ask you if you want crispy or grilled chicken with it, of course I am going to get crispy, get the fuck out of here with that grilled nonsense.  You get a big portion with a decent amount of cheese curds in it.  Things get a little weird though because the first layer is buffalo chicken, but then the second layer is regular poutine with normal "gravy"  So that was kind of bizarre, the flavours didn't really mix too much, and I don't think the gravy was necessary.  When you go to New York Fries for Butter Chicken Poutine or Pulled Pork Poutine they rightly don't put any gravy on it, McDonald's should have avoided putting their "gravy" on this.  I would consider ordering this again, but it is a little pricey, the burger, poutine and pop set me back a whopping $12, which was a little steep for McDonald's, plus you really can't beat regular fries at McDonald's why lump a bunch of extra shit on top of it??

BONUS REVIEW!
Holy fuck the Tim Horton's Oreo Donut is a masterpiece.  I couldn't believe how good this donut was, it was a chocolate donut with Oreo icing and crumbled Oreos on top.  The kicker though was the white cream in the middle....OK get your white cream jokes out of the way you perverts.... but seriously whatever that goop was in the middle that tasted like Oreo frosting was amazing and I want a tub of it to spread it on toast or just eat the fucking thing with a spoon.  The sad thing is I had this donut a week ago, but when I went back today they were all out.  I was too heartbroken and upset to get another flavour and I walked out with my head hung low.  I need to have another one of these ASAP.  It's more expensive than a normal donut at $1.49 but it's worth every penny.

Big Brother 16 Week 4 Thoughts

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.... I am enjoying this season but the evictions are becoming a little too predictable the last couple of weeks.  Brittany was the latest casualty, and I won't miss her, she had a bad attitude plus she committed the cardinal sin of Big Brother saying that she did not want to be there and wanted to go home.  I hate when people say that, thousands of people apply to be on the show and would switch places in a second with you.  I do give her props for doing that 2400 goals in 24 hour punishment, that was probably one of the toughest things I have seen anyone do on the show. At least she gets to go home and see her kids... two of which appear to be The Real Slim Shady.

I think Cody kicked himself in the ass in more ways than one this week.  I can't believe he went the safe route and decided to put up Donny over that lunatic Caleb, ESPECIALLY after he told Donny that he was safe.  Obviously there was no chance of Donny going home, but it would still be unsettling to go on the block.  It was Cody's HOH and if he wanted Caleb to go he should've gone, Derrick and Frankie insisted it was the right game move, but I disagree with them.  Brittany is expendible, she could've left whenever, and Cody had the votes to get rid of Caleb this week and he should have.

Caleb belongs in the Looney Bin. He is so fucking spun. That is evident enough to us who just watch the show and not the feeds, with him sneaking around trying to catch Amber talking to any other guy saying he is "Stealth Mode Cowboy"?? According to the live feeders he is taking Amber's dresses and smelling them and wrapping them around his head and whatnot.  He also tried to trade the $5K he won with Zach's trip to Germany so he can take Amber with him... the producers thankfully didn't allow the swap.  I really wish he was voted out this week (last week too!) at this point his obsession with Amber is not funny and I honestly think the producers need to intervene.  Plus he really is a dumbo of all dumbos as Donny said, he really thinks the Bomb Squad are still an alliance??

Frankie and Zach are our HOH's this week.  I wonder if they are finally going to make out?? Not that there is anything wrong with that!!  I have to think that Caleb will be the target this week... at least I am hoping.  But I can see them going the back door route like they did with Devin.  The usual suspects will go on the block in the meantime...Donny, Jacosta, Victoria... maybe Amber? Nicole or Hayden??  Anyways the Detonators are obviously steam rolling this season, I really hope they start to turn on each other soon as it is getting a little bit dull. 

Other Random Thoughts

The part with Frankies Grandfather was pretty touching, apparently he was very old and sick with cancer and it was just a matter of time, which made his decision to stay in the house a little easier, I am sure he was able to say his good-bye before he went to go on the show.  It was a nice moment when everyone in the house could put the game and any differences they had aside to help Frankie mourn his loss.

1, 2 Christine's coming for you.  Seriously she does look like Freddie Kreuger.  That being said I think she is in a pretty good position and she will sneak on through late into the show.  She is in with the Detonators, plus she is tight with Nicole and Hayden, and she hasn't got any blood on her hands so far, and like she has admitted has stumbled ass backwards into it all.

What in the name of fuck was Jocasta doing at the end of the Battle of the Block competition??  That was seriously one of the weirdest things I have seen in my entire life.  She seems like a nice enough person but this over the top Christianity really grinds my gears.  I think the producers told her to knock it off with the shout outs during her vote because for once she didn't give a shout out to everyone she knows before she cast her vote.

