A Rare Trifecta, Jack Armstrong Drinking Game and more!!

A rare thing occurred yesterday.  A trifecta of victories amongst my teams - the Bills, Leafs and Raptors all were victorious, I don't think that has ever happened.  Because of the overlap in seasons it isn't very often 3 of my teams play on the same day, a Bills/Leafs/Raptors trifecta is especially rare as the Leafs rarely play on Sundays when the Bills always play (also it's not often the 3 teams would win in recent years).  So needless to say yesterday I was on cloud fuckin' 9.

#BUDSALLDAY

Sweet hollering fuck were the Leafs ever glorious last week.  In this blog post last week I foresaw a tough week for my beloved Maple Leafs, and said that they will need "Nelson" Bernier to be in top form to get through that.  What tough week?? They went 4-0 against those shit-heads and they got excellent goaltending from both Nelson, and James "Optimus Reim" Reimer.  I'm a fan of both Bernier and Reimer, someone accused me of being a Reimer "Nut Hugger" on Facebook last week, and yeah I am a bit of a nut-hugger I like Optimus, and I think he can flourish in a #1 role on another team, and I don't like the way that Randy Carlyle has treated him.  In the meantime I like the idea of Bernier and Reimer being a 1a and 1b... you can never have enough goaltending.  Optimus was especially lights out against the Chicken Wings last Wednesday, he was the main reason we picked up two points against those assholes.

Someone buy this shirt for me for Christmas at http://teespring.com/budsalldaybud

The other thing that I have loved about the Leafs so far this season is they FINALLY have a great puck-possessing 3rd and 4th line.  Last season that piece of shit Randy Carlyle insisted on icing 2 face-punchers a night in Colton Orr and Fraser McClaren, don't get me wrong I am not one of those anti-fighting weasels like Damien Cox, I love a good scrap, but in todays NHL you don't dress 2 goons, it is a waste of a roster spot.  Instead of those cavemen, players like Richard Panik "On the team of Carlyle", Daniel Winnik, Mike Santorelli and Leo Komarov (when healthy) have stepped up, and provided the team with great production, they need this secondary scoring especially when they have streaky players like my beloved Phil Kessel playing on the first line.  Santorelli and Panik especially have had break out years, I give Dave Nonis a lot of (deserved) shit but those were shrewd pick ups.  Buds All Day.  Buds All Fucking Day.

The Week Ahead: vs. Anaheim (12/16), @ Carolina (12/18), vs. Philadelphia (12/20), @ Chicago (12/21).  This is the last gasp of the Leafs big homestand before they're kicked out of the ACC for the World Junior Tournament.  Corey Perry has the fucking mumps so the Ducks are missing their best player, Carolina is shit and so are the Flyers, but the Blackhawks should be a tough test.  The nerds are all saying the Leafs play isn't sustainable and they'll come crashing down to earth but fuck you nerds, what have you ever done for us (besides every scientific and technological advance in history).  The Leafs play again on Sunday, what is with these Sunday games? Sunday is for football, quit trying to make Hometown Hockey a thing Rogers, nobody cares that some Jethro from Moose Jaw grew up playing hockey on an outdoor rink.  I hate that shit.

The Raptors had a good week, their only blemish being the loss to the fucking Cleveland LeBrons, they also nearly lost to the Nuggets last Monday.  The Raptors against Denver and Cleveland were being out-rebounded and out-played late in the game (what happened to We the Fourth??)  and unfortunately that cost them against the LeBrons.  They kicked the shit out of Indiana like they were supposed to, but last night in New York they still won but they looked very sluggish.  The Knicks brought their A game against the Raptors, shitty teams are always going to do that now against the Raptors, and it is up to the Raps not to play down to their level.  I think they were out partying in NYC on the Saturday night, and no I don't think that is a big fucking deal.  These kids have millions of dollars at their disposal, they're in their 20's, of course they are going to go out partying in Manhattan, I would be very disappointed in them if they didn't.  Thankfully it didn't cost them a loss like it did in LA a few weeks ago.

The Jack Armstrong Drinking Game 

I fucking love Jack Armstrong, when the Raptors were shitty and unwatchable, he was the only reason to tune into a game.  My buddy and I have come up with a Jack Armstrong drinking game, when you do this, you'll end up as drunk as he is during the broadcasts.  You must take a drink everytime Jack:

Says Helloooooooooooooo. Usually done when showing a replay of a big dunk.

