Nonis Fired!!! NHL Predictions & More!

The Leafs mercifully concluded yet another disastrous season last night, and today they ended Dave Nonis' disastrous run as General Manager of the team.  Good riddance bud, get the fuck out and never come back.  Nonis made some awful, awful moves as GM from getting rid of Grabovski for nothing, signing ludicrous cap-crippling contract extensions, and then there was the whole David Clarkson fiasco.

So today the Leafs have no GM, which is a lot more of a competent GM than they had yesterday.  Pretty much every move Nonis made was met with a "why the fuck would you do that?" reaction.  It was pretty much scorched earth today, Peter Horachek and the rest of the coaching staff was let go, and most of the scouting department is gone too.   Thank fuck for that, this team is awful, I couldn't even bring myself to watch any of the games the last month or so.

The best thing about this is the insufferable squids in the Toronto media are bloo-blooing about this because apparently Dave Nonis was a "good guy".   That mook Steve Simmons sent out a tweet saying all the "good guys" the Leafs have let go in the last few years who were let down by their players.  Give me a fucking break, these assholes assembled this terrible team and were terrible at their jobs and deserved to be fired.  The King Squid Darren Dreger (who just happens to be Nonis' cousin) has been saying all along that Nonis is going to be back...so once again Dreger is dead wrong.  I am picturing Nonis and Dreger sitting in their jammies crushing some pints of Hagan Daaz having a pity party.

This is truly Shanahan's team now, the stench from the Burke/Nonis era is all gone, and this team is going to look dramatically different when training camp kicks off in September, it will be very interesting to see how it all plays out.  Kyle Dubas and Mark Hunter running the draft this year is going to be incredible, not only the chance at McDavid or another top 4 pick but they will be great in the late rounds.  The late round picks is where good teams find their players... look at the fucking Oilers how many number 1 overall picks have they had and where has that landed them?  The Leafs next year may end up struggling and missing the playoffs (again) but at least there will be a good core of young players who are actually trying and are improving their game over time.

Despite my interest in hockey being at an all time low thanks to the miserable Leafs, playoff hockey especially in the first round is pretty awesome.  Plus I like to make predictions, there is a bunch of smart alec's who make saucy comments on my Facebook saying just to pick the opposite who I pick and whoever I pick gets the kiss of death.  Fuck you, my picks are always right, yeah I picked the Leafs to win the Cup this year, so I might've been a little off there but more often than not I am right.

 Anaheim Ducks vs. Winnipeg Jets

Winner:

in 6

Winnipeg hasn't seen playoff hockey since 1996 when the former Jets were eliminated and they moved to Phoenix.  Good for Jets fans, they live in Winnipeg after all for fucks sakes they don't have much going for them.  I liked Paul Maurice when he coached the Leafs and I am happy to see he is having success in the Peg.  The Ducks are too good though, I'll give the Jets a couple of wins based on their rabid fans alone.

St. Louis Blues vs. Minnesota Wild

Winner:

in 6

I don't fucking know... two of the most boring bland teams in the NHL, I can't say that I have watched either team much, so I am going with St. Louis because they have my boy Alexander Steen (imagine if he was still on the Leafs...ugh)

Chicago Blackhawks vs. Nashville Predators
Winner:

in 7

Chicago has a team full of players who know what it's like to win the Stanley Cup, and they shouldn't be discounted.  In fact, I hope the Leafs end up emulating the Chicago Blackhawks, remember back in the 2000's the Blackhawks were a joke, missing the playoffs year after year, kind of like the present day Leafs, but they got their shit together, drafted well, made good moves and bang they are a perennial Stanley Cup contender.

Vancouver Canucks vs. Calgary Flames

Winner:

in 7

Last week I named the idiots who cheer for Canadian Teams in the playoffs just because they're Canadian as the Squid of the Week, so at least with the Canucks playing the Flames one of the teams will be gone.  That being said I have no problem with the Flames, two of my really good friends are Calgarians and die-hard Flames fans so I will be happy to see the Flames win for that.  I hate the Canucks too, the creepy Sedin Twins, that fucking opera dork that sings the anthem they're just a shitty team with shitty fans.

New York Rangers vs. Pittsburgh Penguins

 Winner:

 in 5

What happened to the Penguins?  Sid the Squid is still one of the best players in the world, and so is Malkin but beyond that they're garbage, they barely made the playoffs and haven't really done much in the playoffs in years.  The Rangers made the Cup Final last year and have been strong all year so I expect them to make short work of Shittsburgh.

