Big Brother Canada 3 Week 6 Thoughts

For the second time this season Sindy was shown the door.  I must admit I was not a fan of her off the hop, the whole "with an S" thing really grinded my gears, plus she is as vain as fuck.   But when she re-entered the house I quickly became a fan because unlike half these bozos she actually PLAYS BIG BROTHER!!

Kudos to Sindy for that, but unfortunately playing the game these days just puts a target on your back.  Too many floaters, too many people "going with the house" Sindy was a breath of fresh air for people who enjoy actual game play.  Whenever an houseguest re-enters they are the automatic target, and as well they should be, once you are evicted that should be it, Big Brother really needs to end this twist, personally I blame Twistos for this.  Sindy played a fuck of a game, her week last week was by far the best in the season so far.  Having her as the tie-breaker for the HOH is stupid though, why should she have any influence once she is gone?

Speaking of stupidity, why does BBCAN insist on these cliffhanger HOH competitions.  It's completely absurd and unnecessary.  Even if you don't actively seek spoilers like I do chances are you will see them, are people supposed to stay of Twitter between 10pm Wednesday and 7 pm Sunday?  You could have got away with that back in the Stone Age before social media but not anymore.  I normally reserve this for my Sports Blogs but that deserves a.....

Really producers, you're not being funny or cute you are just pissing off your core viewers.... again.  C'Mon Bud, you waste 20 minutes of the show on that stupid assed road trip, leaving only 4 fucking minutes for the HOH and expect people to go 4 days without reading spoilers?  By the way what was the point of the road trip thing?? As far as I know they spend a whole day on a treadmill for Willow to get a bottle of champagne to give to Sarah while she is a have not.  Didn't Rachelle get the business for eating a fucking Fuzzy Peach when she was a have not last year?  C'Mon Bud! Get your shit straight!

image courtesy @earthdogBB

Thank God for God.  He is saving this season from being completely unwatchable.  I've agreed with everything he has said this week, especially calling out the stupid showmances, they are there to play Big Brother, not hook-up, make whoopee or whatever you kids are calling it these days.  Seriously it's getting to a point where there should be an age 25 limit, anyone under that age can stay home with their Larry Styles posters and their Tinders and "rock and roll" and let the fucking adults play the game.  Godfrey is hilarious too... he had me cracking up quite a bit this week, saying he was 3.5% white, calling Peelee the complete dunderhead that she is, eating the chicken bones etc.  I said last week I think Bruno is going to win, but I hope the final 2 is....

image courtesy @earthdogBB 

Black and Bru!! I hope these two start running shit.  I think they will, get rid of that pylon Zach first and foremost.  Every time that narrator calls him "Captain Canada" I die a little on the inside. Secondly, ditch Bobby as soon as humanly possible.  That guy is dumb, like it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes dumb.  Obviously Peelee is a moron, but she knows she is stupid, Bobby on the other hand thinks he is smart and King Shit.  Bobby is probably the one I hate the most now, mainly because he so fucking stupid, what's with the fake Veto? Lying about being a Virgin?  Saying he doesn't want to be HOH?  I make notes throughout the week for this blog on my phone and half my messages are "Bobby Sucks" "What is Bobby doing?" and "Does Peeeleee have her Grade 10?"

Black and Bru should work with Sarah, Brittnee and Willow to get rid of the Diaper Alliance (I fucking hate that name) and go from there!  At the end of the day I still think Bruno will win as Godfrey is pretty mouthy, and if it came down to the two of them, the jury would pick Bruno all day.

Other Random Thoughts:

Obviously your boy knows who HOH is... spoilers at the end like usual.

I know I shouldn't make fun of Peeleee because it's not nice to make fun of people with mental difficulties but come on, I don't think there has been a worse player in Big Brother History.  Yeah she has an HOH win under her belt, but that was a fluke and obviously she had absolutely nothing to do with any of the decisions.  I am sorry she just isn't cut out for this game, I am sure she is a really nice girl, but that's the exact opposite of what a Big Brother contestant should be.

Ashleigh is just as useless as Peelee... what a waste.

Willow is a spazz and as annoying as fuck, but I think with more air time she could grow on me. Now that she is working with Sarah, who is a good player she'll start doing something besides screaming and jumping around like Phillip the Hypo-Hyper Kid.

Triple eviction next week??  I wonder how they're going to pull that off, maybe if they stop wasting our time with stupid things like that road trip we'd be OK.  I hate Twistos Twists, but this one sounds interesting.  One things for sure it will sure be a culled house.  Here's hoping a combination of Zach, Ashleigh, Bobby, Peeeeeleeee are gone.

Kevin is HOH.  Not sure how I feel about this, he is in an terrible showmance with that dolt Peeeleee, and is a part of the insufferable diaper alliance, but he has shown flashes of playing the game with his head and not his heart, and I don't think he is afraid of making a big move.  That being said the whole triple eviction this can throw a wrench into it all.

Raptors Disappointment; Orioles = Trash Birds and more!

