Fuck Raps... this is getting very worrisome, the playoffs are fast approaching and it seems the boys are too pre-occupied with that to forget that there is still a dozen or so regular season games left. The Raptors have pretty much been guaranteed a top-4 seed in the horrible Eastern Conference since the first month of the season on account of being on top of the tire fire known as the Atlantic Division, because of that I think they are going into cruise control in these meaningless regular season games and unfortunately they are picking up some bad habits. What fucking drives me bonkers is when they start getting in the weeds they just start throwing up contested jump shots without moving the ball or driving the paint. They really got exposed against Chicago on Friday night, the Bulls are a great team with plenty of playoff experience, and it showed. If we end up playing the Bulls in the first round of the playoffs it's going to be curtains for the boys, Derrick Rose or not. Fortunately for the Raptors they play Mr. Primo Pasta and Sauce himself and the shitty Knicks this afternoon. Granted Bargnani and the Knicks beat the Raptors a few weeks ago, and they recently beat the Spurs, but come on fellas, you need to take advantage and curb stomp these squids back to the stone age.
The Week Ahead: vs. New York (3/22), @ DETROIT (3/24), vs. Chicago (3/25), vs. Los Angeles Lakers (3/27). Why is that @ Detroit bolded, italic and underlined you ask? Only because your boy HDH will be at the Palace of Auburn Hills cheering on the Raps. Fucking beauty seats too bud, best of all I just got a Tyler "White Mamba" Hansbrough shirsey... fuck I am going to get chirped for that, I don't mind that though, getting WWE style cheap heat is hilarious, so long as I don't get stabbed in the Malice at the Palace 2.0 because as you all know despite my large frame I am very delicate. Originally my buddies and I were planning on making a bunch of Jack Armstrong related signs so we can end up on TV, I wanted to get a big print out of his head with a bunch of thought bubbles that said "HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!" and "Get that Gah-Bage Outta Here!" "MGD!!" etc. etc. etc. We would have gotten on TV for sure, but alas like all my drunken plans it has all gone for not.
Jon Taffer needs to go into the Leafs locker room and yell at the Leafs. Shut this miserable season down. I barely watch the games anymore, last nights game against the Sens was the first game I have watched in weeks. I hear the squids going "duhhhh you gotta be professional and compete" they are just kicking these boys when they're down. Of course they've given up on this season, management threw the towel in months ago, why the fuck should they care? Why should we as fans care? See you in October Leafs.
With the NCAA March Madness tournament in full swing, this weeks C'Mon Bud has to go to the assholes at Yahoo! Fantasy Sports. C'Mon Bud why do you treat your shitty website so seriously, I am sure the fucking Pentagon requires less clearance to get in. Everytime I join a Yahoo pool I don't remember my user name and password, so I have to jump through fucking hoops to get them back. It's an irritating 20 minute process, and of course they always reject my passwords because they aren't strong enough...seriously? Plus at my work computer, on my laptop at home, on my phone, on the good downstairs computer these assholes make you enter in a code they text you just to make sure it's you. Why would anyone want to hack into my Yahoo account? It's absolutely insane the steps they make you go through to fill out a fucking bracket and to check it. Plus even though I always click keep me signed in I have to enter my fucking user name and password each god damn time. Speaking of brackets, I filled one out I have Kentucky, North Carolina, Louisville and Gonzaga in my Final Four. I base that on watching absolutely nothing, I haven't followed NCAA at all this season, and really haven't watched too much of the tournament so far. Back in university the first four days of the tournament was the best, classes were skipped, beer was consumed, bets were made and 12 hours of basketball were watched. I miss those days, fuck take me back!! There is too many one-and-done's in NCAA basketball now (not that I blame players for doing that) and that takes away some of the luster of the tournament as far as I am concerned.
There is actually multiple Squids of the Week this week. They are everyone who has anything to do with the fucking Ottawa Senators and that horribly flukey piece of shit Hamburglar Andrew Hammond. Hammond was first the Squid of the Week a few weeks back when his Hamburglar mask was brought to my attention, since then he has played well enough to garner attention from everyone and it is annoying as fuck. The Hamburglar is history's greatest monster, why would you ever want that little asshole on your mask?? Of course I have been chirping the Sens fan I know and my pal Kelso had just enough, someone called me Grimace on Facebook and then this was produced:
Granted the Sens and this loser goaltender have been playing well as of late, but face it assholes you're going to be in the same position as the Leafs after the season - on the outside looking in of the playoff picture. It reminds of a few seasons back when the Leafs had another miserable season, but they got Martin Gerber and he ended up playing really well and the Leafs made a late surge only to end up in 9th place out of the playoffs. It's gonna be the same with the shit-stained Sens, at least the Leafs know they are shit and are going to get an amazing draft pick. The Sens are going to end up trading Robin Lehner, signing the god damned Hamburglar and he's going to turn back into a pumpkin while the Leafs will be rebuilding towards a dynasty. The people I am most disappointed with is the good people at McDonald's. This asshole paints the villain of Hamburgerland on his helmet and you give him free McDonald's for life!?!? I write blog after blog about McDonald's, give you a rave review on your CBO sandwich and all I get is a $10 Gift Card. That hurts. I am officially boycotting McDonald's until this whole Senators thing goes away (which is really only 10 more games when they miss the playoffs). I hope Curtis Lazar got diarrhea from that burger he picked up and ate off that gross ice. IF the Sens make the playoffs, maybe they'll bring back this asshole to get the crowd fired up:
That will always and forever be the worst thing to ever happen in professional sports. Rise Up!!! RIIIIIIIIISEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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