Washington Capitals vs. New York Islanders

Winner:

in 7

This is going to be one of the better series of the first round, I was very close to picking the Islanders and I would actually prefer the Islanders advance but I think it'll be the Capitals that advance in a very tight series, mainly because Ovi is the man.

Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Detroit Red Wings

Winner:

in 4

Fuck the Red Wings, they are a bunch of ankle burners.  Stamkos and the Lightning are going to skate circles around Tommy Ta-Tar and the rest of those assholes.  Mike Babcock just wants to get the fuck out of Detroit and come coach the Leafs and lead them to Stanley Cup glory.

Montreal Canadiens vs. Ottawa Senators

 Winner:

The only good thing about this series is one of these miserable franchises will be eliminated.  I hate both teams equally, and I hope they end up destroying each other.  I can't even bring myself to make a pick, it's a real Sophie's Choice of dreadful teams with asshole fan bases.  Fuck them both.

Blue Jays season is in full swing and so far so good.  Yeah there was a little hiccup last night, but honestly I prefer those losses over the loss they had on Wednesday where it was a lot of shitty luck and the team pretty much beat themselves.  The offense has been pretty good so far, but what has really impressed me is the bottom third of the line up, Devon Travis in particular has been great.  The only blip so far with the starting pitching was Aaron Sanchez last night who got rocked, I am still confident that he will turn it around, but there really should be a contingency plan in place if he doesn't.  Hutch didn't have his best stuff this afternoon, but it just wasn't his day, I am not worried about him at all.  Jose Bautista's jack off that dork Darren O'Day was a thing of beauty and holy fuck he was fired up and went full Lawrie on the bench, I bet some of the boys' hands are sore after those high fives.

The Week Ahead: vs. Tampa Bay (4/13-4/16) vs. Atlanta (4/17-4/19)  The Home Opener is tomorrow, my Dad and I saw every single home opener from 1991-1999, but now that would be the last place I want to be.  It sells out every year but it's all fair weather fans and bros looking to get drunk (not that looking to get drunk is a bad thing, but have some fucking decorum). There is always fights in the crowd and people pouring beer from the Upper Deck and throwing shit on the field, it's a gong show.  I am going to the game on Wednesday when the real fans will be there, got some beauty seats too behind home plate for $50! Papa Buerhle is on the bump and it's against the shitty Rays so I am hoping for a win!

I think it's safe to say that James Johnson is red-y for the playoffs.  Nice doo bud! Channel that inner Dennis Rodman, I just hope he doesn't show up in a fucking dress next.  The Raptors crushed Charlotte on Wednesday exorcising the demons that have followed them to North Carolina the last few seasons, then they swept the Florida teams, by doing that they have tied their franchise record in wins, and have ensured home court advantage in the first round of the playoffs.  Looks like the Raptors will play either the Wizards or the Bucks in the first round, and they could easily advance against either team.  The last couple of weeks of the regular season has been a bit of a drag, the playoffs need to start like yesterday, enough of these other-ran teams.

The Week Ahead: @ Boston (4/14) vs. Charlotte (4/15) That's it, just two games left in the regular season against two teams below them in the standings.  If they win out they will win 50 games for the first time in franchise history, hopefully they do that so they can go into the playoff strong! Game 1 of the Playoffs will be on Saturday, I am sure it'll be sometime in the afternoon, I can't wait!

The Squid of the Week is that insufferable cretin Gregg Zaun's for his terrible Sunday Roast.  The Sunday Roast thing is the stupidest, STUPIDEST thing in the entire world.  Sometimes I do agree with what he says but then he'll go off on a tangent, the ridiculous segment is about 3 minutes longer than what it should be.  He did it all last year, basically shitting out your typical neanderthal old school baseball crap, but I think the worst part of it all is that catch phrase he says at the end.. "It's Sunday {dramatic pause} do you smell that morning roast"  THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE.  First of all, unless you're watching in B.C. it is always the afternoon when he says that, even when they are on the west coast and the game is at 4 pm he still calls it the fucking morning roast.  Why does he call it a roast anyways?  Is it supposed to be like the Comedy Central Roasts, which in that case he needs to be making crude, yet hilarious jokes.  But the only crude thing about that is Zaun's suits.  What is this fucking morning roast he's smelling, is it a coffee roast? Roast Beef?  Jaime Campbell is a giant dork about the whole procedure too.  I have a feeling ol' Zaun Cherry will be the recipient of many Squid of the Week awards of the course of this season.

