Last week was all doom and gloom for the Jays, they suffered through some terrible pitching performances and slipped to a few games below .500 - what a difference a week makes, which just goes to show you how incredibly long the baseball season is, and how reactionary garbage clown Jays fans are the absolute worst.
Since we last spoke the Jays have gone 4-1 turning in some impressive pitching performances along the way. Is one week enough to wipe away the memories of a mediocre April? Not quite yet, but it feels a fuck of a lot better than it did last week. Only Marco "Polo Erik" Estrada lost last week and he was a victim of shitty run support and some bad bounces. Dickey and Buerhle were vintage, Sanchez turned in a fantastic performance, and while Hutch got into some trouble yesterday he managed to weasel out of it. Best of all the bullpen got some much needed rest throughout this stretch as they were relied on a lot less than they were in April.
The offense is starting to kick it into high gear, sweet hollering fuck this offense is incredible. Yeah they will have days where they can't hit worth shit - that's baseball - but those games are going to be few and far between. That gauntlet of Josh Donaldson, Jose Bautista, Edwin Encarnacion and Russell Martin should send shivers through the spine of the American League, especially since EE is starting to heat up. This is all without Jose Reyes or Michael Saunders, once 100% healthy and firing on all cylanders this offense will be a force to be reckoned with.
To think the garbage clowns were calling him "Russell Clarkson" a week into the season when he was slumping - these people are fucking squids and as far as I am concerned anyone who said that should turn in their fan card immediately - we don't need these assholes on board.
The Week Ahead: vs Boston (this afternoon) @ Baltimore (5/11 - 5/13), @ Houston (5/14 - 5/17). Welp the Jays are off to a shitty start thus far, but I am not worried about a 4-0 lead with 8 innings to go in the game with this offense. The Trash Birds again?? Well this should be interesting. I wonder how many anger-dingers Jose Bautista will hit? One thing is for sure if some shithead like Darren O'Day throws at Bautista they should get a fuck of a lot more of a 14 game suspension than what Brook Jacoby got - I will forever think that suspension is bullshit, MLB is fucked.
The Jays are then off to Houston who somehow have the best record in the American League. I don't buy it, remember the 2009 Blue Jays that were in first place and fell apart like a Chinese Motorcycle in May? That will be your future, Astros. It'll be nice to see Colby Rasmus again, I thought he got a bit of a raw deal in Toronto and I hope everything works out for him. They better have good Chicken Hot Dogs down in Houston.
Is it me or has the 2nd round of the NBA playoffs been a lot better than the 2nd round of the NHL playoffs? Yeah the NHL has had some last minute goals and some OT games, but for the most part the games are a dull defensive struggle. People joke that you only need to watch the last few minutes of a basketball game, but it's been like that with hockey lately.
The Bulls-Cavs series has been my favourite so far, the shitty thing is watching this series I realize how far away the Raptors are to being on this level, and that makes me sad. Personally I wouldn't mind if either team advances. I would like to see Cleveland break their championship drought, but I really like the Bulls too. Right now all the lower seeded teams are up 2-1 in their series and I love it, upsets like that are what make being a sports fan worth it.
The fucking Habs are sticking around like a bad case of diarrhea. This is the most dis-invested I have been in the NHL playoffs in years (thanks Leafs), but I still want to see the Habs lose and watch their squid fans riot. Tampa was up 3-0 and I was thrilled, I put that picture above on Facebook with the caption "Bloo, Bloo, Bloo, Blanche et Rouge" but since then they've rolled over Tampa, I can't imagine anything more insufferable in the world than if the Habs come back and win this series from 3-0 down.
Once again I apologize to Flames fans for publicly supporting/cursing them. They are down 3-1 in the series heading to Anaheim, and I cant see them coming back. But if the NDP can get elected in Alberta anything can fucking happen!
I've said it before and I'll say it again - Tom Brady, Bill Belli-suck and the New England Patriots are nothing more than dirty rotten cheaters. Every single one of their Super Bowl "victories" has been tainted by cheating - whether it be Spygate or Deflategate (note: I hate the -gate thing, but am resigned to calling it those awful names). It's an entire legacy of cheating and they should all be ashamed of themselves. I think the proper thing for them to do is to return all their Super Bowls.
Tom Brady (pictured squealing on a water slide) is the most guilty of all, he is the one that ordered these balls be deflated, he is the one who lied through his phony baloney press conference, and he is the one who refused to co-operate with the Wells report, trying to throw up road blocks. Reports are out that Tom Brady will be suspended for his actions, personally I think a year long suspension is fair, as he is a rotten cheater but the NFL is soft and will likely only slap him on the wrist and give him a 1 game suspension. Get caught cheating or beat your wife - nothing. Get caught with a joint SUSPENDED FOREVER. That really deserves a....
The Squid of the Week could have easily been Tom Brady, it could've easily been Bill Belli-cheat, but no the Squid of the Week in this whole deflategate fiasco is Patriots owner Robert Kraft.
On top of being an asshole, this squid wears the same fucking suit every day. You're rich bud, you can afford a new suit. Your shitty team got caught red handed, yet he is coming out saying he is "offended" by the report, well I am offended by the Patriots blatant disregard for the rules. Back when this whole shit storm started he spoke to the media demanding the NFL apologize to Brady and his shitty team, well it turns out this squid should be the one apologizing.
I think all this cheating must be ordered from the top, in fact I think the SEC should check into all of his business dealings, if he is willing to go this far in cheating in sports, I can guaran-damn-tee that his business is shady as fuck.
The fact that this asshole is so close to Roger Goodell could well be the reason it has taken 4 months for this report to be released. Goodell is a squid alright, but it's Robert Shitty Kraft who is the Squid of the Week.
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