Alright you fucking amateur comedians, I suppose we need to start planning the parade because the Leafs actually won a game (albeit against the woeful Oilers), man those plan the parade jokes are SO funny and original... is your shitty bar gonna offer free beer during Leafs playoff games too? That one won't get old either. You might as well be fucking Buzz Killington telling those jokes right before getting to a story about a bridge. Leafs bashing is as old as the hills, for the love of god come up with some new fucking jokes, screaming about parades and 1967 isn't funny. I like a good joke as much as the next guy, even if it comes at mine or my teams expense. My uncle (a Leafs basher) came up with "There is no Reimer reason that guy should be in the NHL" that is actually funny, get creative with photoshops, just any joke about planning a parade is beyond stupid, because let me tell you the parade IS planned, and it will be the grandest parade the world has ever seen and I will be front and center with my shirt off chugging beers. It's going to be worth all these years of agony once the Leafs finally do win the Stanley Cup. The next few seasons will be tough in Leafland, I know everyone and their uncle is calling for the Leafs to tank for McDavid, but one pick isn't going to turn things around... look at Edmonton, how many number one picks have they had? The key is to draft smart in the 2nd, 3rd, 4th rounds and beyond, it's like my fantasy football teams, I always get a good high draft pick, then surround them with assholes and I miss the playoffs every fucking year. I think Brendan Shanahan has put together the right brain trust to draft smart... and thank fuck that won't include Dave Nonis. It's high time that squid get shown the door, too bad he can't take David Clarkson's contract with him. Remember when Nonis signed Clarkson and he said "I am not worried about Year 5" ugh... he must've known he would've been fired after year 2 of that horrific contract. The Clarkson signing is going to plague this team for years to come. It's gonna be a slow rebuild, but it's something that should've been done years ago. Ever since they introduced the hard cap the Leafs have been a fucking tire fire because nobody has had a single clue how to run the team properly, it'll take a while to clean up a decade of futility.
The Week Ahead: vs. New York Rangers (2/10), @ New York Islanders (2/12), @ Montreal (2/14). Believe it or not the Leafs didn't play that horrifically last week, they had horrible luck against Nashville... well I didn't watch the New Jersey game because the Raptors are on (who in their right mind would watch the Leafs over the Raptors these days) and they made short work of the terrible Oilers. All that good will undoubtedly fly out the window this week as they play 3 playoff teams. As long as they beat those god forsaken toilet seat logo Habs I will be happy. The Habs are a fucking joke of a franchise, I wonder if we're going to have to endure a 45 minute pre-game ceremony honouring some plug that played for the team in 1968. One of these days I hope someone drops that stupid torch and melts a big patch in the ice and the Habs are forced to forfeit.
If you told me last week the Raptors would go 2-2 I would think that sounded about right, considering they played two teams worse than them in the East and then the always tough Clippers and the defending champs. The exact opposite happened, they played like complete dog shit against the Bucks and the Nets, and in the first quarter against the Clippers... but then James Johnson happened. James Johnson had a hurt hamstring and missed a few games, and in the games before he was hurt Dwane Casey had him inexplicably nailed to the bench. James Johnson is the People's Champ. When he came off the bench to play the Clippers he got a roaring round of applause from the ACC faithful. He started the game against the Spurs yesterday and delivered the dagger against the Champs denying Pop his 1,000th win. He does what the rest of the Raptors don't seem to do... drive the ball to the hoop. Take the game against the Bucks where they looked awful they were 7 for 27 from 3-point range and 32% overall, they keep insisting on throwing up 3's despite if they are hitting them or not (Lou Williams I'm looking in your direction), and taking horribly contested jump shots. I don't want to dwell on the negative considering those Clippers and Spurs wins were huge but why was my boy Big V nailed to the bench against the Bucks? He was the only starter who showed up in the first half and got a double double... for that he was awarded 5 minutes of playing time in the entire second half. Anyways the last 3 quarters of the Clippers game and the Spurs game last night was two of the better games I have seen all year from the Raptors, I was so happy watching that Spurs game, it's always nice to beat the champs! It's good to have some momentum going into the All-Star break.
The Week Ahead: vs. Washington (2/11). One fucking game because of the All-Star break and of course it's on Wednesday the night I have trivia. The NBA is experimenting with a prolonged All-Star break this year, and you know what I don't have a problem with it, I know they're millionaire athletes but an 82 game schedule is a grind, we're in the February doldrums now so it'll be good for players to get away for a bit, heal up some nagging injuries and come back refreshed. The game itself against the Wizards should be good, they are two similar teams and have played tight games against each other all year, it's potentially a playoff preview too.
The Week Ahead: vs. New York Rangers (2/10), @ New York Islanders (2/12), @ Montreal (2/14). Believe it or not the Leafs didn't play that horrifically last week, they had horrible luck against Nashville... well I didn't watch the New Jersey game because the Raptors are on (who in their right mind would watch the Leafs over the Raptors these days) and they made short work of the terrible Oilers. All that good will undoubtedly fly out the window this week as they play 3 playoff teams. As long as they beat those god forsaken toilet seat logo Habs I will be happy. The Habs are a fucking joke of a franchise, I wonder if we're going to have to endure a 45 minute pre-game ceremony honouring some plug that played for the team in 1968. One of these days I hope someone drops that stupid torch and melts a big patch in the ice and the Habs are forced to forfeit.