Buds All Day, AA the Best and more!

We saw two different versions of the Leafs last week, the same team that made short work of the Dallas Stars and the god forsaken Vancouver Canucks and the creepy Sedin twins, lost in extremely boring fashion to the New Jersey Devils.  That Devils game sucked, but such is life in an 82 game season, sometimes you're the dog, sometimes you're the fire hydrant.  What really pissed me off about that Devils game is that some cretin threw his jersey on the ice... really bud?  This jersey tossing thing is so fucking stupid and it needs to end immediately. Yeah the Leafs came out flat and played like shit, but they were playing the Devils who without Jagr and Elias (combined age 114) played typical boring neutral zone trap New Jersey Devil hockey.  The Leafs have been winning a ton lately, and just because you paid half a months salary to go see them does not give you the right to throw your jersey on the ice.  Squid move bud.  By the way, unless you got Craig Jones to order you a jersey from China for $30 they're pretty fucking expensive, so not only did you drop all that money for a ticket and beer you just threw a $200 jersey on the ice to prove some point? Give it up for lent bud, go fuck yourself.

Something is amiss with my beloved Phil Kessel, yes he did score against Dallas and New Jersey, but I think he is hurt, he took a vicious hit against Dallas, and they keep showing him in practice wincing and stretching out his back.  Everytime they show him on the bench he is crunched over in pain (or he is winded: insert lazy fat joke here Toronto media dickheads).  If he is indeed hurt like many are suggesting then he should take a few games off, we'll need him in March and April, not in December.

The Week Ahead: vs. Calgary (12/9), @ Detroit (12/10), vs. Detroit (12/13), vs. Los Angeles (12/14).  This is a tough week for the Buds.  For the first time in years the Calgary Flames are actually a good team, they are solidly in a playoff position and don't seem to be letting it go.  Hopefully the Leafs beat the Flames to make up for the Stampeders beating the Ti-Cats in the Grey Cup. There is a home and home against the pesky fucking Red Wings, and then the defending Stanley Cup champs come in for a bizarre 5 pm game on Sunday.  Jonathan "Nelson Mandela is my Favourite Athlete" Bernier, has been playing really well lately, as the Leafs have started up their old habit of giving up a buttload of shots every game, and we are going to need Bernier to keep it up during this tough stretch next week.  Speaking of Bernier that Nelson Mandela thing is inexcusable, I know that athletes are not the smartest breed, and English isn't Bernier's first language, but come on, how can he possibly say Nelson Mandela was one of his favourite athletes growing up?  When Bernier was growing up Mandela was in his 70's and the President of South Africa.  Jesus Christ Bernier get a fucking clue.

Photo Credit @mattomic 

AA strikes again.  At the end of the regular season I was getting kind of sick of hearing AA's bullshit, talking about "payroll parameters" and the Blue Jays refusal to give out contracts longer than 5 seasons, plus the 2014 season ended on (another) sour note.  Now I am singing his praises again and the 2015 season can not start soon enough.   Last week that Jays dealt JA Happ to Seattle for Left Fielder Michael Saunders.  Considering Melky Cabrera is as good as gone, Saunders is a great pick-up for the team, a good sign that it is a great move is that Seattle Mariner bloggers are very upset about giving up Saunders.  Saunders has been hurt, and the unforgiving SkyDome Rogers Centre turf may not help issues, but I think he'll be as equal as Melky if not better in the coming seasons.  Plus for all you who get Maple Boners... he's Canadian! Despite losing Brett "Spazz" Lawrie they will be fielding 3 Canadians in their starting line-up next season along with Russel Martin, and Dalton "Live At" Pompey.  Ohhhh fuck yah bud.  AA and the Jays still have work to do, their starting line-up is pretty much set, but they still need some bullpen arms, and perhaps another starting pitcher.  There is 3 long months until Spring Training starts, and I don't think they're done tinkering yet! 