Well, I guess the season isn't technically over yet, but for all intents and purposes it is, a once promising season landed with a thud.  It's just so depressing, but such as life as a Toronto sports fan.  Really the writing has been on the wall the entire second half of the season.  I turned a blind eye to it, and so did most Raptors fans, we all assumed that come playoff time a switch would flip and they'd stop playing like shit heads.  Porous defence and reprehensible shot selection sunk this team, time after time it would be one pass and done.  Hitting 3's is great when they sink, but when they don't why do you keep going to the well??  In Game 3 they were in the bonus for christs sakes and instead of driving the lane and drawing a foul it was just terrible jumper after jumper.

As much as it sucks that the Raptors are on the verge of being swept, some short term pain could end up helping out in the long term, because "In Masai I Trust".  When the Leafs made the playoffs and pushed Boston to 7 games (ugh Game 7 memories...) the Leafs braintrust were clouded by that miracle run and assumed that they were just a couple of pieces away from being contenders. They stood pat with the core, bringing in nothing but shit head "character" guys to supposedly put them over the edge. Two miserable years later they've correctly decided to blow it up.

Masai Ujiri is a fuck of a lot smarter than the dunderheads that ran the Leafs and thank god for that.  Amir Johnson, Lou Williams, Chuck Hayes and Landry Fields are all coming off the books, they don't have shitty contracts anchoring them, and they have cap space.  I don't think Masai will be sitting idley by this off-season, something tells me he's going to have a hell of a lot more than a hundra messages on his shitty Blackberry.  I am pretty ignorant to the rest of the NBA landscape so I don't know who is available, but they definitely need another Big Man, and maybe some "veteran presents" that isn't that old geezer Chuck Hayes.

I don't think Dwane Casey's job is necessarily safe either, when Masai was the GM of the Denver Nuggets he fired George Karl despite winning 57 games and winning Coach of the Year honours because of what they did in the playoffs.  The Raptors have been talking about getting Kevin Durant in his free agent year forever, perhaps if they bring in his former coach in OKC Scott Brooks that will help with his decision. 

Well this year was fun Raptors (at least the first half was!) Next year they'll be back with a new logo and snazzy new uniforms, and hopefully a new outlook on the season.  I'll still watch Game 4 tonight, they might even win, fuck they may even make this a series still, but it'll take a miracle, and as I have already said, this sweep could be the best thing to happen to the Raptors long term.

As a Leafs fan, the only good thing about the NHL playoffs is hating on other teams.  Hate hate hate hate hate hate.  I'll admit I LOVE trolling my friends who are fans of other teams, Sens, Habs and Red Wings fans earn the most of my scorn.  Pretty much after every team I hate is eliminated the hockey playoffs are less fun... plus the season goes way too fucking late, hockey shouldn't be played in June.

 

This Sens and Habs series can't end soon enough, I hate both teams so much and I don't want either to be happy.  That being said the most hilarious outcome for a Player Hater like myself is for the shitty Sens to come back and beat the Habs in 7.  The Habs sweeping the Sens would have been hilarious too, but since that is not happening a Habs collapse would be perfect.  Whoever wins this series is likely to face the Red Wings next round, and while I like to give the gears to friends of mine who are Wings fans, I will cheer for them to beat either Montreal or Ottawa.  

I'm not all hate this post-season, I have decided to throw my support behind those plucky Calgary Flames.  Yeah I called the people who just cheer for the Canadian teams the Squid of the Week a couple of weeks ago, and I still stand behind that, but I would like this Flames team no matter where they played.  I don't even like Calgary, it's full of Harper-lovers and wannabe cowboys.  It's a decent enough city, but as far as Canadian City Power Rankings are concerned it's definitely low on the list.  That being said I have friends from Calgary and I think they're swell.  

The Flames play the Ducks next round, the Ducks weren't that overly impressive despite sweeping Winnipeg, as they barely led in that series and relied on timely scoring.  Speaking of Winnipeg I am so happy they're eliminated so the Canadian hockey media can stop having a circle jerk over their fucking fans.  Enough is enough, yeah they're loud and wear white, yippee-yay.  Every NHL arena is loud, that's kind of what happens when you put 18,000 screaming people into a room.  What does Winnipeg have to look forward to now??  It's still winter for another 6 weeks, then it's mosquito season, and you still live in shitty Winnipeg.  Sorry buds.

Another up and down week for the Jays.  They looked amazing sweeping those asshole, trash bird Orioles (more on that series in the Squid of the Week section), but as usual have been terrible in Tampa Bay.  Fuck what is it with the Tampa Bay Rays and Tropicana Field?  The Jays are 1-5 against Tampa and 8-4 against everyone else!  That's worthy of a.......

