Kessel the Best, Raps Back on Track, Deflate-Gate

Due to the god-forsaken All-Star Game the Leafs only played two games last week, and they lost both thus continuing Death Spiral v. 4.0  The All-Star Break couldn't have come at a better time for the boys, hopefully they got some rest and got their heads screwed on straight being away from Toronto and the vultures in the media for a few days.  I barely watched any of the All-Star coverage... I rarely do in any of the sports because it's garbage, the players don't want to be there, the game itself is horse shit, plus all the leagues have taken to creating atrocious uniforms for the occasion.  This years NHL All-Star jerseys looked like some bootleg moto-cross bullshit you'd find on the shelves of your local Bi-Way.  All that being said, a great thing happened at the Fantasy Draft last Friday.  "Team Foligno" picked first (on an aside, I know he plays for Columbus and that's where the game is but I guarantee 95% of sports fans said what the fuck is a Team Foligno, way to go NHL) and he picked Blue Jacket teammate Ryan Johansen... fair enough I guess, get a cheap pop from the home crowd.  Then Team Toews picked next, and he went and picked the one and only Phil Kessel, and then proclaimed that he picked him because he is "very coachable".  I stood up and applauded when I heard that... It got a chuckle out of ol' Philly Blunt, plus he didn't have to endure the humiliation of getting picked last.  Also in my opinion Toews did that as a big 'Fuck You!' to Wrong Wilson, Dave Feschuk and the rest of the fucking squids in the Toronto media.  These guys are all tight and they probably see the shit that Kessel is getting put through in Toronto and feel bad for him.  Speaking of Feschuk, being called an idiot by Kessel is probably the best thing to happen in his shitty little career.  I'm not sure if he has been on TSN SportsCentre for a while, because I boycotted TSN SportsCentre for a couple of years, and I only started watching it again because I loathe the Sportsnet Hockey Panel (except Elliote Friedman) but this squid has popped up on SportsCentre shitting out his horrible opinions, on you guessed it Phil Kessel.  It's the usual bullshit he's been spewing since Kessel has showed up in Toronto... "They need to trade Kessel, he is fat, he can't play defense, who cares if he scores goals I want to be a contrarian arsehole in order to get more exposure and line my own wallet bloo bloo bloo let me call James Reimers sweet old mother at home and harass her derp derp derp."  Remember that piece of shit Feschuk wrote this book:

Only $19.67, how fucking cute.  So he hates the Leafs, he hates Kessel, I am not saying that everyone in the media should be Leafs Homers.  James Mirtle of the Globe and Mail is hard on the Leafs but his arguments make actual sense and he didn't go to the Damien Cox school of Trolling.  The Leafs have missed the playoffs in 9 of the last 10 seasons and the way things are going it looks like they won't make it again, but Phil Kessel is not the fucking problem, it's the players that have been brought in to surround Kessel.  They bring in players not based on their talent but supposed "character" and that they're "winners."  You can't fucking buy character, you can't buy winners but you can buy talent.  The Leafs have fucked up monumentally in that regard, and getting rid of an elite talent like Phil Kessel will only set them back even further.

The Week Ahead: @ New Jersey (1/28), vs. Arizona (1/29), @ Philadelphia (1/31).  On paper this could be an easy week for the Leafs, but as we all know nothing comes easy for the Leafs these days. All three of these teams are below the Leafs in the standings, so hopefully some R&R over the All-Star break did them some good and they can get back to winning, and maybe actually scoring some goals.  Let's face it the Leafs have been pretty downright unwatchable these days, defensive hockey is boring as shit, and that's what Horachek is trying to instill in these boys... just score some fucking goals already.