Victoria was once again useless this week.  Yeah she won the veto, but those competitions are all about luck, not any skill.  I really didn't understand the whole bed thing with her though?? Why did no one want to share a bed with her?  I know if I ever go on Big Brother no one would want to share a bed with me, because I snore...I snore VERY loudly apparently.  Plus I get the jimmy legs so someone would get kicked out of bed.

Nicoles little cousins saying Hayden wants to "make sex" with her was pretty hilarious... hopefully this budding relationship doesn't come as insufferable as every other Big Brother showmance (by the way I hate that term so fucking much!)

I get live feed updates on my Twitter feed and a few days ago  they got alcohol delivery... they got a whopping 16 beers and 2 bottles of wine!  For 13 people! What a bunch of cheap arseholes! They couldn't even spring for a whole 2-4.  I hate to tell tales out of school but I can knock back a beer or two with the best of them, those 16 beers would've been enough for me for a night...I'd give a couple to Donny though!

Big Brother 16 Week 3 Thoughts

Sorry I didn't get this up last night, the Wifi in my house is acting all fucky as of late, anyways, last week I predicted that Devin was going to end up sticking around for a bit.... well I was dead wrong on that one!  Get used to it folks, I am always wrong.  Devin was a terrible Big Brother player for sure, but I don't think he is a bad person or anything.  The problem is when ultra-competitive alpha males get in the house they play too hard too fast, they end up getting an early HOH and let the power COMPLETELY go to their head, it seems to happen every single season of Big Brother... remember that arsehole Jeremy from BB15?? It was the exact same thing.  They really teased having Caleb be the one evicted over Devin last night, and I was really rooting for that to happen because Caleb is a fucking creep show.

Caleb is the worst, he gives me major league douche chills.  At this point I am surprised the producers of the show are allowing him to be within 10 feet of Amber.  Bud, she's not into you get over it.  It was funny when Cody was massaging her shoulders and they showed psycho hose beast giving them the stink eye from the other room and they played the psycho music.  I don't know why he thinks just because he retardedly put himself on the block "for her" that she was going to rip off her clothes and jump his bones immediately... plus the whole thing with the blankets? If I were Amber I wouldn't want to sleep in the same room as him, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if she is missing a few pairs of underwear.  Plus "beast mode cowboy" do up your god damned shirt when someone like Julie Chen is talking to you, show some fucking respect.  I thought VaGinaMarie's obsession with Nick (you's a buncha cock-a-roaches!!) was bad but this is a million times worse.

Other Random Thoughts:

I have spoilers at the end of this.... don't read on if you don't want to know what happened!

As much of a d-bag Jeff Schroeder is, the segment with Donny's family was good, his girlfriend isn't that bad looking either!  I honestly don't get why people think he is something he isn't, the same thing happened with Judd last season when the simple southern guy was some perceived genius, Donny wears a Harvard t-shirt so he MUST be a Doctor?  Ol' Donny has proved himself to be a worthy competitor with #OldManBeatDown, but unfortunately if he keeps winning competitions it is going to put a target his back and he could be sent packing....which would suck because Donny is the best.

Jacosta really annoys me, the puking and the sobbing this week were too much.  Plus they put one of her shitty bowties on the chair when she was too sick to compete in the veto? Ugh I don't know how many of you noticed that but that almost made ME barf.....my all time favourite houseguest Enzo aka the Meow Meow from BB12 had the best line on twitter...

Hayden is quickly becoming one of my favourites this season.  His flirting with Nicole is funny and cute, not psychotic and creepy like Caleb.  Plus he had the line of the night last night when Victoria walked by and they were all yelling at her and he goes "No seriously, what's your name??" It's easy to forget that Vic-Bore-ia is on the show!

Buzzfeed has a fucking list for everything in the god damned world, and of course there is now one for Big Brother fans.... I can definitely identify with a lot on this list.  Check it out here:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jarettwieselman/61-signs-youre-obsessed-with-big-brother

The team of Cody and Frankie won HOH.  As of this morning the potential nominees are Amber/Jacosta and Vicboria/Brittany.  As part of the STUPID Team America twist they have to target a "strong physical competitor" apparently they have deemed Amber to be that.  I hope they don't give them the $5K for that, how on Earth is she a physical contender?  Anyways as it stands now I can see either Jacosta or Vicboria going home, and I wouldn't miss either of them!