C'Mon Bud, I hate the fucking Rays so much, the Jays were awful on Friday, squandered a lead yesterday and today they are booting the ball around like assholes while Chris Archer is shutting them down.  Even back when they were the Devil Rays and the laughing stock of baseball the Jays couldn't beat them in that horrible, soulless stadium.  Jays fans travel well, but that's the last place I'd take in a game, it's a terrible stadium and they can never fucking win there!!  Not only do they lose there, they always find ugly ways to lose, it's the Blue Jays house of horrors, burn that place to the ground.

The Week Ahead: @ Boston (4/27 - 4/29) @ Cleveland (4/30 - 5/3)  All those Red Sox games start at 6:10... what's up with that?  Anyways, the Jays play a lot better in Fenway than they do in Tampa.  Jose Bautista will hopefully come back, and maybe this is the series that will get EE going with that bat, both those guys love mashing over the stupid Green Monster.  The highlight of the week though is your boy HDH will be in Cleveland as part of the 2nd Annual Beers and Baseball road trip.  I'll be there for the Friday and Saturday game, and I am pumped!  I'll tell you all about it in my blog next week.  The Cleveland Racist Logos are shit, so hopefully this dreadful series against Tampa is long forgotten by then!

As shitty as the Rays series has been, and as much as I hate the Rays, the sweep against the Orioles (henceforth known as the Trash Birds) was awesome, and I fucking despise the Trash Birds, and I especially despise their asshole manager Buck Showalter, who is this weeks Squid of the Week.

My bud Andrew Stoeten put it best when he said "The shitheel Baltimore Orioles, a living, breathing, 25-man avatar for the pile of human garbage posing as their manager, Buck Showalter"  Showalter is an asshole, he claims that he is "playing the right way" ....which pretty much can be interpreted as playing the "white way."  He's had his shitballers throw at our best player in Jose Bautista twice this season and twice Bautista responded with a home run, because Jose Bautista is the BEST.  Speaking of Jose Bautista being the best... let's watch him pimp that home run once again for old times sake.

Of course Showalter and the Trash Birds were up in arms over Jose's bat flip and his slow jaunt around the bases, but fuck them.  Jose responded brilliantly to Adam Jones and the rest of those shit heads after that game.   They said this shitballer pitcher is just a rookie and it was a mistake, well Stroman was a rookie last year when he hit a Trash Bird and they made a big stink about that.  Fuck Shitwalter is responsible for all this mess.

Then the Squid comes out and says that they considered boycotting the game because of the new turf at the SkyDome, boo fucking hoo you plug.   About the turf, it's a non issue, it'll flatten out over the course of the season and no one will talk about it again.  Anyways Showalter is a terrible manager and a terrible human being and is quite fitting for this week's Squid of the Week Award.

Big Brother Canada 3 Week 5 Thoughts

Well it took 5 god damned weeks but for the first time all season Big Brother Canada 3 was actually interesting and didn't bore me to tears.  There was actual tension with the vote, not some namby-pamby unanimous thing. Jordan, you suck.  Zach, you suck.  I know I picked Jordan to win it all in week 2, but fuck I am always wrong, and I am more than happy to be wrong in this case.

Jordan is a bootleg Peter from BBCAN1, and believe me that's not a good thing.  They are both loud mouth nerds who think they are the masters of Big Brother when really they were both awful.  Peter especially is terrible, I refuse to watch the Big Brother Side Show because of his presence, when fucking Gary Glitter is a more tolerable person than you are you've got fucking issues.  Where does Peter come off telling people how to play Big Brother when he didn't even come close to winning?  I wonder if that tool box still sniffs Liza's hair elastic.

The most egregious thing is the comp throwing.  I hate comp throwing, Peter and Alec (who is actually a bigger squid than Peter) made an art of it in BBCAN1 and look where it got them.  Obviously there is competitions you may not necessarily want to win, especially early in the game, but what Jordan did in the POV competition was not only incredibly idiotic, it's an afront to the game of Big Brother. Why disrespect the game by doing that?  I am glad that squid is gone, which gives me time to pick my next winner....

No not Jon Pardy, the Goofy Newfie (on an aside....cast Newfies next year PLEASE, these Alberta fucks are boring).  The winner of BBCAN3 will be Bruno.  He's an incredibly smart player who has his finger on the pulse of this game, he's good at comps and if he was smart he'd team up with Brittnee, Stinky Sarah and Sindy.  Bruno, you may have just gotten the HDH Kiss of Death, but I think you can overcome my curse and win.

You gotta dump Bobby though.  If you look at an IQ chart Bobby's is quite close to that of a goldfish, a few levels below goldfish you'll find Peeeeeleeeee.  Seriously though that boy is fucking dumb... what was he thinking evicting Sindy in that HOH comp?

While this episode was very entertaining, it is inexcusable not to name an HOH AGAIN during this episode.   Why did they waste everyone's time with the stupid 4/20 sketch, Sindy dancing like a stripper (with an S), or the fucking Showmance recap.  They never do that on BBUSA, because Julie Chen wouldn't stand for it, so it shouldn't happen here, that being said I do know who HOH is and as usual the spoiler is at the end.