Holy Shit Kyle Lowry is a beast, in fact he was just named NBA Eastern Conference Player of the Week for the past week.  When it's all said and done he will end up being the best player in Toronto Raptors history.  He dropped 27 against the Kings and then put up a career high 39 against the Jazz the next night.  We're a quarter of the way through the season now and in my completely biased opinion I would say Lowry is the MVP thus far.  Granted we're only a quarter through the season and Anthony Davis, LeBron James and the other usual suspects might have a thing or two to say about that, but he definitely needs some consideration, and he will be a starter in the All-Star Game in February.  Just for the love of God don't get hurt.  The Raptors really felt that DeRozan injury during the Cleveland game, T-Ross and "Captain" Lou Williams shot like shit, Jonas "Big V" Valaciunas got in foul trouble off the hop, but despite all that it was close most of the game and Cleveland only pulled ahead in the 4th quarter when it was all but over.  They said DeRozan won't need surgery on his groin which is good news, but there is still no time line for his return.

The Week Ahead: vs. Denver (12/8), @ Cleveland (12/9), vs. Indiana (12/12), @ New York (12/14).  The Raptors are playing 3 teams that are under .500 and out of the playoff hunt, once again they need to take advantage of these games, the Raptors have shown a killer instinct against these mediocre teams and must continue to do so.  They play the Cleveland LeBrons once again in what should be a big game, this could well be a 2nd or 3rd round playoff preview, it'll be tough again without DeRozan, but I am confident that it will be close, Kyle Lowry will need to step up and beat those assholes himself.

The Bills are fucking done again, Jesus Christ this team can't do anything right.  That game was ripe for picking too, Peyton had a terrible un-Peyton like game, in fact it's the first time in 4 fucking seasons that he hasn't thrown a touchdown pass.  On the surface a 24-17 loss to Denver with Kyle Orton throwing 355 yards doesn't look too bad, but fuck he sucked.  Untimely interceptions, weak red zone play and some questionable play calling has led us to YET ANOTHER playoff-less season.  They might as well go back to EJ Manuel for the last few weeks of the season, let's see what the kid can do as Kyle Orton is not the QB of the future.  Doug "Moron" Marrone should be axed at the end of this season, and so should that clown offensive coordinator Nathaniel "Can't" Hackett.  Why not have defensive co-coordinator Jim Schwartz take over?  The Bills D has once again been amazing, plus he has NFL head coaching experience.  There are pieces in place for the Bills to be a playoff team but that fucking offense, especially the play calling needs to improve.

The Bills in Toronto Series is as dead as their season!  This was a joke right from the get-go, greedy-assed Rogers expecting people to fork over a ton of their money to watch the shitty Bills play in the SkyDome.  They were giving away tickets for free next to people who dropped $300 bucks for their seats, no wonder people were pissed off.  There is a lot of Bills fans in Southern Ontario, but there is also fans of a shit load of other teams.  Amongst my friends I know Dolphins, Lions, Steelers, Titans, Patriots, Vikings, Giants and 49ers fans.  This should come as no surprise, the Bills have done fuck all to lure new fans since the days of Flutie Flakes, idiots like me only hold out because they were amazing when I was a kid, and I am loyal to a fault.  My point is as a Bills fan in Southern Ontario I would way rather make the 2 hour drive to Orchard Park to watch the Bills play at the Ralph, have the tailgate experience at a true home game then to watch them at the mausoleum known as the SkyDome where everything is over-priced and there is maybe less than half Bills fans there.  When they played the Dolphins shit-heads like my buddys Jeff and Mike showed up because it is a lot easier for them to see their favourite team in Toronto than to fly all the way to Miami, same thing happened when they played Seattle or Atlanta.  Maybe one day Toronto will have their own NFL team (not bloody likely) but until then keep the Bills in Buffalo where they belong.

The Week Ahead.  vs. Green Bay (12/14).  Jeezum Crow this is an ass-kicking waiting to happen.  It is the last home game of the year, so maybe they'll go out in style?? Who am I fucking kidding there is nothing stylish about Buffalo.

As usual you can catch me on the Twitter @HDH2112 you can also leave a comment in the comment section, I do love all feedback good or bad.  See you next week! 

Thoughts on the 2013-14 Leafs season and more!

