Big Brother Canada 2 Week 7 Thoughts

The good news is the Gremlins have been split up, the bad news is Slobrina is still in the house.  While Rachelle offered very little this season, at least she was easy on the eyes.  While I am once again disappointed that we have to be plagued with another week of Slobrina, I see the Sloppy Seconds' point in getting out Rachelle.  Rachelle has at least won a competition or two, while the only thing Slobrina has won is the scorn of a nation.  This type of strategy annoys me even though I begrudgingly admit it is the correct one, keep stringing along the dead weight no matter how irritating they are because they can't win shit.  The worst part about this week is that had a Gremlins love montage before the eviction... ugh what a waste of my time.

This brings me to Adel's strategy.... PS bud if you're going to be making a dramatic speech with wild arm gestures you might want to check your shirt for pitters.  He says he is going to piss off every jury member in order for people to keep taking him to final 2, and then "explain himself" at the final episode.  I am not too sure about it... I suppose it could work, but if he is going up against either Jon or Neda, even Heather in Final 2 I don't think he has a chance of winning.... obviously if Slobrina slithers her way to the Final 2 he would easily beat her because she is awful at everything.

Other Random Thoughts:

Do I even have to mention how annoying Slobrina's meltdown was at this point?  Get her the fuck off my TV forever please.

I thought the strategy session with Jillian and Emmit from last year was a dumb idea, but it actually wasn't too bad watching it on TV, despite Emmit's continued insistence on wearing a god damned cowboy hat.  I still think Neda will win it all, and that advice might've helped give her a boost!

Speaking of Neda I love how over the shitty Twistos (tm) Twists she is... we all are, I hate how BBCAN thinks they need to shove twists down our throats to keep things interesting.  While I was happy when Asshole Andrew and Slobrina were put up as Canadas vote, it really derailed the game for the First 5, and I don't like how an outside influence changed the face of the game (even if it was to a result I like!)

The Veto Competition was awful, mainly because of the involvement of Alan Thicke and Peter.  It's bad enough the commercial for "Unusually Thicke" is on 17 times during each broadcast of Big Brother (the show looks absolutely awful too) then we had a cameo appearance by Thicke himself, has this dork done anything since Growing Pains?  I heard the house got to watch the premiere of the show.... did they lose a have-not competition?  Then that holier than thou dork Peter came sauntering out to host the competition.  Yeccch.  Last night on the side show they had a montage of Rachelle saying how cute he is (he has been drooling over Rachelle all season).  I am sure Rachelle's boyfriend was pumped about that.

Jon won HOH! Which all but assures that him and Neda will be in the Final 3... unless they do something untoward.  I wish I could report that Slobrina is the target.... she is not.  From what I have read this morning, they are going to target Heather for eviction, you know the same "strong player" argument they had to get Rachelle out.... ugh just get Slobrina out of the god damned house already before I got completely mental!

Big Brother Canada 2 Week 6 Thoughts

What a week to fall behind on this shitty blog! I spent the last few days in London with my family for Easter and missed both the Thursday and Sunday episodes, and didn't have access to a computer to watch them online.  Last week I spilled a bunch of beer on my laptop which fried the fucker, so my Dad gave me his old one to tide me over for now... but it is a Windows XP machine that may have been put together in the Stone Age, so streaming the episodes did not go over well (even writing this stupid article is choppy as fuck) So I just watched the last two episodes on my phone.... I should've thought of that when I was stuck in traffic on the shitty bus back here!  Anyways the Twistos (tm) Twists were out in full force this week, both forced by the producers and otherwise!

First we had Arlies eviction and the way we got there.  Things were looking good, Jon smartly and justifiably put up the Gremlins, I was pretty happy about that, everyone else was happy about it, but Neda convinced him he needed to make a "big move" and back-door Arlie.  I kind of get that, as much as no one likes the Gremlins they are both useless and can be evicted whenever.  So Jon won POV removed Rachelle and put up Arlie. So everyone now knows that Arlie is the target, might as well not stir things up..... but wait Allison chimes in saying she is going to use her Secret POV on Sabrina, why in the name of fuck did she do this?!?!  I am pretty sure she said it was her last chance to use it, but even if that is the case why bother?  As mentioned, Arlie was the confirmed target there was no need whatsoever to stir the pot even more.  What a complete dunce... but more on her later.  What was even STUPIDER was the fact that Allison and the Gremlins did not take Arlie up on his offer to form an alliance.  While I like Jon and Neda that would have spelled doom for them.  Hindsight is always 20/20 and they're kicking themselves now, but keeping Adel is the dumbest thing they have done... they blew it!  Honestly these people are fucking retarded, asking them to do anything smart in this game is like asking a goldfish to climb a tree.