Other Random Thoughts

Thank you Godfrey for making this game interesting.  We need more players like him in the house and less people like Ashleigh and fucking Peeeleeee.  I think Brittnee, Stinky Sarah and Sindy are going to stick together, but if he joins them with Bruno and Bobby (maybe Willow? She is playing this game right) they can take down that doofus Zach.

Zach you're useless, you're boring as fuck and put on a god damned shirt.  He did make fun of that garbage clown Peter and his bizarre food aversion on Twitter and that was kind of funny except it ended up being a case of the pot calling the kettle black...

Ashleigh is an awful player, 45 minutes in that POV comp?  She wasn't purposely throwing it too, right? Yeah she's pretty cute, but she's absolutely useless.  Do something for christs sake, even if she somehow wins HOH it'll be controlled by that troglodyte Zach.
 

Jesus Christ, Peelee is dumb.  Holy shit balls she is stupid.  She doesn't know her lefts and rights, and she thought 2600 minutes make up 3 hours.  How did she make it past the audition process?  Does she legitimately have learning disabilities because if so I shouldn't make fun, but shit man.... what a fucking dunce.

So of course that fucking dunce goes and wins HOH, how in god's name did that happen?  I guess in Big Brother even the most useless of houseguests fall ass backwards into an HOH.  Obviously Kevin is going to control her HOH, but who does he put up?? He was on the side of the house to evict Godfrey, will they go after him?  I can see the nominations be Sindy and Godfrey, that seems easy enough that even Peeeleeeee can understand that.

Raptors-Jizzards Game 1, Jays and more!

Welp, that... that wasn't very good.  Despite making a valiant fourth quarter comeback yesterday the Raptors were nothing short of awful against the Jizzards (yes I am going there...) yesterday afternoon.  All the worries everyone had about the Raptors before the playoffs while they were sputtering down the stretch manifested itself in one of the ugliest basketball games I have seen in a while.

Kyle Lowry had a terrible afternoon and fouled out of the game.  T. Ross and DeRozan were pretty bad too, the Raptors could not get any fucking rebounds and as usual settled for 3 balls and contested jump shots, at one point they had more 3 point shot attempts than free throw attempts... that's just unacceptable.  All that being said there is some positives to be taken from the game... really there is.  Lowry was awful, DeRozan was awful, they played like assholes in the 2nd and 3rd quarters, but they still managed to push the game to overtime.  Yeah then they laid a complete egg in overtime but that's beside the point, if Lowry and DeRozan can play like they can then I see them beating Old Man Pierce and the Jizzards.

There has been a lot of garbage clowns on Twitter over the course of the season that have been shitting on Coach Dwane Casey (like you squids can do a better job) some of it justified but mostly it was just hot air, but after yesterday Coach Casey can be justifiably criticized for the way he used his bench.   Where in the fuck was James Johnson?  The team couldn't rebound to save their life yet their best rebounder was nailed to the bench.  It absolutely made no sense.  James Johnson was one of the better stories in the first half of the year (when they were setting the league on fire) and in the second half when they have been struggling James Johnson has been relegated to Greg Steimsma minutes.  Casey insists that James Johnson isn't in the dog house, but the number of minutes he's been playing begs to differ.  Even Zach Lowe from Grantland tweeted out wondering where the fuck James Johnson was.  It seems as though Casey waits until between games rather than making in game adjustments.  To me it is inexcusable when they we they couldn't buy a rebound to have Johnson, Big V and the White Mamba (their best rebounders) stapled to the bench.

I'd be remiss if I didn't say that Masai Ujiri is the best.  Once again he went out to the masses in Jurassic Park yesterday and once again he said a swear saying that they "didn't give a shit about him" in reference to that geezer Paul Pierce.  Masai has turned this team around, and they are only going to get better, I still think they are going to get by Washington but most likely not much farther.  I am interested to see what he is going to do in the off-season, I am sure he has some tricks up his sleeve (and at least a hundra messages on his shitty Blackberry).

The Week Ahead: Game 2 @ Toronto (4/21), Game 3 @ Washington (4/24) What's with these stupid big gaps in between games?  It shouldn't take 2 fucking weeks to play a 7 game series.  Anyways I am fully expecting Lowry, DeRozan and the rest of the team to bounce back in Game 2 on Tuesday night, I predicted Raptors in 6 before the series and I am going to stick to that!

Welp, the Jays didn't have the best of weeks.  It's really feast or famine with this bunch so far, especially offensively.  I am not concerned about the bats, Bautista and Eddie are traditional slow starters, but Donaldson has been incredible and Martin has been showing signs of waking up out of his early season slump, they ran into some good pitching, especially against Tampa so I don't think there is anything to worry about.

The pitching is the one thing that has worried me so far, it seems when there is a decent pitching performance the bats have fallen asleep.  They've used their bullpen far too much, even today Daniel Norris only made it through 2.2 innings.  Hutch hasn't been very good and Sanchez is having some growing pains.  Dickey and Buerhle have been okay, but they need their youngsters to step it up.

