Thursday, June 27, 2013

Big Brother 15 Opening Episode Thoughts


I love Big Brother, I don't watch that many TV shows, let alone reality TV shows, but I can't miss an episode of Big Brother.  The debut of Big Brother marks the start of summer for me.  Sure we had Big Brother Canada, and don't get me wrong that was decent, but nothing compares to the real thing.  This season is a little different, for the 3 or 4 of you that read my Big Brother Canada updates you know that I really hate unnecessary twists, but I like the twist they've thrown in this year.  As you all know the HOH will nominate two guests as usual, but America (not Canadians, thanks a lot assholes) votes on a weekly MVP and they get to nominate someone.  The rest of the house doesn't know who the MVP is, or who the nomination is until my beloved Julie Chen lets them know, and the MVP can remain anonymous if they so choose.  I still have a few questions, what happens if the MVP ends up being the nomination? Can we trust these retarded Americans to elect a good MVP? Remember these are the people who elected George W. Bush President....twice.  As per usual most of the first episode dealt with introductions blah blah blah, so I will give some of my first impressions of some of the houseguests.


I must say this season has the best looking cast of women in many years.  All of the girls are easy on the eyes, and unlike Big Brother Canada who films in fucking Mississauga in February and March this is filmed in L.A. in the summer which gives us plenty of time to ogle at them laying around the pool in their bikinis...not that I would ever do such thing, I'm a gentleman.  Kaitlin pictured above is my favourite so far, I might try to hit her up on Twitter after the show.  Despite the unfortunate spelling of the name 'Erin', Aaryn is also very hot. GinaMarie is pretty good looking too, but christ all mighty is she ever annoying.  Speaking of annoying...


Jesus Christ it's Rachels sister.  It's bad e-fucking-nough that we had to deal with that wretched beast for two seasons now we have to deal with her sister.  Thankfully she didn't have much of a role in last nights episode and did nothing to annoy me, but I doubt that is going to last long.  Doesn't she kind of remind you of that woman who got all the plastic surgery to look like a cat?  I hope she is gone soon, I think the rest of the house will pick up quickly on the fact that she is Rachels sister and she will be gone very quickly, possibly as soon as next week.


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Originally I thought David was a cross between Beavis and Rocky Dennis, but it's more like Jeff Spicoli and Rocky Dennis.  Either way David is a plug, the guy is dumber than a bag of hammers. Maybe his laid back stoner attitude will win me over, but fuck man get a new hair doo you look ridiculous, and no just because I am bald doesn't mean I have some sort of hair envy, I'm too fucking lazy to shave or brush my teeth in the morning most of the time, I can't imagine having to make my hair look pretty.

Hey look, it's McCrae playing the double bass! Seriously though, he looks a little like Geddy Lee, minus the massive schnozz.  I think it was a bit silly of him to hold on for the HOH, people already think he is some sort of genius lying about being a stoner Pizza delivery guy, when in fact he really is a stoner pizza guy.  That being said I am kind of leaning towards him being my early pick to win it all, but I certainly haven't made up my mind yet.


As for the rest of the house, not a whole fuck of a lot stood out at me from the rest of the house guests.  I think a lot of them are playing too hard too fast, forming alliances and such within the first hour or two.  Jeremy aka Tatanka is already in 2 for christs sake.  I doubt any of these alliances will last....they certainly are no Brigade.  I'll do a quick thought on each of the house guests that I haven't mentioned yet.

Amanda - Big rack, in one of her pre-show interviews she says she has been know to have "verbal diarrhea" so that should make things interesting.

Andy - Google Image search Howdy Doody and you've got Andy, as the token gay I am glad he is not as flamboyant and in your face about it as Gary Glitter from BB Canada or Lawonderful in the past.

Candice - Meh, hasn't said or done anything interesting yet.

Helen - Ceiling eyes

Howard - too Jesusy, I hope he goes far though, black dudes never last long.

Jessie - She's pretty cute, but conceited as fuck

Judd - Hillbilly, reminds me of Joe from BB14

Nick - Cocky, I can see him lasting long in the game though

Spencer - Beard, thank God he kept his shirt on in the team swim suit picture

Well that's it for my first of my weekly Big Brother posts, I'll most likely be posting them every Wednesday after the live eviction.  I read spoilers, I will try not to post too many of them, but if I do I'll give you ample warning.  For a good recap of what is going on in the live feeds go to Joker's Updates if you want to see some pervy shots of the house guests,  (it's equal opportunity perviness too ladies) and daily recaps/spoilers check out I Hate Big Brother @EvelDick and @ZingBot_3000 are two of many good follows on Twitter, but they post spoilers too so be forewarned!  While you're at it follow me on Twitter too! @didhenley




2 comments:

Phaedra said...

hahahahhaa. bang on. best post yet by far.

Unknown said...

Thanks Joan!