An Ode to Josh Donaldson

Josh Donaldson is a Toronto Blue Jay.  Just saying puts a smile on my face, and he is going to be a Blue Jay for the foreseeable future.  This guy is unbelievable and had an unbelievable week last week, seemingly hitting a home run at every at bat.  I watched last Tuesday's game at my buddy's....what a fucking roller coaster of emotion that was.  It was the most entertaining ball game I have seen in ages.  The Jays bullpen was awful as we've come to expect, but when Josh Donaldson hit that walk-off homerun, we were jumping up and down like assholes, war-hooting, uncoordinated white guy high fives, the whole 9.  I know mouth breathing cretins like Gregg Zaun over-use the term 'clutch' but Donaldson is fucking clutch.  I am getting a Josh Donaldson jersey, he is the new G.B.O.A.T.

It makes you forget all about this fucking squid.  RISE AND GRIND DORKS!!  Brett Lawrie is terrible and is pretty much the anti-Josh Donaldson.  Yeah he is putting up decent numbers in Oakland but he is nowhere near Donaldson's level.  I admit I got caught up in the Lawrie hype, I even have a Lawrie jersey ($30 from China thank fuck I didn't pay full price).   Everyone who purchased a Lawrie jersey (Chinese ones too) should be allowed to replace it for a Donaldson one.  Lawrie's problem is he had smoke blown up his ass the entire time he was in the Blue Jays organization simply because he was Canadian, he was in the terrible WestJet and Rogers commercials, and for what?  By the way Brett, ease up on the Red Bull and blow bud your fucking heart is going to explode.

Live shot of the Toronto Blue Jays Bullpen/Outfield

While the starting pitching has improved leaps and bounds in the last couple of weeks the bullpen is still a fucking disaster.  These pitchers are  BRUTAL, and no lead is safe when the bullpen comes in.  But help is on the way in Phil Coke...ugh I used to call him Phil Choke when he played for the shitty Tigers, so I am not expecting big things.

The outfield is one of the worst defensively I have seen in my entire life.  Routine plays have turned into a fucking circus with the likes of Carrera and Collabello playing the field.  It sucks when they make these defensive gaffes it's always in close games and they have come back to bite the team in the ass.  The best defensive outfielder in Kevin Pillar has been fucking garbage at the plate, he's a plug.  At least Collabello can hit the ball because that bottom third of the line-up is more like a bottom Turd. 

Despite the terrible bullpen and the below replacement level outfield, the Jays are still in the thick of things, I am fully expecting the Jays to be a fuck of a lot better June through September than they have been in April and May.  The AL East is ripe for the taking, and a solid winning streak will catapult them to the top of the division.

The Week Ahead: @ Minnesota (right meow), @ Washington (6/1 - 6/3), vs. Houston (6/5 - 6/7).  Ugh, the Nationals.  I hate National League baseball, having the pitchers hit is barbaric, get out of the 19th century and bring in the DH for christs sake.  Bryce Harper is on the same douche level as Brett Lawrie, I can't stand that guy.  The Nationals are playing great baseball, so it'll be a challenge especially because the Jays have been traditionally garbage in National League parks.  Then the Astros come in next weekend, the Jays better have revenge on their mind after they got their ass handed to them in Houston a couple of weeks ago.

The NBA Finals, and the Stanley Cup Final (why is one the Finals and one the Final???)are upon us.  I still say the Warriors are going to win the NBA Title, but I am going to have to change my Stanley Cup pick to the Chicago Blackhawks.  I just can't discount what they have done in the past, plus they looked down and out against Anaheim but they came storming back.  I would like to see the Lightning win too, because it will be nice for Stamkos to win a Cup in Tampa before he joins the Leafs in free agency in a couple of years. 

As for the NBA Finals I hope they are a lot better than the Conference Championships were, because those games were boring, and they were over in a blink of an eye which bring us too...

A full fucking week between the Conference finals and the Finals?  C'Mon bud that's just absurd, what the fuck else is going on at the Q in Cleveland and at Oracle Arena in Oakland that can't be bumped for the Finals?  It's probably more to do with TV, ABC pays a shit ton of money to air the Finals so they probably had a big say in the matter which is completely ridiculous.  I suppose this allows the players to rest some nagging injuries from a long season and a deep playoff run, but for fucks sakes let's just get this show on the road.

I think it's awesome that Blue Jays, and Raptors fans travel so well.  Jays fans from Vancouver take over Seattle when they play there, when I saw the Raptors in Detroit back in March there was easily just as many if not more Raptors fans at the Palace compared to Pistons fans.  So when the Jays were in Minnesota this weekend, lots of fans came down from Manitoba and Saskatchewan to watch their favourite team live.  Those people aren't the Squids of the Week, it was these fucking assholes from Saskatchewan who showed up to the game in their Rough Riders gear.  Give me a fucking break losers.  You guys are at a BASEBALL game, and you show up in Rough Riders gear?  These were old fuckers too, who should really know better.  They should be ashamed of themselves.  I love the CFL and I do have Ti-Cats gear, did I consider for one fucking second to wear it when I saw the Jays in Cleveland?  Absolutely not, despite rumours to the contrary I do have a functioning brain.

Look at these squids, while these aren't the Squids of the Week that I saw in Minnesota, but for wearing a fucking Watermelon on your head and painting your face you are permanent squids.  Saskatchewan sucks, why anyone would want to live their is beyond me, 8 months of winter leads in to CFL season, that's all those assholes have going for them - Snow, Wheat and the shitty Rough Riders.