Already the Garbage Clowns are calling this season a bust.  You wonder why there is a large segment of Toronto sports fans are panicky idiots.  It's because of asshole media squids like Steve Simmons who just shat out this tweet:

Are you fucking kidding me?? The season is imploding?  Every Jays talk caller and every asshole who says #FYREGABBBOBZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 on Twitter is a fucking an garbage clown and Steve Simmons is their fearless leader.  What a complete and utter stupid thing to say.  He's the worst.

Anyways, I was at the game on Wednesday and check out these seats...

Ooooooooh fuck yeah bud, by far the best seats I have ever had at a Blue Jays game, and unlike when I sit in the 500's like usual there was a good chance that the players I was heckling actually heard the heckles.  Speaking of heckling, I pride myself on coming up with creative heckles, and so does my buddy Ando who was at the game does too.  But, there was these squids in front of us whose idea of heckling was just saying the players name over and over in a stupid voice... that's not heckling that's just being a retard.  Which brings us too....

The Squid of the Week isn't Steve Simmons, or even Mark Stone for faking that wrist injury in the Sens-Habs playoff series it was this stupid old man that made me miss Kevin Pillar's catch of the year at the game I was at.  To refresh your memory Kevin Pillar did THIS last Wednesday night...

Catch of the year eh... well as I mentioned before sitting in front of us were these ne'er do well early twenty-somethings who actually moved up a couple of rows (possibly to hear more of our hilarious heckles).  I was sitting on seat 1 right on the aisle, that's good for all involved as I drink a lot of beer and hence break the seal and piss a lot, and as far as I know it's uncouth to have a piss jug by your seat at at ball game.  Anyways there was this stupid old man talking to those squids in front of us showing all these "hilarious" novelty dollar bills he got in Miami, he just kept going and going, comepletely blocking my view of the game.  These bills were incredibly unfunny Bill Clinton on the "Sex Dollar Bill", Barack Obama had the $0 Dollar Bill, Monica Lewinsky had a milk mustache on one, he made sure that this guy got the jokes "get it?! A Milk Mustache... you know what that actual means!" this dork actually said that.

I was getting so fucking annoyed with this guy, and then while he was doing this the crowd errupts in applause.  Kevin Pillar just made the catch of the year, quite possibly one of the best catches a Blue Jay outfielder has ever made and I had to watch the replay on the Jumbotron because Old Man River was in my way.  I was about to tell him to fuck off and get out of the way before that, but I am too polite, but after I said "You made me miss the catch of the year you old fart get the fuck out of here!!!"  Anyways he left and when I was on one of my many trips to the bathroom I saw him regaling one of the ushers with the same shitty dollar bills I saw before.  I will forever be pissed off that I didn't see that catch live because of that stupid old fart.

C'Mon Bud is easy this week... C'Mon Bud goes to the fucking Edmonton Oilers for once again winning the Draft Lottery and once again are going to ruin a great young prospect.  C'Mon Bud absolutely NOBODY outside of Edmonton wanted the Oilers to get McDavid.  They're a wasteland of talent, not to mention the city of Edmonton is a wasteland itself.  How does years of management ineptitude get rewarded time after time again?  The Oilers don't deserve this... I'm not saying the Leafs deserved it (well... that would've been nice) but anyone besides fucking Edmonton.

McDavid will be squandered there, just like Eberle, Hall and Yakupov.  People keep saying Edmonton fans deserve it because they always sell out the last 10 years even though they haven't made the playoffs, yet in the same breath the shit on Leafs fans for doing the same thing.  I bet the NHL isn't pleased either having a generational talent stuck in Edmonton.  I think Connor McDavid's best bet is to pull an Eric Lindros and refuse to go to the Oilers, and then he'll get traded to the Leafs.  That's the scenerio that everybody wants.

Big Brother Canada 3 Week 4 Thoughts

Sorry for the lateness with this post, I was at the Jays game last night and have been pretty much been fucking the dog all day.  Anyways, Johnny is the latest evictee from the Big Brother house in yet another boring unanimous vote... like everything else this season it met with a "meh" from me.

I am not sure what made Johnny the big target in the house this week, if they were all butt-hurt from that cretin Graig getting voted out, it was Brittnee and Sarah that were the masterminds behind it, Johnny just went along with it.

The thing with Johnny is he got all emotional about Kevin especially betraying him.  Here's a tip bud, don't fall in love with straight men.  To be fair Kevin totally led him on trying to make it be a whole Zach/Frankie thing happen  (ugh) and that really wasn't fair to Johnny.  But really, he should have known better when Kevin started sucking face with that dunce Peeeeeleeeeee.

So the these five dorks are playing to get back into the house, it was interesting to see that they went to the Jury House..... errrr, Sequester House and they were allowed to talk about the game with each other.  It was my understanding that in the past when houseguests went back in they were put into straight sequester.  I think the producers must've watched the same documentary on Solitary Confinement on Netflix that I watched because that would've been psychological torture to isolate someone completely, Risha especially who has been out of the house the longest.  But still now they all know about the Chop Shop, any different alliances etc and have had a chance to formulate a plan based on the information they all have, rather than going in without a clue.