Big Brother 16 Week 2 Thoughts

Well what a fucked up week that was.  At this point last year we were all shocked by the horrible racist/homophobic/misogynist comments by some of the BB15 houseguests, this year we are just shocked about how bat shit crazy Devin is.  More on that nut bar in a bit...  Anyways, that firecracker Pow Pow is second one evicted from the Big Brother house, I can't say that I will miss her, for whatever reason she thought she was all that and a bag of chips.  What in God's name was she doing at the Veto meeting?? I honestly she thought she was having a stroke but she kept doing some kind of fashion pose.  She'll soon be forgotten...but, since when was she best friends with Donny?? I don't watch the feeds (I just read spoilers!) so I must've missed that whole friendship bloom, I don't want to see my boy Donny upset, I am sure he'll get over it soon.

Devin certainly has got his cables cut.  Honestly in all my years of watching this show I don't think I have seen anyone play such a sloppy, terrible game that Devin has.  The waters don't run deep with that fella.  I just trashed Pow-Pow but she had the best line saying "You have 5 personalities and they all suck."  He had the worst case of HOHitis in the history of the game, honestly some people can't handle any sort of power and they let it go straight to their head which Devin clearly did.  He was a bully, he pushed people around thinking he was some sort of evil puppet master, when all he has done is piss off everyone in the house (including his ever-expanding stupid alliance) putting the target squarely on his back.  I would have to say the Bomb Squad is the worst alliance in Big Brother History, right up there with the Moving Company from BB15 and The Regulators from BB13.  It wasn't so much an alliance as Devin having god forsaken meetings and people nodding at him not wanting to set him off.  Those meetings were so fucking awkward, and I actually thought they threw Zach under the bus when he was the only one that spoke up against him when they were all bashing Devin before the meeting.  It doesn't come across on the show as badly but people who watch the live feeds say that he CONSTANTLY brings up his daughter to the point that #devinhasadaughter is a thing on Twitter.  Obviously the Bomb Squad has exploded and they are no longer a thing, and Devin has no one to blame but himself.  He made the alliance and he destroyed it. The more I think about it the more I think Devin is going to be safe for a while, Big Brother USA is notorious for helping out the lunatics who people "love to hate" by keeping them on the show, and making them the entire focus of the show (seriously the Wednesday episode was 90% Devin)  Think Amanda last year, and friggin Rachel Reilly for two seasons.  Somehow Devin is going to manage to slip through the cracks for another couple of weeks.

Derrick and Nicole are the two HOHs this week, and I am pretty happy with that.  Nicole is hilarious and I like her alliance with Hayden and Christine.  I like Derrick as well, he is a really smart player, and knows the show very well.  I am going to make my prediction now - he will win this season.  As for what they are going to do this week, I think Devin is the obvious target, but I think it would be a mistake for either of them to put him on the block right away, because he could well win the Battle of the Block and pull himself off.  If they were smart (which I think they are) whoever lasts through the Battle of the Block will back-door him at Veto.  As for the first four they are going to put up... that's tough to pick if they were going to target Devin and Caleb you could put them on competing teams for the Battle of the Block, but then you risk either one of them getting veto sending that whole plan to shit.  There is a lot of dead weight in the cast this year, so I could see some randos like Jacosta or Victoria going up.

Other Random Thoughts:

I can't be the only one who thinks the Zach/Frankie thing is a little odd... He says he isn't gay but likes to cuddle with gay men.  OK.  Not that there is anything wrong with that! If that's what makes them happy then who am I to say anything?  It isn't the only male on male cuddle-mance this season, Caleb was feeling a little lonesome and wanted someone to cuddle, and Devin stepped right up to the plate! Frankie and Zach had their little lovers quarrel after the POV fight but I think they'll work it out, but Zach is a bit of a hot head and I can see his big mouth getting him in trouble, it almost got him evicted this week! 

That POV fight was alright, but I have definitely seen better.  It did make Devin the target which I think is what Zach intended on.

The Team America thing is as stupid as I predicted, I honestly hope they don't make this a bigger part of the show than it is.  Obviously Frankie's sister Ariana Grande and her 16 million Twitter followers got him on Team America, I am kind of surprised Derrick made it....Donny obviously is going to win anything the audience votes on.  He already has the $25K cheque for being America's favourite player wrapped up at the end of the season.

Caleb reminds me of this dishwasher I worked with when I worked at the Delta Hotel a few years back.  They both have the same vacant stare, and kind of look a like.  If Caleb has a Palasad Bowling Alley tattoo then that would be the weirdest coincidence ever. (enough with the jokes that maybe 2 people reading this blog will understand!)  What's with those glasses with no lenses?  As a glasses wearer I am offended by that.  He is a major creeper too... I am sure Amber is going to have to get a restraining order on him when they get off the show.  I actually like him less than Devin, and least Devin is good for shits 'n giggles.

Is Victoria or Jacosta on this show?  It seems like Victoria saying "I vote to evict Pow Pow" was the second thing she has said all season, and the first being "I vote to evict Joey."  I am kind of glad Jacosta hasn't had much to say this season as every second word out of her mouth would be either God, Jesus or bowties.