I guess with me being behind on this means I can talk about the Sunday episode, which was surprise surprise yet another Twistos (tm) Twist with the Instant Eviction.  It wasn't terribly surprising that Neda made Allison the target and she went home.  To be honest I have been pretty disappointed with Allison's gameplay this season, I was pretty happy when she got in the house, but she about as useful as a fart in a windstorm all season.  I suppose she was put behind the 8 ball right away with the rest of the house being there 2 weeks forming bonds and alliances before she got in the house.  Then she just got herself into an insufferable showmance with Asshole Andrew, which didn't help her case at all.  Anyways, her needlessly using her secret POV on Slobrina sealed her fate, she didn't offer anything anyways, and will not be missed!

So as we all know now the fucking Gremlins are thankfully nominated again, and hopefully it will be Slobrina going home, but I have a feeling it is going to be Rachelle.  Obviously they want to boot out the stronger player, and Rachelle has won competitions while Slobrina is as useless as tits on a bull and has won fuck all.  Like I said I didn't watch the show last night live but I was following my Twitter and people were all shocked and outraged at Adel's speech to the Gremlins, personally I loved Adel's speech when he put up the Gremlins, big fucking deal if they get jury votes, that is the last gasp for any loser in the house (and Slobrina is the biggest loser of them all!) to threaten the jury vote  In the end the jury always gets it right anyways and votes for the deserving winner no matter how bitter they seem at the time.

Other Random Thoughts

The Marsha the Moose thing this week with the rest of the house pump-faking Adel while he went on his mission was hilarious, and the drunken shenanigans that ensued were as well.  Stuff like that separates BBCAN from BBUSA, I know some other BB fans don't like that stuff but I don't mind it, keeps things entertaining!

I can't believe they showed Rachelle peeing in the hot tub, people who watch the live feeds have been talking about it for weeks now.  Now I am not going to sit here and say I've never pissed a pool before, but seeing the yellow come flowing out made me gag... of course Slobrina continued to sit in there stewing in it.

I thought it was funny when all the house guest got a certain important memento from home, Rachelle got something from her Great Grandmother who was a holocaust survivor, Neda got her Canadian Citizenship Certificate, Adel got some bloody religious thing but Jon..... he got a shitty t-shirt they got from some two bit gift shop in Newfoundland for $6.99.

Well that about wraps it up this week, I'll have another one these up after the Thursday episode when hopefully there is no Twistos (tm) Twist fucking diamond power of veto or any more meddling bullshit and one of the Gremlins is thankfully shown the door

Big Brother Canada 2 Week 5 Thoughts

Welp if it wasn't already the First 5 alliance is officially dead.  I had mixed feelings about them I thought Andrew was an arsehole and I LOATHE Sabrina, I kind of flip flop on that headcase Arlie, but I didn't mind Kenny or Sarah, and I am kind of sad to see them both go.  I do prefer Jon and Neda over Kenny and Sarah, but still it does stink to see good players go, too bad that Kenny and Sarah were shackled with dead weight like Sabrina (in her case that is a lot of weight) a hothead in Andrew and a flip flopper in Arlie, but so is the nature of the Big Brother beast.  I will miss Sarah, she has been one of my favourites this year... it is weird that they all called her "Mumsie" and she is pretty much the same age as I am, I don't know if I should feel old, pathetic or both... certainly nobody would ever look up to me as a father figure like she was a mother figure in the house! Plus mad props for that skeleton outfit, I don't know if she did that as an homage to John Entwistle of The Who, but he was the first to rock that outfit, and that's what I think of when I see it.  Sadly I think she sealed her own fate this week with Kennys help.  First she did that huge celebration when Kenny won veto, and then Kenny went to Heather and perhaps did the shittiest negotiations of all time in an last ditch effort to keep her in the game, it was pretty much curtains for her, and she knew it!