As for who I think is coming back in? Without knowing what the competition it's tough to tell, it really should be something hard, when Nicole was let back into the house on BB16 it was pretty much a game of luck which was stupid.  That being said my money is on Naeha, I think she wants it the most, if not her than Sindy, she has already proved herself to be a competition threat.

Other Random Thoughts:

The way they do a cliff-hanger for HOH on a before and after competition is completely absurd.  Julie Chen and BBUSA wouldn't put up with that shit. Make it a cliffhanger for endurance challenges only! That being said, I know the spoiler and it's at the end of this as usual! 

Arisa Cox is doing a way better job as host this year, she was a bit awkward in BBCAN1 and a little less so than BBCAN2, but she has been great this year.  She'll never been on the same level as my beloved Julie Chen, but even the Chenbot had some growing pains when she first started hosting Big Brother... there is a reason she is called the Chenbot for christs sakes. 

Is it just me or does anyone else find it weird how often they say that they love each other.  I expect to say "I love you guys" when they are pleading for votes to stay in, but for fucks sakes they tell each other "I love you" instead of "good bye".  It's fucking bizarre.

I'm sorry to offend turnips, but Peeeleee has the IQ of a fucking turnip.  She could quite possibly be the worst Big Brother player ever.

Did anyone else notice that they gave away Bruno winning the Veto on the Tuesday episode?  In the opening montage they showed him wearing the stupid necklace... who fucked up?

Jon Pardy coming back in and the whole BBTV thing just goes to show how boring this lot is.  People that watch feeds are all saying that they are a bunch of dullards.  That being said some of the stuff on BBTV was pretty funny... except Willow's dance, what is her deal??

Speaking of Willow is she a lesbian? (Not that there is anything wrong with that) I kind of got a lezzy vibe but then there was that whole kiss with Sarah, which I must admit was pretty awesome, but what was that all about?

Zach is HOH, yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnn.  I find this guy incredibly boring, he is about as exciting as his home province of Saskatchewan where you can watch your dog run away from home for days.  I am sure he will have a safe nomination, probably Sarah and Brittnee and whoever gets voted out will have another boring unanimous eviction.  But who knows who will come back in the house and how that affects the nominations and the game.

Nonis Fired!!! NHL Predictions & More!

The Leafs mercifully concluded yet another disastrous season last night, and today they ended Dave Nonis' disastrous run as General Manager of the team.  Good riddance bud, get the fuck out and never come back.  Nonis made some awful, awful moves as GM from getting rid of Grabovski for nothing, signing ludicrous cap-crippling contract extensions, and then there was the whole David Clarkson fiasco.

So today the Leafs have no GM, which is a lot more of a competent GM than they had yesterday.  Pretty much every move Nonis made was met with a "why the fuck would you do that?" reaction.  It was pretty much scorched earth today, Peter Horachek and the rest of the coaching staff was let go, and most of the scouting department is gone too.   Thank fuck for that, this team is awful, I couldn't even bring myself to watch any of the games the last month or so.

The best thing about this is the insufferable squids in the Toronto media are bloo-blooing about this because apparently Dave Nonis was a "good guy".   That mook Steve Simmons sent out a tweet saying all the "good guys" the Leafs have let go in the last few years who were let down by their players.  Give me a fucking break, these assholes assembled this terrible team and were terrible at their jobs and deserved to be fired.  The King Squid Darren Dreger (who just happens to be Nonis' cousin) has been saying all along that Nonis is going to be back...so once again Dreger is dead wrong.  I am picturing Nonis and Dreger sitting in their jammies crushing some pints of Hagan Daaz having a pity party.

This is truly Shanahan's team now, the stench from the Burke/Nonis era is all gone, and this team is going to look dramatically different when training camp kicks off in September, it will be very interesting to see how it all plays out.  Kyle Dubas and Mark Hunter running the draft this year is going to be incredible, not only the chance at McDavid or another top 4 pick but they will be great in the late rounds.  The late round picks is where good teams find their players... look at the fucking Oilers how many number 1 overall picks have they had and where has that landed them?  The Leafs next year may end up struggling and missing the playoffs (again) but at least there will be a good core of young players who are actually trying and are improving their game over time.

Despite my interest in hockey being at an all time low thanks to the miserable Leafs, playoff hockey especially in the first round is pretty awesome.  Plus I like to make predictions, there is a bunch of smart alec's who make saucy comments on my Facebook saying just to pick the opposite who I pick and whoever I pick gets the kiss of death.  Fuck you, my picks are always right, yeah I picked the Leafs to win the Cup this year, so I might've been a little off there but more often than not I am right.