If you told me last week the Raptors would go 2-2 I would think that sounded about right, considering they played two teams worse than them in the East and then the always tough Clippers and the defending champs. The exact opposite happened, they played like complete dog shit against the Bucks and the Nets, and in the first quarter against the Clippers... but then James Johnson happened. James Johnson had a hurt hamstring and missed a few games, and in the games before he was hurt Dwane Casey had him inexplicably nailed to the bench. James Johnson is the People's Champ. When he came off the bench to play the Clippers he got a roaring round of applause from the ACC faithful. He started the game against the Spurs yesterday and delivered the dagger against the Champs denying Pop his 1,000th win. He does what the rest of the Raptors don't seem to do... drive the ball to the hoop. Take the game against the Bucks where they looked awful they were 7 for 27 from 3-point range and 32% overall, they keep insisting on throwing up 3's despite if they are hitting them or not (Lou Williams I'm looking in your direction), and taking horribly contested jump shots. I don't want to dwell on the negative considering those Clippers and Spurs wins were huge but why was my boy Big V nailed to the bench against the Bucks? He was the only starter who showed up in the first half and got a double double... for that he was awarded 5 minutes of playing time in the entire second half. Anyways the last 3 quarters of the Clippers game and the Spurs game last night was two of the better games I have seen all year from the Raptors, I was so happy watching that Spurs game, it's always nice to beat the champs! It's good to have some momentum going into the All-Star break.
The Week Ahead: vs. Washington (2/11). One fucking game because of the All-Star break and of course it's on Wednesday the night I have trivia. The NBA is experimenting with a prolonged All-Star break this year, and you know what I don't have a problem with it, I know they're millionaire athletes but an 82 game schedule is a grind, we're in the February doldrums now so it'll be good for players to get away for a bit, heal up some nagging injuries and come back refreshed. The game itself against the Wizards should be good, they are two similar teams and have played tight games against each other all year, it's potentially a playoff preview too.
MISCELLANEOUS NEWS
The Blue Jays held their State of the Franchise thing last Thursday. It's only for season tickets holders and they get free beer and food and a chance to hear answers to screened questions. Nothing really new came from it, but there is fancy new turf and Paul Beeston is still convinced the SkyDome will have natural grass by 2018... colour me skeptical on that. We got to hear Buck Martinez' lovely voice again, count me in the minority but I have no problem with Buck or Tabby. Alex Anthopolous has the tendency of saying a lot of things, without saying anything at all, so if you missed this don't worry, it's just a sign that baseball is just around the corner! That warms the cockles of my cold winters heart. I am going to write a Spring Training preview separate from my usual Monday ramblings in the next few weeks, so be on the look out for that!
Brandon Banks re-signed with the Ti-Cats! Him and Luke Tasker both made commitments to the Ti-Cats this off-season when they could've gone to an NFL practice squad somewhere, but no they love the Hammer and want to win here. I can't wait to get back to Tim Hortons Field this summer... look for the "Ti-Cats Game Heckle of the Week" on this blog (and hopefully podcast) once the season gets rolling.
Richie Incognito signed with the Bills... not too sure how I feel about that one, he seems like a gigantic arsehole, but the Bills need an offensive lineman and hopefully he's learned his lesson after being away from the game for a year and a half.
Now it's time for everyone's new favourite segment - C'Mon Bud!! Originally my target was going to be Peter Horachek for putting Jonathan Bernier back in the game against Nashville when Optimus Reim was playing well, and the Leafs had the victory.... only to see it fall apart yet again. But then I saw this on my Twitter feed this morning...
C'Mon Bud!! This is absolutely fucking ridiculous, no I didn't read the article, it's probably absolute garbage, and up until this morning I didn't even know The Hockey News still existed. The Hockey Media get all butt-hurt when Phil Kessel doesn't want to talk to them and think that they are idiots, well no fucking wonder, if you see shit like this would you want to talk to the squids? Oh and how cute making a 1967 reference, go fuck yourselves Hockey News. I know that Phil hasn't played well lately, but who has on the Leafs? He is playing with Tyler fucking Bozak, and I am sorry the guy absolutely sucks. He is not anywhere near a first line centre and he is dragging Kessel down with him. Phil is not a fucking coach killer any coach in the league would be lucky to have Phil. It's been a bad go for the Leafs lately and this is piling on. My buddy and I were thinking the other day, imagine Sundin centering Kessel while both were in their primes?? Jesus Christ that would be a lot of goals... buuuuut the Toronto media would probably still say "duhhhhhh Sundin not leader, he no grinder from Mimico, where grit? Phil score 50 goal but he hurt my feelings bloo bloo bloo". I am beginning to think Phil will be better off on another team, not because he sucks but the Leafs are in a complete overhaul now, and why would he waste more of his prime years on the hot garbage Leafs. I would love to see him flourish in anonymity on an American team if only to rub it into Dave Feschuk and the rest of the squids faces.
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