This will be a recurring theme of this shitty blog until this beast is eliminated but good lord do I ever hate Slobrina.  It was absolutely dreadful when she confronted Allison last night when it became apparent that she turned her back on the First 5 and was going to align with The "Sloppy Seconds" (I love that name btw) Slobrina, or Sobrina was blubbering away, speaking about their friendship in the past tense, saying that she was going to invite her to her house after the show but not anymore.  Give me a break, it's like she is in fucking Grade 3.  Plus she is absolutely useless in any and all competitions, even during that stupid sock puppet thing they were told NOT to break character, and it was revealed that the others broke character maybe 1-5 times, she broke character a whopping 21 times!! Get your shit together Slobrina, and for my own sanity she better be out of the house next week.

Neda is by far playing the smartest game so far.  If she doesn't end up winning the $100K and the lifetime supply of Twistos then I'll be shocked.  Winning when she has too, laying low when necessary...  great strategy too throwing away all the condiments so Kenny didn't have them for his slop.  I am liking her game more and more each week but for christ sakes woman eat a sandwich or something, she is a bloody toothpick!  She was behind the eviction of Kenny, perhaps the strongest player thus far this season and his eviction went flawlessly.  She is going to win this game.

Other Random Thoughts: 

Allison has put herself in a decent position with having that special Veto power.  The whole thing where she was tracking down clues was kind of intense, I imagine her heart was pounding throughout that, and mine kind of was too.  It was definitely a smart gamble on her part not to use it on herself right away knowing that Sarah was likely to go home.  Speaking of veto powers... whatever happened to Adel's?? Like I said in this space a few weeks ago that the power was useless and whack as fuck, I think even he forgot about it.

Speaking of the Veto competition, those spelling ones will forever remind be of Jeff spelling "Technotronics" on Big Brother 11.

I am so sick of these god damned cliffhanger HOH competitions this season, it seems like it has happened every week so far!  I am a Nosey Parker and can't help but read the spoilers so the first 15 minutes of the Sunday episode is wasted while they go through the HOH competition... the worst was this past Sunday when they re-played EVERYTHING from last Thursday on the Sunday episode.  For once can they have an HOH comp be decided on the fucking episode?

Heather kind of looks like Sandra Bernhard

I like how Big Brother fucked with them on the Sunday episode making them think it was an instant eviction, better yet it exposed Slobrina, when she exclaimed right away that she would vote out Rachelle...despite the fact there was no nominations! I think Rachelle got a little payback when she was the only one who voted to evict her over Kenny last night.

I watch the Big Brother Side show after the Thursday episode, and I have to say that Peter is a fucking douchebag.  I don't know where that dork comes off thinking he is some kind of Big Brother genius, the guy won JACK SHIT last year (oh yeah he was 'throwing' it all) but he comes down on all these other houseguests when they are evicted telling them how terrible they were to their face.  Go back to sniffing Liza's hairband you tool.

Jury has to be coming up soon, but if you notice there is 8 houseguests left, which would leave an even number of jury members....which leads me to believe that the 7th jury spot will be going to Canada in yet another Twistos(tm) Twist!

Speaking of Twistos, I finally had them and well, they aren't very good, but certainly aren't the worst thing I had.  They reminded me of croutons, I am sure they would've been better with some kind of dip, but hey that didn't stop me from eating the whole bag.

Before I get into the spoiler, I have some sad news for you all, I am not sure when I will get this blog posted next week.  I'll be getting the fuck out of dodge for Easter I may be in Hamilton I may be in London next Thursday but I don't know if I will even watch the show (drinking and catching up with friends is a definite priority!), let alone be near a computer to do a blog, but rest assured I will do one once I get caught up, it may not be until the Monday though! I apologize to the 10 or so readers of this!

Woo-Hoo!!! Jon won HOH! Which hopefully spells curtains for that awful Sabrina, she certainly will not win veto, so I am guessing that her and Rachelle go up and that Sabrina will be the first member of the Jury House!

