Sunday, June 14, 2015

Jays Riding High

Riding High... Snoop Dogg... get it??
  
Welp, this is pretty fucking fantastic.  A 10 game winning streak for the Blue Jays with 11 in a row at stake against the shitting puking fucking shit puke Red Sox this afternoon.  This win streak has been incredible, come from behind wins, walk off wins, extra innings wins.  I am on Cloud Fucking 9 over this team and I hope they can keep it up.


 The 7th inning of the game on Friday was one of the greatest things I have ever seen in sports. 9 straight batters reaching base and all 9 of them coming around to score.  What a spectacle that was, I was jumping up and down like an asshole, war hooting, the whole 9.  The Jays Facebook account posted a video showing clips from that inning and I'm pretty sure I've watched it between 15 and 20 times already.

Being down 5-0 and 8-1 made it even sweeter, and it is just as sweet because it's against Fuck Face John Farrell and his band of squids, the deplorable Red Sox.  Some people thought the game was over which brings us to this weeks....

  
The Squid of the Week is none other than Your Boy HDH.  I went on Facebook when it was 8-1 and posted a harmless post saying "Welp that 8 game win streak was nice".  I wasn't being a garbage clown about it, there is 100 games left in the year, best case Ontario they still are going to lose another 35-40 games.  I was just resigned to the fact that it was one of those losses, I was at my buddy's and we muted the TV, listened to some tunes, drank a beer or two (or more), and was enjoying my Friday night.  Then they started to chip away, and then there was that 7th Inning.  That 7th Inning is going to go down in history buds. 


I should have never counted out this team, nobody should ever count out this team because as we all witnessed the offense can get them back into any situation.  Maybe because my sports psychology is fucked because of my years of cheering for Toronto I am used to losing that I accept it easier, but the Jays are never going to be out of any game because of this offense, and I will never doubt them again.

At the start of action today the Jays are a measly 1 game out of the AL East.  But remember according the garbage clowns and assholes like Cathal Kelly, Squid Seixero and Steve Simmons the season is over, and it's been over for weeks.  Let's never forget that Steve Simmons shat out this disgraceful tweet on APRIL 19th


This streak has been so fun.  The Jays went on an 11 game win streak in June 2013, and last May they had a 9 game win streak and that was it, everything else was mediocre and second-rate.  I think this team is different, there is a different make up on the team than in years past, a few losses isn't going to throw the off-kilter.  I think as it stands now the Jays are the favourites to win the AL East.  All that said I never ever thought I'd say this but we need that Pig Fucker Jonathan Papelbon.


Pull the trigger AA.  Go all in this year, Papelbon is putting up great numbers on a mediocre Phillies team, and he is still owed a ton of money but for fucks sakes pay the man.  Get BumbleFuck Eddie and the rest of those Rogers dickheads to pony up the dough and let's do this.  Papelbon would not only immediately stabilize the bullpen (which has been A LOT better lately).  But it will show the players that ownership and management believes in this team and is serious about potentially going to the World Series. 

Last year much ado was made when Jose Bautista and Casey Jansen complained to the media over the Jays lack of moves at the deadline, and from that point forward the season really fizzled out.  This will show the team and the rest of the MLB that the Jays are serious about winning a World Series title.  Ughhhhh, I will still hate Papelbon until the moment he puts on a Jays hat.  Papelbon was one of the most reprehensible of Red Sox, I just wanted to put him in the Sharpshooter every time I saw him (and every time he got a save against the Jays).  But like Jerry Seinfeld famously said, sports is all about cheering for laundry, and as long as he is playing for the Jays I will have to learn to like that pig fucker.

The Week Ahead: @ Boston (right meow) @ New York Mets (6/15-6/16) vs. New York Mets (6/17-6/18) vs. Baltimore (6/19-6/21).  The Jays are looking like they will be winning 11 in a row!!! HAHAHAHA The Red Sox are playing like bumbling assholes and I am loving every second of it.  Fuck you John Farrell!!  

Ugh, National League games, I have said it before and I will say it again Pitchers batting is barbaric and the National League needs to get with the times and adopt the DH.  The Mets are leading the NL East, but who gives a fuck, lets kick the snot out of those dorks.  Then the dreaded Trash Birds come in next weekend, the Orioles have quickly become one of my most hated of teams.  Buck Showalter has already earned squid of the week honours, and don't be surprised if someone on the Trash Birds takes the title next week.


While we're on the topic of baseball, this week's C'Mon Bud goes to the All-Star game voting process and the fact that 7 Kansas City Royals could be voted in has starters for the All-Star game.  C'Mon Bud the All-Star game is overblown and stupid enough as it is, why would I want to see fucking Omar Infante and Kendrys Morales.  Yeah the KC Royals are defending American League champions but who gives a flying fuck.  It just shows how flawed the All-Star game voting process is, the fact that Mike Fucking Moustakis has more votes than Josh Donaldson is a crime.  Salvador Perez is beating Russell Martin and Eric Hosmer is beating Miguel Cabrera, it's obscene.  The shitty thing too is the All-Star game actually matters in baseball because the winner gets home field in the World Series.  They have to drop fan voting in All-Star games in all sports, Kobe Bryant was voted as an All-Star last year and he only had played a handful of games for christs sake and was injured for the year.  I know they want the fans involved, but let's face it most fans are complete mouth breathing morons. 


It was so great to be back at Tim Horton's Field last Monday.  Fuck I love it there, it was nice to see the gang that sits around us in Section 107. Nice to pay $9 for shitty Molson Canadian, nice to see the former Scott Park High School look like the aftermath of the Oklahoma City bombing while they tear it down.  It was especially nice to see the Ti-Cats win yet another game at Horton's Field... undefeated there buds!   

The Ti-Cats kicked the shit out of the awful Ottawa RedBlacks using their second stringers.  The heckling was in in mid-season form too buds, holy christ did the RedBlacks hear it all night.  It was easy to mock this team, in a pre-season game you can make jokes about them getting cut.  We ripped into the whole team right away and number 32 Jermaine Robinson of the RedBlacks made the mistake of beaking back at us. 

We had our target.

Here are some of the Heckles of the Week:

"Hey Robinson!!! Don't worry when you get cut, I hear the Lingerie League is still holding try-outs" - Me

"The following people are cut: 32, Robinson.  That is all" - Ando

"Hey 55 Super-Fat Milli Vannilli wants their look back" - Jeff

There was plenty more but I had a few drinks and forgot to write them down in my phone.  The theme of the night was definitely getting cut.  Because of the god awful Pan Am Games the Ti-Cats play their first 4 games on the road, with the home opener not being until August 3rd against the shitty Argos.  I can't wait buds.


The NBA and NHL will finally end their marathon seasons this week.  With the Blue Jays playing so well The Finals and Final have been on the back burner.  That being said the NBA Finals has been so very much better than the Stanley Cup.  I am actually extremely bored with the Stanley Cup, it's all defensive garbage until the last few minutes... the NHL has turned into the NBA in the sense that you only need to tune into the last few minutes.  I still think Golden State and Chicago will win.  Cleveland and Lebron are running out of gas, it's Lebron vs. everybody now and the guy has played late into June the last 5 seasons, on top of the Olympics in 2012, he needs a break!  Golden State and Curry haven't even been that impressive, but they're still going to win.  Chicago should wrap it up tomorrow night.  Yawn. 

 

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