Is there anything better than getting day drunk on a Monday afternoon watching the Jays kick the ever loving piss out of the dreadful New York Yankees on Opening Day? I don't know about you but that was a little slice of heaven... employment is for suckers.
Everything went off with out a "hutch" yesterday. Drew Hutchison pitched a hell of a ball game giving up only a shitty Yankee Stadium-only solo shot to the short porch in right. While Jose Bautista had a quiet first day at the plate the rest of his team picked up the slack with Edwin taking the parrot for a walk around the bases for the first time this season, putting an exclamation point on the 5 run third inning.
That cretin Gregg Zaun and that disheveled old fart Bob Elliott were all worried about the amount of rookies on the team, but as The Who taught us years ago The Kids are Alright. Miguel Castro is a beast... fuck that guy is going to be good. Yeah Zaun Cherry is getting all poopy pants because he "didn't pay his dues" but as Alex Rios would say "Who gives a fuck?!?" He could be 20, 30 or 60 for fucks sakes if he pitches as well has he did yesterday and throughout the spring put him out there, don't send him to AAA just because of some bullshit code.
image courtesy AndrewStoeten.com
Devon "White" Travis looked particularly good, drawing two walks and hitting a home run for his first major league hit, he definitely earned that second base job. I loved the silent treatment he got on the bench when he came in after his dinger, that stuff always makes me laugh. Jose Reyes getting hurt scared the bejesus out of me, the guy's ligaments are made out of discarded McDonald's wrappers, it's almost feels inevitable that he is going to spend some time on the DL this season. They need him healthy if that means playing him at DH or giving him extra days off, so be it.
All in all it was a successful day of baseball which left me wanting more!! Which brings us to this weeks.....
I wait all fucking winter and sit through an seemingly endless Spring Training yearning for Opening Day, it comes, and then bang off day. What the fuck? Since when is there a off day in the middle of a bloody series? C'Mon bud I want to watch the Jays tonight and every night until they win the World Series. The Raptors don't play tonight, even the shitty Leafs aren't on TV, what do they expect me to do read a book?? Communicate with the outside world? Not fuckin happening bud.
The Week Ahead: @ New York Yankees (4/8-4/9) @ Baltimore (4/10-4/12). The Jays continue their series in the Bronx on Wednesday with old man Dickey taking the bump, but I am really interested in seeing Daniel Norris' start on Thursday. The Jays are really going to rely on Sanchez and Norris this year, I'm not shook about it like the old guard is, but that being said I don't think the rope is very long for them. They play at 3 pm in Baltimore on Friday, FINE I'll get day drunk and watch that game if you insist! Fuck the Orioles anyways, I hope they crash down to earth as they've been lucky as fuck the last couple of seasons.
It was once again a tale of two teams with the Raptors last week. They were impressive last Monday beating the Rockets at home, the D was great, and they hit clutch shots, then it was nice of them to being on the winning end of a blow out against Minnesota. But then they lost to the Nets and Celtics, ugh. Unlike the great Jon Taffer I embrace excuses, the Raptors have a playoff spot wrapped up and have for months, the Nets and Celtics are fighting for their playoff lives and are playing balls out. Both those games could've gone either way, yeah it is a little distressing to see them lose those games, but I take that game against the Rockets as a better sign of where the team is as opposed to the two losses.
On the brightside with Amir Johnson out, my boy Tyler "The White Mamba" Hansbrough started on Saturday and played one of his best games in a Raptors uniform, earning himself a standing ovation from the Air Canada Centre faithful.
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Kyle Lowry's back has continued to keep him sidelined, and Masai Ujiri went on the radio today and said while his back is improving there is still no time table for his return... which makes me a little bit nervous. There is only 5 games left in the season, and they're all against sub-.500 teams, so I don't think he should be rushed back unless he is 100% but time is running out quickly.
The Week Ahead: @ Charlotte (4/8), @ Orlando (4/10), @ Miami (4/11). Like I just said a pretty light schedule, but both Charlotte and Miami are battling for a playoff spot, so they are going to be playing with a little bit extra just like Brooklyn and Boston did. The Raptors also can't ever beat Charlotte in Charlotte for some unknown reason. The Raptors need to be spoilers here, fuck these guys, eliminate them from playoff contention and have fun doing it.
Is it even worth mentioning that there is only 2 games left in this miserable Leafs season? I haven't watched in weeks and as a result my over all "give a shit-o-meter" in hockey is at it's lowest level it's been at in years, maybe ever. Playoff hockey is awesome, and I might start watching again and start cheering for whoever plays the Habs. Which brings us too....
This time of year the Maple Dicks stiffen and say "you gotta cheer for the Canadian teams in the playoffs" No I fucking don't! I would never ever ever cheer for the Montreal Canadiens, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing ISIS. I hope the fucking Sens miss the playoffs by a single point earning them a shitty draft pick. The Sedin Twins are creepy as fuck and they make me uncomfortable. I really don't have anything against Winnipeg or Calgary, because they have long suffering fans, but I am not going to cheer for them simply because they are a Canadian team. Honestly who gives a shit that no Canadian team has won the cup since 1993, I will be horrified if the Habs won the Cup this season. Anyone who is a Leafs fan but would be happy to see the Habs win the cup "because they're Canadian" is not only a squid of the week, they are a permanent squid who will never, ever have that label revoked.
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