Jays Finally Playing to Potential

Through all the screams and foot stomping of the garbage clowns I was optimistic, I scoffed at the asshole squids in the media like Steve Simmons and Cathal Kelly proclaiming the season was over as early as mid-April.  Bob McCown on Wednesday even claimed that John Gibbons was on the verge of getting fired on Thursdays off day.  While I don't want to jinx it or apply the dreaded curse of HDH upon my beloved boys in blue I think they are finally playing like the team that we all envisioned coming out of Spring Training.

Don't get me wrong it's been frustrating as fuck watching this team through the first two months of this season, they never managed to win more than 3 games in a row, when they got pitching the bats fell asleep, when the bats were on fire the pitching sucked and the bullpen blew saves, injuries made players play out of position and it showed.  It seems to me that the Jays are FINALLY playing at their potential.  The team is getting healthy, the starting pitching has been much, much better and they are still one of the best offensive teams in all of baseball.  Winning the AL East is not out of the question, they are only 4.5 games out, and the rest of the division has been pretty brutal all year too.  There is countless examples of teams that have had sub-par starts to the season heat up when it matters and make the playoffs.

A group nap between games of the doubleheader last Tuesday has proved to be the turning point.  In game 1 of the doubleheader they meekly lost 2-0 blowing a great performance by R.A. Dickey.  During game 2 on the Washington broadcast they reported:

"We heard reports that in between games, the Blue Jays had the lights out in the clubhouse and they were all taking naps. Some guys were in the clubhouse and said they were just kind of passed out sleeping in between games."

I am happy to report that the Jays are 4-0 after that group nap.  I can safely say I haven't had a group nap since Kindergarten, but naps are fucking awesome.  In my beloved days on EI and in my UWO days I would have naps on the regular and it was incredible.  Anyways, the Jays have been playing great baseball, even guys who I have shit on like Kevin Pillar and Chris Collabello have been great.  But the player I am most happy with is Jose Reyes right now, he has got timely hits, lots of stolen bases and has been much better defensively which brings us to this weeks....

This weeks Squid of the Week is an easy call, it's that crotchety old fart Jerry Howarth going on the radio to shit all over Jose Reyes.  According to Jerry, we should all feel sorry for John Gibbons and the rest of the team because of the way Jose Reyes plays shortstop... huh?!?! Yeah he had a bad game on Sunday but fuck right off.   The whole thing reeked of an old man yelling at a cloud.

Jerry went on to say that he has regressed defensively, well no shit bud, what a drag it is getting old.  He also bordered on racism saying that Reyes grew up playing "street ball" and that his style of play belongs on the street.  He also admonished Reyes for smiling too much.  That part really fucking grinds my gears, you can go fuck yourself Jerry, at the end of the day he is playing a kids game for millions of dollars, so fucking what if he smiles.  Marcus Stroman smiles all the time and he is beloved, Blue Jays World Series Hero Joe Carter was known for his beaming smile.  Once again my bud Andrew Stoeten brilliantly broke it all down earlier this week.  

It actually pains me to be so hard on Jerry Howarth, I grew up listening to Tom Cheek and Jerry Howarth on the radio with the TV muted, he has been around the team for many years and should be respected.  But this is not the first time he has gone and ran his mouth off sticking his nose into things.  First it was Jose Bautista, then it was R.A. Dickey being the supposed issues with the team, Reyes, Bautista and Dickey are only 3 of the better players on the team.  With Bautista and Reyes it seems to me like Jerry just doesn't like the Latin American players. 

The worst part in all this is Jerry wants Ryan Goins to be the everyday shortstop...da fuck!?! Goins is great defensively yet he can't hit worth shit.  Plus Howarth like the rest of the old school guys have had a throbbing boner over Derek Jeter who regressed just as bad as Reyes has if not worse. Jerry would talk non-stop about how great Jeter was, even though Jeter refused to leave the shortstop position despite his obvious regressions, and the fucking guy went on a year long retirement tour that just reeked of megalomania.  

Jerry just shut the fuck up and go sit in your rocking chair drink your milk of magnesia give us some "There she gooooooooes" and keep your asshole old man opinions to yourself.

The Week Ahead: vs. Houston (right meow), vs Miami (6/8 - 6/10), @ Boston (6/12 - 6/14).   The Jays are holding on to a 3-2 lead as I proofread this (yes I actually do proofread hahaha) hopefully we sweep these shitheads for revenge for the ass kicking they laid on us a few weeks ago. We did sweep those shitheads in dramatic fashion, what a 9th inning!! Miami is coming in this week, the only interesting thing about that is seeing Giancarlo Stanton up close, hopefully he doesn't mash too badly.  The Jays always seem to play well in Boston and the Red Sox are scuffling bad, hopefully by that point they Jays are above .500 and a lot closer to being in the lead in the AL East.

That's your boy HDH on the left after the first game at Tim Horton's Field, a triumphant victory over those piece of shit Argos on Labour Day.  I am so happy I will be back there tomorrow for the first pre-season game against the dreadful Ottawa RedBlacks.  Too bad the next game at home will not be until the Holiday Monday in August on account of the useless fucking Pan-Am Games.  I totally fell in love with the CFL again being back in Hamilton last year after living in London for over a decade.  I think the Ti-Cats are poised to have another good season, they haven't lost at Hortons Field yet and I don't see that trend ending.

There will be a new segment on this blog called the Heckle of the Week.  I go to every Ti-Cats home game and sit 9 rows back from the opponents bench, and me and my buds heckle the fuck out of the opponents the entire game.  Despite all the swearing I do in this blog and in my day to day life, you have to keep your heckles clean, that's part of the challenge of heckling, being creative and funny without resorting to calling them all assholes.  My buddy Jeff (in the picture) is as good a heckler as they come, and so is my friend Andy.  When Ando's brother Mike shows up it's a 4 headed monster of heckles between us all.  If my phone wasn't such a piece of shit I would record a video and upload them here, but you'll have to live with me typing them out.

I suppose I should say something about the NBA Finals and Stanley Cup Final I guess.  First things first the NBA Finals are done, sorry Cleveland but LeBron can't do it all himself, the injuries are an unfortunate break, but they'll be back.  This is Steph Curry's year, my goodness he is good.  I don't see this series lasting past 4 or 5 games.

Game 1 of the Stanley Cup final was boring as fuck, but last nights game was a lot better.  Except what was up with Ben "Billy" Bishop.  This brings us to this weeks....

So did Ben "Billy" Bishop have the green apple splatters last night?  C'Mon Bud it was before a Stanley Cup Final game, you could have laid off the Taco Bell for one day.  Pop a fucking Immodium or two and get back out there, put on some Depends if need be.   I knew something was wrong with this guy back when he played for the shitty Senators.

It must suck having to take off all that equipment if you have the scoots, it probably got everywhere and he was too embarrassed to come back in.  I heard after all this Ben "Billy" Bishop has requested a trade to the San Jose Sharts, in fact his AHL team was not the Hershey Bears but the Hershey Squirts.  Remember that childhood "Diarrhea" song you sang as a kid, while being the mature soon to be 33 year old that I am I came up with a couple of new verses in honour of Ben "Billy" Bishop.

"If you're playing for the Lightning, and the smell is getting frightening.  Diarrhea! Diarrhea!"

"If you're playing for the Cup, and you got to take a dump. Diarrhea! Diarrhea!"

"When you look like a fool, because of leaky stool.  Diarrhea! Diarrhea!"

Feel free to Tweet or Facebook me some of your own lyrics or put them in the comments below!