My favourite show is back! This is the fifth edition of Big Brother that I will be providing weekly thoughts on in this shitty blog. This article will be a little one to provide some first impressions of the show and each houseguest. First things first if you're a veteran reader of this blog you know that I hate twists, and I especially hate fucking Twistos Twists. I don't know if it is the typical Canadian little brother syndrome that we feel the need to try and one-up the American version, but Jesus Christ, the third word out of Arisa Cox's mouth tonight was twist, and she must've said twist about 45 times in the first five minutes.
Anyhoo, I suppose the big thing is that they have no furniture, no food no nothing, just a bunch of random looking shit on the wall. I think that is fucking stupid too, Big Brother Canada always tries to be different but it is usually in the stupidest ways possible. The house itself is a lot cooler looking than the last Big Brother USA house, remember the HOH room was a birds nest for christs sake.
As for the episode I like the idea they had of having everyone make two nominations and the two with the most votes are put up. It's kind of silly to have a real HOH right off the jump when you don't know anyone. It should come as no surprise that two women were nominated, I am not going to try and go all sociological on you because I have no clue what the fuck I am talking about but it seems the guys in Big Brother stick together at first while the women all gun after each other. Remember when Joey tried to make an all girls alliance in the last Big Brother USA? She was given the boot immediately. What happened to Girl Power? Didn't the Spice Girls teach you anything??
To nobody's surprise Sindy with an S (ugh) and Busty LaRue were nominated, to everyone's surprise Sindy won veto and put up that weirdo Pilar (Peelee? Pilash?) Now Canada get to vote who gets evicted... I am voting to boot Pilar, I am not done oogling Risha's sweater puppies. Sindy is also fucking stupid for putting up Pilar because she didn't hug her? Get the fuck out of here, she blew an opportunity to put up an actual physical threat because she was being catty.
Here are my initial thoughts on each house guest even though I have to look at the website to remember their names/faces:
Ashleigh: Hey bad girl, your number up for grabs?
Bruno: Already in fucking tears over his kids, Jesus Murphy I hope this isn't #DevinHasADaughter2.0. He got a lot of votes tonight for an unknown reason. Probably because he is from Ottawa and told everyone he likes the god forsaken Senators.
Brittnee: What an unfortunate spelling of the name Brittany. She lives in NYC, I don't care if she was born in Calgary that should disqualify you from being on the show!
Bobby: I barely remember him being on the show.
Godfrey: His bio was the only one that stood out to me when I was reading them last week, hopefully he delivers on his promises to be a shit disturber in the house.
Graig: I think there was a typo on his birth certificate. Nice fucking hair doo bud, looks like you lost a fight with a weed whacker.
Johnny: I think he's the token gay.... yeah he's the token gay (not that there is anything wrong with that!) Being a super fan will help his game, but he didn't really do anything to stand out yet.
Jordan: There is always at least 1 dork in a bowtie.
Kevin: The Poker Player, he's had some pretty shitty lines so far... and what's the deal with Calgary? Why is half the house from fucking Harper-land, and where are the Newfies?? The only east coaster is fucking Peelee and she was born in Mexico!
Naeha: Chiropractors freak me out, the sound of neck bones cracking give me the boo boo jeebies.
Pilar: How in the name of fuck do you get Pilee from that spelling?? It's like when Karel Pilar played for the Leafs he pronounced his last name Pilash. Anyways I hope she is gone this week, as I don't think I can deal with her Rachel Reilly cackle.
Risha: Chesty LaRue indeed. Everyone seems intimated, but I hope she stays, not just for the boobs but she seems like a interesting character, and it's nice not having someone fresh out of fucking high school on the show.
Sarah: Weed bars are legal? How do I not know about this? So she is playing the hippie dippie angle, who knows if she lasts as long as Talla or is given the boot quickly like Anick. Anyways where do I sign up to be an hemployee??
Sindy: Get the fuck off my TV and that's fuck with an f. I really was hoping she was the one evicted this week, but kudos I guess for winning the veto.
Willow: What a firecracker, I like how she has studied the game and as practiced having cold showers, I think she'll last a while.
Zach: Seems competitive, I can see him lasting a while.
Well that's it for tonight, I will have another (albeit probably small) blog after Wednesdays eviction and each week after the Wednesday show. Give me a follow on the Twitter in the meantime @HDH2112 I will have my official pick on a winner by next week.
No comments:
Post a Comment