May 13, 2013 was a roller coaster of emotions the likes of which I have never experienced in my entire life.  Being a Leafs fan, (along with being a Blue Jays, Bills and Raptors fan) I am all too used to disappointment and misery as a sports fan, but it's always disappointment and misery I can see coming a mile away.  That game 7 against Boston was easily the lowest I have ever felt as a sports fan.  That game had it all the dizzying highs, the terrifying lows, the creamy middles.  When Kadri scored to go up 4-1 with only 11 minutes to play I was on cloud 9, getting congratulatory texts from fellow Leafs fans, planning on the second round.  But then Boston scored....and again....and again...and finally again in overtime.  It was the most monumental heart stomping collapse I have ever witnessed.  I shit you not I had trouble sleeping that night.  After waiting 9 long years for the Leafs to be in the playoffs again, they go and blow it in historic fashion like that.  Even friends of mine who waste no time talking shit about the Leafs to me gave me at least a night to mourn....then the shit talking began in earnest and did not stop the whole summer.  This YouTube video sums up that horrible night perfectly....this was painful for me to watch again!

But enough about god damned game 7, I am so sick of hearing about it, and I know I will be chirped about that game for the rest of my life.  Game 7 happened, we can't change what happened and now let us never speak of it again.

The Leafs had a busy off season for sure.  To be honest, I am not so sure about the moves they made.  First and foremost using one of their two buy outs on Mikhail Grabovski (shown above stabbing a pineapple...yeah that is an actual pictuee of him) was absolutely stupid.  Granted he didn't have the season offensively that he was capable off, and he was getting paid a lot after he signed an big extension under Brian Burke.  But still the guy was extremely skilled and was being used wrong by Randy Carlyle as a 3rd-4th line checking centre.  Carlyle didn't like him so instead of buying-out John Michael Liles and his massive salary (the guy can't even make the NHL roster) they shockingly let Grabovski walk.  Even after he was a free agent it took forever for a team to sign him, it took a couple of weeks for Washington to sign him and a lo and behold he has a Hat Trick in the season opener.  I guarantee when the Leafs play the Capitals he will light them up.  They basically used the money they saved on cutting Grabovski to resign Tyler Bozak to a 5 year $21 million dollar contract.  Ugh, I think they totally overpaid for Bozak, who is OK as a 2nd or 3rd line centre, not a 1st line centre.  Hopefully he proves me wrong, and he did score a beauty short handed goal Tuesday night against the Habs, I just think they're going to end up buying this contract out in a couple of years.

The other big move they made was signing David Clarkson, who was the most sought after free agent on the market.  Don't get me wrong, I love players like Clarkson, he can score, he can forecheck and play good defense, and he isn't afraid to drop the gloves....or leave the bench to fight in a fucking pre-season game which landed him an automatic 10 game suspension.  He's drawn comparisons to Leafs legend Wendel Clark, who was Clarkson's favourite player growing up.  Clarkson is even wearing number 71 which is just Clark's 17 in reverse.  My concern is the massive contract they gave him, a 7 year $36.75 million dollar contract.  That is waaaaay too much money, and way too long a term for a guy like him.  Like I said, once he finally starts playing I think I will end up liking him, but that kind of money is obscene, is he going to be worth the $5.25 million a year when he is a 36 year old ankle burner??  The Leafs signed Dave Bolland too, I like that signing, and he has already worked out great scoring 2 against the Flyers on Wednesday night.  All these signings lead me to believe that head coach Randy Carlyle has fuhrer like control over decisions with this team, GM Dave Nonis is signing the guys that Carlyle likes.  Carlyle seems like an asshole to me, both Grabovski and Clarke MacArthur have trashed him and his style this off season.  But if Carlyle gets the players he wants, and they can get W's, then that's all that counts.  I don't have a Ron "Wrong" Wilson hatred for him yet, but that could happen.

I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about the goalie situation.  For whatever reason Leafs brass do not believe in James "Optimus Reim" Reimer.  I am not going to sit here and say he is the second coming of Martin Brodeur, but he is a solid goalie who led them into the playoffs last year.... plus his wife is a smoke show, as seen above giving her infamous stink eye to Elisha Cuthbert (Phaneuf's wife) last season in the playoffs.  The Leafs went out and signed Jonathan Bernier from LA, who is younger and had less NHL experience than Reimer.  Everyone is high on Bernier, but with Jonathan Quick being yearly Vezina candidate for the Kings every season he was seeing little to no action.  All that being said I really like the idea of the Leafs having an 1a and a 1b goalie.  There have been 2 games thus far and each goaltender has played a game and won and have looked very sharp in those victories.  It's a great problem for the Leafs to have picking who will be the goaltender every game.  Plus with injuries you never know what could happen.  Obviously Carlyle is going to go with the hot hand, if they end up being a true tandem play a 60/40 split of games or something and playing the way the both are capable of playing, I think that will really help the Leafs and their playoff chances.