 Anaheim Ducks vs. Winnipeg Jets

Winner:

in 6

Winnipeg hasn't seen playoff hockey since 1996 when the former Jets were eliminated and they moved to Phoenix.  Good for Jets fans, they live in Winnipeg after all for fucks sakes they don't have much going for them.  I liked Paul Maurice when he coached the Leafs and I am happy to see he is having success in the Peg.  The Ducks are too good though, I'll give the Jets a couple of wins based on their rabid fans alone.

St. Louis Blues vs. Minnesota Wild

Winner:

in 6

I don't fucking know... two of the most boring bland teams in the NHL, I can't say that I have watched either team much, so I am going with St. Louis because they have my boy Alexander Steen (imagine if he was still on the Leafs...ugh)

Chicago Blackhawks vs. Nashville Predators
Winner:

in 7

Chicago has a team full of players who know what it's like to win the Stanley Cup, and they shouldn't be discounted.  In fact, I hope the Leafs end up emulating the Chicago Blackhawks, remember back in the 2000's the Blackhawks were a joke, missing the playoffs year after year, kind of like the present day Leafs, but they got their shit together, drafted well, made good moves and bang they are a perennial Stanley Cup contender.

Vancouver Canucks vs. Calgary Flames

Winner:

in 7

Last week I named the idiots who cheer for Canadian Teams in the playoffs just because they're Canadian as the Squid of the Week, so at least with the Canucks playing the Flames one of the teams will be gone.  That being said I have no problem with the Flames, two of my really good friends are Calgarians and die-hard Flames fans so I will be happy to see the Flames win for that.  I hate the Canucks too, the creepy Sedin Twins, that fucking opera dork that sings the anthem they're just a shitty team with shitty fans.

New York Rangers vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

 Winner:

 in 5

What happened to the Penguins?  Sid the Squid is still one of the best players in the world, and so is Malkin but beyond that they're garbage, they barely made the playoffs and haven't really done much in the playoffs in years.  The Rangers made the Cup Final last year and have been strong all year so I expect them to make short work of Shittsburgh.

Washington Capitals vs. New York Islanders

Winner:

in 7

This is going to be one of the better series of the first round, I was very close to picking the Islanders and I would actually prefer the Islanders advance but I think it'll be the Capitals that advance in a very tight series, mainly because Ovi is the man.

Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Detroit Red Wings

Winner:

in 4

Fuck the Red Wings, they are a bunch of ankle burners.  Stamkos and the Lightning are going to skate circles around Tommy Ta-Tar and the rest of those assholes.  Mike Babcock just wants to get the fuck out of Detroit and come coach the Leafs and lead them to Stanley Cup glory.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Ottawa Senators

 Winner:

The only good thing about this series is one of these miserable franchises will be eliminated.  I hate both teams equally, and I hope they end up destroying each other.  I can't even bring myself to make a pick, it's a real Sophie's Choice of dreadful teams with asshole fan bases.  Fuck them both.

Blue Jays season is in full swing and so far so good.  Yeah there was a little hiccup last night, but honestly I prefer those losses over the loss they had on Wednesday where it was a lot of shitty luck and the team pretty much beat themselves.  The offense has been pretty good so far, but what has really impressed me is the bottom third of the line up, Devon Travis in particular has been great.  The only blip so far with the starting pitching was Aaron Sanchez last night who got rocked, I am still confident that he will turn it around, but there really should be a contingency plan in place if he doesn't.  Hutch didn't have his best stuff this afternoon, but it just wasn't his day, I am not worried about him at all.  Jose Bautista's jack off that dork Darren O'Day was a thing of beauty and holy fuck he was fired up and went full Lawrie on the bench, I bet some of the boys' hands are sore after those high fives.

The Week Ahead: vs. Tampa Bay (4/13-4/16) vs. Atlanta (4/17-4/19)  The Home Opener is tomorrow, my Dad and I saw every single home opener from 1991-1999, but now that would be the last place I want to be.  It sells out every year but it's all fair weather fans and bros looking to get drunk (not that looking to get drunk is a bad thing, but have some fucking decorum). There is always fights in the crowd and people pouring beer from the Upper Deck and throwing shit on the field, it's a gong show.  I am going to the game on Wednesday when the real fans will be there, got some beauty seats too behind home plate for $50! Papa Buerhle is on the bump and it's against the shitty Rays so I am hoping for a win!

I think it's safe to say that James Johnson is red-y for the playoffs.  Nice doo bud! Channel that inner Dennis Rodman, I just hope he doesn't show up in a fucking dress next.  The Raptors crushed Charlotte on Wednesday exorcising the demons that have followed them to North Carolina the last few seasons, then they swept the Florida teams, by doing that they have tied their franchise record in wins, and have ensured home court advantage in the first round of the playoffs.  Looks like the Raptors will play either the Wizards or the Bucks in the first round, and they could easily advance against either team.  The last couple of weeks of the regular season has been a bit of a drag, the playoffs need to start like yesterday, enough of these other-ran teams.