The Raptors went 3-1 last week and appear to be slowly but surely emerging from their mid-season funk that has dated back to New Years.  Granted they didn't look like world-beaters in beating the Bucks, 76ers and Pistons (all missing good players, or in the 76ers case are a glorified D-League team), they looked a lot better on the defensive end against the Grizzlies, but fuck they shot blanks.  They looked a lot better last night against the Pistons, DeMar is starting to shake off the rust from his injury.  I think all the hoopla surrounding getting Kyle Lowry starting on the All-Star team was a bit of a distraction... in other news thank fuck I never have to hear Matty D say "HASH TAG NBA BALLOT" ever again.  PS Congrats to Kyle on getting the start, but as we all know All-Star Games are bullshit, and I would rather him get the rest.  One thing is curious though, in the last week James Johnson has seen his playtime decrease to Bruno and Bebe levels, and I really don't understand this at all.  James Johnson was with the Raptors once before, and Dwane Casey nailed him to the bench then, citing some attitude problem, and he left the team on poor terms.  He returned to the team this year, and I thought played very well for them in the first part of the season, and his attitude has never come into question, in fact there were plenty of reports on how much it has improved.  Coach Casey insists that he's not getting benched for any disciplinary reason, or based on his play just that they are "trying new things".  Still I don't like it, James Johnson is the poor man's Lebron and I think he should be starting instead of Greivis Vasquez.  Perhaps this is just a temporary thing, Johnson is great on the boards, gets big blocks and unlike a lot of the boys recently isn't afraid to drive the lane for thunderous dunks.  Plus his nickname is Bloodsport... how cool is that?

The Week Ahead: @ Indiana (1/27), vs. Sacramento (1/28), @ Brooklyn (1/30), @ Washington (1/31).  4 game in 5 nights, with 3 on the road... Yikes.  Perhaps it is good after all that James Johnson has been resting up?  The good news is 3 of the 4 teams are sub-500 and are on the outside looking in of the playoffs.  The game of the week will be the Wizards game Saturday night, but the Brooklyn game on Friday should be good too, because I guess they are the Raptors biggest rival these days.  Fuck Brooklyn! 

I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up one of the biggest stories in the sports world, that of the New England Patriots being caught red-handed AGAIN being no good rotten cheaters.  While at the end of the day I must admit that the Patriots could've used under-inflated beach balls and still would've beaten the Colts in the AFC Title game just the optics of the whole thing stinks.  The dual press conferences held by Bill Belicheat and Tom "Uggs" Brady were dreadful.  They were both clearly lying, flames around them should've been digitally added by Channel Six.  I think they'd be better off just coming out and admitting that they purposely deflated the ball.  Belisuck had another press conference the other day where he went all physicist and he was more emphatic that they didn't do anything untoward... all of which was shot down by the smartest man on Earth Bill Nye The Science Guy.  The Patriots have a culture of cheating, there was the tuck rule, Spy-Gate, tricky plays against the Ravens and now this.  Don't tell me that this was the first week they used deflated balls, I guarantee they've done this all season, perhaps longer.  Also Patriots owner Robert Kraft (who wears the same damned suit everyday) is good friends with Roger Goodell, many have gone as far to say that Kraft is the defacto assistant commissioner, so I smell a major conflict of interest there.  Goodell is a fucking joke, he can go and bully Marshawn Lynch and not let him wear gold cleats, but he'll let the Patriots cheat under his watch.  Go ahead and deny it Brady, we have seen all the denials before - Ryan Braun, Lance Armstrong, Bill Clinton, Richard Nixon etc. and how did those turn out?  Honesty is the best policy! Tom Brady went on the radio and said his "feelings were hurt" what a fucking baby, no wonder he is afraid of waterslides.  I still maintain the Seahawks are going to win the Super Bowl, this whole thing must be a distraction for the Patriots, and now they'll be watched closely and all their cheating ways will be exposed.

That's all for this week... I thought about writing something about the whole Paul Beeston situation for the Jays but it's so fucking stupid.  "Lil'" Eddie Rogers aka Bumblefuck Eddie has made a mess of this, and has looked terrible in MLB's old boys network.  What a fucking did-saster.  Follow my man Andrew Stoeten for all the news about that.  Until next week give me a follow on twitter @HDH2112.