Worst Play Call in NFL History, Worst Month in NHL History

Well that was the ultimate bumblefuck not only in NFL history but perhaps in the history of all of sports.  I know there is a ton of second guessing in sports, especially from arseholes like me, but Jesus H. Christ that was an all time fuck up.  Worst of all that bumblefuck caused the dreaded New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl.  Before that inexplicable play call was what could've been one of the best catches in Super Bowl history by Jermaine Kearse, but no one will remember it because it all got fucked up.  I texted my friend/nemesis Killer that Kearse's catch was the football gods punishing the Patriots for being rotten cheaters, because Seattle had that game won.  Of course karma comes and bites me in the ass because they went ahead and called a pass play on 2nd and Goal from the 1 yard line... when they have one of the best running quarterbacks in the game and they have fucking Beast Mode.

What makes matters worse is Killer and I had a bet, so now I have to have a picture of fucking Tom Brady sitting on a throne as my Facebook picture for a week, if the Seahawks weren't such dipshits he would have had Tom Brady squealing on a waterslide for a week.  The Tom Brady nut lickers don't realize that all their Super Bowl victories have either come by cheating or by complete flukes, a field goal here, a shitty play call there.  Fuck the Patriots.  All that being said the Super Bowl was very entertaining, it wasn't a shitty blow out like last year, and I liked the half time show.  The acid-trip beach sequence was pretty cool and Missy Elliott (remember her?) stole the show, any music that takes me back to my glory days of the early 2000's is good by me.  Katy Perry is gorgeous, she could sing the phone book and I would watch... even if she did look like Bam Bam Bigelow.

The best part of the Super Bowl was the food... sweet hollering fuck the food I had last night was good.  My friend Jeff can put together a feast and just like at the Grey Cup I will be doing a power rankings of the food eaten.

9.  Vegetables and Dip... vegetables are my mortal enemy so they will always be at the bottom, but they are always good to have on hand to nibble on before the main courses.  The dip was pretty good, but fuck it's still shitty vegetables.

8. Sushi Rolls... I fucking love Sushi rolls, there was a crab one with this orange sauce on it, ooooohh boy.  Best part is long after the game, I polished those bad boys off in a drunken haze, at least when you have sushi at home you don't have to pretend to know how to use chopsticks.  I've tried using chopsticks before, and believe me it's a fucking production.

7. Dave Thomas (not founder of Wendy's or Doug McKenzie) brought a roma style pizza before the game and that went quick.  I like the Roma style of pizza because it's good hot or cold.

6. Prosciutto wrapped cantaloupe with a piece of cheese on top, made by the lovely Chloe who puts up with all these meatheads invading her home constantly.  You probably had the same reaction I did when I heard this combination, but by gum it worked.  

5. Homemade Peanut Butter and M&M cookies made by Chris.  Peanut Butter cookies are my favourite and they were kicked up a significant notch with M&M's.

4. Chicken Soulvaki. Depsite the blizzard last night the BBQ was fired up and there were these delicious chicken skewers, I didn't ask what kind of spices were on the chicken, but whatever it was it was fucking good.

3. Ralphy's Tortellini... cheese tortellini with tomato sauce, very nice balance to all the meat.

2. Da'Rell's 10 Alarm Chili... You can't have a Super Bowl Party without chili and this was very good chili because there was a lot of shit in it.  There was the usual 3 pounds of beef, and there was bacon, jalapenos, green peppers.  The game changer was the corn, what a nice touch to have the sweetness of the corn in a spicy chili.

1.  Jeff's Ribs... bud.  These fucking ribs were a masterpiece.  First they were prepped and soaked in Apple Cider overnight.  Then a liberal amount of dry rub was put on it, the dry rub was your classic rub with garlic and onion powder, salt and pepper and a few notches of cayenne for heat.  Jeff had a mini-smoker so he soaked some Applewood chips in beer (the beer was sacrificed for the cause) and smoked the ribs on indirect heat on the BBQ.  After that they were painted with a delicious BBQ sauce, it was a Tony Roma's Honey Carolina mixed with PC Rib and Chicken sauce, throw in some Frank's, and a dash of "FML" Hot maple sauce and you got a sweet, tangy and spicy sauce.  These ribs sent your taste buds on one hell of a roller coaster ride, as they had a nice spicy kick to them but also had the taste of a classic BBQ sauce.   Here is a photo essay of the production:

The Raptors are on fire! Unlike that other Toronto team which we will get to in a minute.  The Raptors were a perfect 4-0 last week extending their winning streak to 6 games.  They blew significant leads against both Brooklyn and Washington, but still managed to hold them off in OT.  At least those close games were entertaining to watch, but something needs to be done about them falling apart, and I am sure that is always a point of emphasis with Dwane Casey and his coaching staff.  There is such a huge difference in my emotions watching the Raptors compared to the Leafs, the Leafs are like listening to especially moribund Morrissey, while the Raptors are like listening to Uptown Funk.  With the Raptors success Dwane Casey has finally gotten a bit of a taste what it's like to play in Toronto as he is being questioned constantly, he got a little pissy in the media saying that they are winning, yet all he is hearing is nitpicking.  Sorry Dwane welcome to fucking Toronto, Cito Gaston only won back to back World Series and his decisions were constantly thrown into question, and don't get me started on the fucking Leafs.  I think Dwane Casey is a great coach, and has done a hell of a job so far, but the one thing I do disagree with him is... why isn't the pharmacy open during crunch time??

The Pharmacy of course refers to Jonas "Big V" Valanciunas.  It seems at the end of the game he prefers having Amir Johnson and Patrick Patterson out there, of course Big V fouled out Saturday so that didn't help, but still Big V should be playing Big Minutes.  I know Big V is only 22 (Jesus Fuck I am an entire decade older than him) and they don't want to rush his development, but the time is now to give him minutes late in the game, let him learn now instead of more important games come playoff time.  The Raptors give up a lot of size putting Amir Johnson and Patrick Patterson up against other big men.  This is going to be Big V's role for years to come, and I think the time is now to start putting him in these situations.

The Week Ahead: vs. Milwaukee (2/2) vs. Brooklyn (2/4), vs. Los Angeles Clippers (2/6), vs. San Antonio (2/8).  The Raptors look to continue their winning ways against two shitty teams and two good teams.  That being said, the Bucks are a much improved team over last year so they shouldn't take them lightly, and as we saw last Friday Brooklyn can still give the Raptors a run for their money.  The game against the Clippers back in December was one of the most entertaining games I have seen all year, and perhaps the Clippers have revenge on their mind, to me that will be the game of the week.  The defending champs come in on Sunday for the first match-up of the season, this will be a good measuring stick for the Raptors as the Spurs are a team that the Raptors (and every other team in the league for that matter) should emulate.

What can you say about the Leafs that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan?  What a fucking disaster the month of January was for them.  The Leafs are just downright unwatchable now, the season has been a complete waste.  Everyone has got the notion that we're going to be bad enough to get Connor McDavid... that's not happening buds.  This horrible play is about as sustainable as their amazing play was back in November...which is not at all, they'll start scoring again eventually.  You know that they'll get hot again in late February/early March and finish just outside of the playoff picture as usual.  Hopefully Martin Gerber doesn't come in and stand on his head again.  I'm sorry but you can not tell professional athletes to "tank" these guys have been competitive all their lives whether it be hockey or a game of fucking ping pong in the locker room, they are not about to go and lose on purpose.  That being said I think it is time to tear disaster of a team down, even my beloved Phil Kessel shouldn't be untouchable.  Dave Nonis is a lame duck GM, so I don't want him making any franchise altering changes,  I doubt he is making any moves on his own and is really just a glorified scout.  Shanahan had this big to do about watching the core after Carlyle was fired and how he was going to hold them accountable... and the whole thing has gone to shit.  I can barely watch these fuckers anymore it just depresses the hell out of me.

The Week Ahead: @ Nashville (2/3), @ New Jersey (2/6), vs. Edmonton (2/7) To quote Alex Rios "Who Gives a Fuck!?"  But really if they don't curb stomp Edmonton, I don't even know anymore.

This is a new segment for the blog, it's an idea my buddy Ando came up for our podcast (which will happen eventually, I swear!!!  He'll also have to work on that Twitter).  Basically it is the blunder of the week, while it would be easy enough to say that the Pete Carroll decision to throw on 2nd and Goal on the 1 should warrant the first C'Mon Bud, this week it will have to go to Leafs goaltender Jonathan Bernier for this did-saster.

Jesus Christ Bernier what in the fuck was that... the thing is he was playing a decent game up until that point and then proceeded to fall apart like a Chinese Motorcycle.  If James Reimer let in that goal he would've been crucified and poor April Reimer would not be able to check her phone or twitter for a month.  I still have faith in Bernier but he is slowly turning into Vesa Toskala 2.0.  Ugh.