Big Brother Canada 2 Week 4 Thoughts

The First 5 alliance is dead, and I am very happy about that.  To nobodies surprise Canada nominated two of the most insufferable members of the First 5, Asshole Andrew and Slobrina, though I really wanted Sabrina out and still do I am certainly not going to shed any tears that Asshole Andrew is gone... he shed enough for all of us this past week!  Andrew really was a hot-headed dickhead, I couldn't believe it when he chewed out Heather, calling her a "dumb bitch" because she picked Adel over Kenny to be in the veto competition.... why should she do what he wanted?  He's a bully and with his exit ends the dreadful showmance between him and Allison, which thankfully has been the only one this season.  While it must've been a shitty feeling knowing that the whole country voted to evict you... he deserved it.

Ugh, as I mentioned I am happy Andrew is gone but I wish it was that Bootleg Kardashian Sabrina.  She has quickly become my most reviled houseguest.  I hate her waterworks, every two seconds she is in tears about something.  My cousin who "listens" to the live-feeds at work says that she is every bit as annoying on them as she is on the show.  I hate the sound of her voice too, I hate how she pronounces "A's" Ahhhhndrew, Caahhhhnahhhndaahhh and whatnot.  I thought it was funny when she was wondering aloud if Canada thinks she is a bitch - yes Slobrina, we do.

I think I have mentioned every week how much I like Jon Pardy.... how can you not love a Newfie who's last name is Pardy. His alliance with Neda and Adel is my favourite thing going in the house right now, I am hoping they use Arlie and Heather to pick off the remaining members of the First 5 (although I do like Kenny and Sarah still).  I said last week that Neda is my pick to win it all, but I hope that Jon wins!  By the way, when they showed the Newfie party on the Thursday episode with Jon, Allison and Kenny's friends and families, didn't Jon's girlfriend kind of look like Neda??  I can't be the only one who thought that....

Other Random Thoughts:

I know who won HOH but I will post the spoiler at the end of this...

I still think Arlie is completely mental, but he has actually grown on me recently.  I am glad he is the first one to turn his back on the ridiculous First 5 alliance... alliances should NOT be made off the bat, and for christs sake these idiots just walked in the house at the same time, that doesn't mean they should be a controlling alliance. I don't know why but he makes me laugh, and isn't that the whole point of watching any TV show is to be entertained?? He is entertaining to say the least, despite the fact that he belongs in the looney bin.

As I alluded to earlier I am disappointed in Allison's time in the house so far.  She had so much promise, being a Super-Fan from Newfoundland, but so far she has failed to live up to expectations, embroiling herself in that insufferable showmance with Andrew and then doing nothing of use so far.  I suppose it's early but I can see her being evicted soon, especially with the double eviction on the horizon.

Arisa Cox will never be Julie Chen, everyone and their dog knows that, but Christ all mighty enough with the bloody dramatic pauses.  When she revealed Canada's nominations on the Sunday episode what should've taken 90 seconds seemed like it took an hour and a half.  Just cut the bullshit already and give us the goods straight up Julie Chen stylez.

I hate comparing the USA version to the Canadian version, but there is certain stuff that happens on BBCAN that would never happen on BBUSA.  First things first, leaving the HOH competition hanging is ONLY meant for endurance competitions, not the shitty little 50/50 quizzes like we saw this past Thursday, and earlier this season when that dork Paul refused to go across the zipline.  Plus the buzzer malfunction on the episode last night?? How does that even happen!?!?! That was just embarrassing and made Big Brother Canada look budget.  Julie Chen wouldn't tolerate this shit and neither should you. 

So after we were left hanging in that ridiculous HOH comp, it was fucking Heather who ended up winning!  While I am glad it is not Sabrina, I find Heather to be quite annoying and the sooner she is gone the better.  That being said she has started to side with the people in the house that I want to win (Jon, Neda, Adel, Arlie) and that being said I think she SHOULD put up Kenny and Slobrina, but I think it will end up being Rachelle and Kenny.  With the Double Eviction happening next week who knows what will happen next, but with any luck Slobrina is gone!