The Week Ahead: @ Boston (4/14) vs. Charlotte (4/15) That's it, just two games left in the regular season against two teams below them in the standings.  If they win out they will win 50 games for the first time in franchise history, hopefully they do that so they can go into the playoff strong! Game 1 of the Playoffs will be on Saturday, I am sure it'll be sometime in the afternoon, I can't wait!

The Squid of the Week is that insufferable cretin Gregg Zaun's for his terrible Sunday Roast.  The Sunday Roast thing is the stupidest, STUPIDEST thing in the entire world.  Sometimes I do agree with what he says but then he'll go off on a tangent, the ridiculous segment is about 3 minutes longer than what it should be.  He did it all last year, basically shitting out your typical neanderthal old school baseball crap, but I think the worst part of it all is that catch phrase he says at the end.. "It's Sunday {dramatic pause} do you smell that morning roast"  THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.  First of all, unless you're watching in B.C. it is always the afternoon when he says that, even when they are on the west coast and the game is at 4 pm he still calls it the fucking morning roast.  Why does he call it a roast anyways?  Is it supposed to be like the Comedy Central Roasts, which in that case he needs to be making crude, yet hilarious jokes.  But the only crude thing about that is Zaun's suits.  What is this fucking morning roast he's smelling, is it a coffee roast? Roast Beef?  Jaime Campbell is a giant dork about the whole procedure too.  I have a feeling ol' Zaun Cherry will be the recipient of many Squid of the Week awards of the course of this season.

Big Brother Canada 3 Week 3 Thoughts

It certainly was a big week in the Big Brother house with two evictions.  First up we have the annual Easter tradition with the Instant Eviction, Grumpy Cat being this years victim.  Out of all the terrible Twistos Twist BBCAN has thrown at us, I would have to say the Instant Eviction is the worst.  First they don't have a chance to campaign, then there is no veto which is extremely unfair and it's even bullshit for the HOH as they don't get to have the nice room, the snacks and the god damned letter from home they all get so fucking bloo blooey about.  Even worse this season all the houseguests had to read out their vote to the rest of the house exposing themselves... that's never a part of this game, cut out this bullshit immediately.

Anyways Naeha got fucked over, and I think Kevin realized that... once again the instant eviction didn't let him think things through.  I know I said just last week that Sindy has the best shot of coming back in, but I wouldn't count out ol' Grumpy Cat.

Second to be given the Australia style big boot this week was that cretin Graig.  What a fucking mook this guy is.  It seems like every season of Big Brother there is at least one so called Alpha Male who thinks he is in charge who thinks they can control the entire house and they inevitably are one of the first to go.

I don't know what this guys deal is, I'm not one to be throwing stones when it comes to maturity but Jesus Christ bud you're almost 40 not almost 20.  The stupid haircut, speaking in hashtags, using teen vernacular.  He said he doesn't want to even go back into the game, good fucking riddance then, let someone like Sindy or Naeha who give a fuck about the game a chance to get back in and go back to your Red Bull and Ed Hardy shirts and co-ordinated high fives with your squid bros.

I have to say that Brittnee's HOH was FLAWLESS.  She did a fantastic job, it was definitely one of the best weeks I have seen, especially considering she was nominated two weeks in a row.  I think she is gorgeous too, I think I should be a plus-sized model as well, I haven't gotten any modeling work since my Luvs Diaper campaign when I was a baby but that's another story.

Other Random Thoughts

I know who HOH is, spoiler at the end.

The new nomination ceremony is so fucking convoluted and stupid.  It looks like what a science project looks like in a cartoon with all the pulleys and gears.  I like how they let them talk it out and show who they are considering putting on the block, but other than that it's all unnecessary.

Bobby is a squid.  Everyone can see through him just like Homer Simpson rubbing a Krusty Burger against the wall.  "I am not going to play for HOH anymore" get the fuck out of here.  His whole act is beyond pathetic and anyone in the house who is falling for it should be ashamed of themselves.

Even though Bobby is dumb, and Graig was dumber I would have to say the stupidest person in the house by a country mile is Peeeeeeleeeeeeee.  Does she offer anything whatsoever in the game?  If you look in one ear can you see light coming in from the other side?  Even when all the girls were in the room it took all of them to explain to her that they were outnumbered.  How did she even get cast on the show?  Dumb as a box of hammers she is.

Willow has done nothing but be a spazz, take your pills for christs sake.

I am on the fence about Johnny, sometimes he can be extremely annoying, the whole "Kevvy-Wevvy" thing needs to end immediately, and him saying "whoooo wants some piiiiii-iiiiiiiee" gave me nightmares.  I think he is a good ally to Brittnee though, who is quickly becoming my favourite, Jordan is still my pick to win.

Bruno the meathead is the new HOH.  Since he is chop shop and Graig's closest ally he might avenge his eviction by putting up either Johnny, Brittnee or Sarah.  One things for sure you can expect some fucking water works when he gets his letter and pictures uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh.  I actually don't mind Bruno's game so far, but if he goes after Brittnee we're going to have some words.