As for a prediction... I am going to go off the map and say Brittany is gone, she isn't really close with either Nicole or Derrick (or anyone else for that matter), she had that little breakdown at the POV ceremony, and like I said the BB Producers will figure out someway to keep Devin in this. 

Big Brother 16 Week 1 Thoughts

Joey and her insane alter ego 'Alex' are the first casualty of Big Brother 16.  Meh.  Good riddance, she didn't really bring much to the table, and in three weeks we'll all be like "remember when that Milhouse-haired weirdo went around pretending she was a dude?"  It must suck being the first evicted from Big Brother, especially by a 13-0 margin but someone has to be the first... at least she had a week unlike Jodi from BB14 who was given the boot on the very first day! So much for her being on "Team America" it is like how Annie was the "saboteur" on BB12 but she got voted off first.  It was weird how Big Brother portrayed her as "The LIBERAL" like it was something outrageous.... Americans are fucked.

Devin aka the lost 5th member of the Ninja Turtles is fucking whack-a-doodle, and now after video review he is HOH?  Good Lord I am not sure what this paranoid lunatic is going to do.  Joey played a pretty awful game of Big Brother but Devin calling her the worst player in Big Brother history is pretty fresh.  Seriously this guy sucks, first at 4:30 in the morning he unilaterally decides to expose his whack alliance to Christine and Amber inviting them in thinking that they need more members, and second he thinks Donny is some secret genius!!  Donny told his corny "pasta-tute" joke to a group and based on that Devin thought he was a fucking professional comedian!?!?!  Also Donny's "tall drink of water socks" made him stop growing hair on his legs and him and Caleb took that to mean he was a some GI Joe Secret Ops Navy Seal....if you want to know who killed Osama Bin Laden it was fucking Donny.  I love how Big Brother played the dodo derp derp music when those two neanderthals were 'thinking' through their theories on Donny.  Anyways Devin is nuttier than squirrel shit, and even though he won HOH, so did Amber and with the twist that doesn't mean anything.  I hope the other people in the whack Bomb Squad realize what a paranoid loose cannon he is, and he could well be shown the door this week despite winning HOH....especially if being HOH goes to his head like I predict it will.

I fucking love Donny.  How could you not?  Like I said last week I first saw his picture and thought he'd be some crack-pot Duck Dynasty piece of shit but he could not be farther away from those assholes.  Every word that comes out of his mouth is hilarious... bust a bean, the pasta-tute joke, saying that he is wearing tall drink of water socks.  I didn't go out of my way to read spoilers this week but I was still spoiled (Thanks BBCAN2 Jon Pardy on Twitter!!) so I knew what was coming, but I still stood up and applauded when he won the Veto.  The shitty thing he has put so much of his trust into Devin, and I can see Leonardo turning around and stabbing him in the back which will make Donny will cry, and I will cry too.  I really hope he lasts well into the summer but I have a terrible feeling he won't.  He's in "Team America" obviously because everyone else loves him, I hope that doesn't fuck up his game either.  The more I think of it the more I think this stupid Team America twist isn't going to do anything.

Other Random Thoughts:

So the whole Caleb/Amber thing got about 5 minutes of air time tonight, but according to people watching the feeds it was 10000 times more awkward in real time than what they showed tonight, and apparently he has some sort of fatal attraction to Amber and she is not having that.  Caleb certainly gives me the douche chills.  It'll be interesting to see what she does as one of the HOH's. I know she was thrown into the whole stupid Bomb Squad by Devin but I doubt she is very loyal to it, and she certainly doesn't want anything to do with Caleb.

The Bomb Squad sucks, it's really just Caleb and Devin being lunatics and the rest of them just going along with what they say for now waiting for a perfect time to cut loose.  Derrick despite his lack of air time is a smart player and I think has realized this, same goes for Christine, Cody and Amber.  If they knew what was best for them they'd ditch those arseholes ASAP.

I love Nicole and Christine aka Nicotine, their fear of ghosts, the chest bump they did after they voted tonight.  I think they will be sticking around for a bit, and will provide a lot of much needed entertainment this season.

I really don't like the new opening, depsite that amazing Donny screencap seen above.  Just stick with the old one for christs sake!

I don't know why and I don't have a reason yet but Victoria bugs me.

Pao-Pao sucks.  She is brutal in competitions and doesn't offer anything to the show, if Joey wasn't so bat shit crazy she'd be the one first evicted.

As for a prediction for this week it's pretty hard for me to put a finger on it, with the double HOH, the Battle of the Block, Veto etc.  I would honestly like to see either Caleb or Devin go, but I doubt that will happen, it'll probably be someone random and forgettable like Pao-Pao or Brittany....I just hope it is not Donny!