Says either MGD!! or BACARDI!!!! Gotta get those sponsorship plugs in.

Says Matty D  He always refers to Matt Devlin as Matty D.

Says GET THAT GAHH-BAGE OUTTA HERE!! Always screamed during a replay of a massive block/rejection.

Complains about the Referees:  He was really losing his mind during the playoffs last year, and he was getting really pissed off over LeBron getting calls.  Our Jack does not take refereeing bullshit laying down.

Concedes a good call was made by the refs:  Usually I am up screaming at the refs when a call against the Raptors is made, but often on the replay Jack will calm me down and begrudgingly admit the refs made the correct call, maybe take two drinks when this happens because NBA refs fuck up more often than not.

Jack Sings:  This is especially prevalent during the Holiday Season, he'll sing "Silver Bells" or that bizarre "Happy Holidaaaaaaays" song when Matty D is announcing some Christmas Ticket promotion.  Thankfully he doesn't sing Bon Jovi anymore.

Goes off Topic:  Usually done when Matty D says somthing about one of the sponsors, Jack spent a good two minutes talking Swifter Sweepers a couple of weeks ago.

Mentions coaching at Niagara or being from Brooklyn.  Pretty self explanatory.

Gets Excited:  This is a judgement call for you and your friends, I've generally said this happens when he raises his voice a few octaves, he usually does this going into a commercial, but he will do it throughout the broadcast.

Says "A little pepperoni, a little sauseech" You MUST finish your drink if this happens, as this doesn't happen anymore.  In years past the Raptors would have a promotion where if they scored over 100 points and won everyone in the crowd would get a slice of pizza.  So when the Raptors would break 100 points, Jack would ALWAYS say "A little pepperoni!! A little sauseech!!" He's only said this once this season, he went off topic (so that is already a drink) talking about pizza to Matty D, and yes he did say, "a little pepperoni, a little sauseech!" This drinking game didn't exist then, but if it did I would've shot gun a beer.

The Week Ahead: vs. Orlando (12/15), vs. Brooklyn (12/17), @ Detroit (12/19), vs. New York (12/21).  Another week and another 4 match-ups against Eastern Conference shit bags.  I know this is recurring theme but the Raptors must take advantage of this light schedule, especially with DeMar DeRozan on the mend.  Game of the week for me should be the pay back against Brooklyn on Wednesday, Brooklyn no longer has Paul Pierce, but they still have Kevin Garnett who is one of the most loathsome players in the NBA.  Fuck Brooklyn!.

Perhaps I should write-off my teams more often??  In completely shocking news the Buffalo Bills upset Super Bowl favourite Green Bay.  The funny thing is the Bills offense did all they could to let the Packers back into the game, but that defense... holy fuck that defense is amazing.  For the second week in a row they have made an elite quarterback look rather pedestrian, but unfortunately for the Bills they only have a pedestrian quarterback in Kyle Orton and even shittier offensive play calling.  If it wasn't for the Special Teams (Former Ti-Cat Marcus Thigpen with the punt return TD!!) and the magical boot of Dan Carpenter, they could have well blown that defensive masterpiece.  For the first time in over a decade, heading into Week 16 the Bills are still "in the hunt" for a playoff spot.  The game that will stick out for me if they miss the playoffs was the Week 10 loss against Kansas City, we should've won that game based on the defense, but the atrocious offensive play calling led to a 17-13 defeat.  That game could be the one we'll need to get into the playoffs.

The Week Ahead: @ Oakland (12/21).  When I looked at their December schedule I assumed this was the one game that they'd win, and it is definitely a must-win if they want to still be considered in the hunt for a playoff spot.  Oakland is hot garbage, but they did beat Kansas City and San Francisco, and as the Bills proved yesterday anything is possible.  The Bills have Pittsburgh and Baltimore ahead of them in the standings, and they are tied with Kansas City and San Diego. I am not smart enough to determine what scenarios are best for the Bills, but they are going to need to win out, and it starts against Oakland on Sunday.

Well that's all for this week.  I just realized next Sunday we could see another Trifecta of victories for my team, which would be awesome because it is 12/21... reverse that and you've got 21/12.  As in @HDH2112 and 2112, my lucky number and the one the best albums of all time - Rush 2112.  I am going to try my hardest to have a post up Monday, but I might be in transit to London for the Christmas Holidays (hahaha holidays, I've been on vacation since April!), so if I don't post next week I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!