One of the biggest moves of the off season was made the morning of their season opener.  Phil Kessel re-upped with the Leafs for a 8 year $64 million dollar contract, and unlike David Clarkson I think Kessel is worth every penny.  I don't get how I am constantly defending this guy, with Leafs haters and fans alike. I also don't understand why he is a whipping boy in the Toronto media and he has been since he got here just this week David Feschuk wrote yet another horrible article and in this one he was calling Kessel fat!  Is this fucking grade 6?  The Toronto media doesn't like him because he is doesn't like to talk to them, and I don't blame Kessel who would want to talk to that collection of miscreants.  Kessel has been one of the most consistent pure goal scorers in the last few seasons, and he was AMAZING in the playoffs against Boston, his former team that he always had trouble against.  Imagine his numbers if he was playing with a top flight number 1 centre...not Tyler Bozak, but I think Nazem Kadri can fit that billing in the not too distant future.

Nasty Naz the Skillmatic had an eventful off-season, threatening a hold out and demanding a big extension before settling on a smaller 2 year bridge deal with the Leafs.  Kadri is another guy Leafs management and the media like to shit on.  Granted he is cocky, but I don't think burying him in the AHL or on the 3rd-4th line will help.  Carlyle rides him like a fly on shit, and he has already been in Carlyles dog house this season. I honestly believe in Kadri's potential, and I hope the Leafs don't squander it.  He should be centering the first line with Kessel and Joffrey Lupul on the wing, that line would set the world on fire.

The NHL season is less than a week old and already there is controversy.  In Tuesday nights season opening Leafs and Habs game, Colton Orr and George Parros had their second fight of the night (there was 5 total fights that game), George Parros swang and missed Colton Orr who ducked him, and Parros headed up falling face first into the ice, and had to leave on a stretcher.  Watching that live it was a scary scene to be sure.  Immediately the debate on Twitter launched into the pro-fighting and anti-fighting stance, with the vast majority of media and bloggers that I follow taking a strong anti-fighting stance.  Plenty of words were written over the subject over the next couple of days with columnists like Bruce Arthur and Michael Grange who I respect and columnists I loathe like Damien Cox and Steve Simmons trumpeting having fighting banned from hockey.  My personal opinions have shifted on fighting, I have always enjoyed a good hockey scrap, and when I go to OHL games I am always on my feet cheering when a fight breaks out, but I honestly think someone is going to eventually get seriously hurt, if not die in a hockey scrap soon.  It has already happened in a minor league a few years ago, it could easily happen in the NHL.  To me there is always going to be room in the NHL for a spontaneous fight, something that happens as a result of two players getting on each others nerves after a long, hard game - think Jarome Iginla fighting Vincent Lecavalier in the Stanley Cup final back in '04.  But when hired goons like Orr, Parros, John Scott or whoever drop the gloves 3 minutes into a game just because they have to - the "staged fights" the game can do without.  If you want to watch staged fights go watch the WWE.  People are calling on a full ban on fighting, which I disagree with, maybe just have a game misconduct after a fight, or a fine if you have more than 5 fights, and a bigger fine if you have more than 10.  That will deter the goon vs. goon fights, while allowing more naturally occurring fights to happen.  Even if the NHL does ban fighting (which it wont) I will still watch, Olympic hockey, World Junior hockey and Playoff hockey have little to no fights and that is often considered the best hockey to watch.  People saying they will stop watching or people will stop watching hockey because there is no more fighting are just stupid.

As for the rest of the league, I don't really care or follow it that closely.  I hate the Senators just as much as I ever did, it was hilarious to see that Krusty the Clown looking loser Daniel Alfredsson bolt on them realizing how hopeless they are.  The Sens went out and traded for Bobby Ryan aka Bobby Stevenson who is bound to have a terrible season for them and he will wish he was on the run from the FBI again.  I don't think the Sens will even make the playoffs.  The divisions are all different this year with Detroit and Columbus joining the Eastern Conference.  Once again the NHL screwed this up, I think it is stupid that there is 16 teams in one conference and 14 in the other.  Plus the new division names are so dumb, really the Metropolitan Division?? Why the hell did they call the Leafs division the Atlantic Division, most teams in that division are nowhere close to the Atlantic Ocean, in fact there is closer teams to the Atlantic in the stupid Metropolitan Division than there is the Atlantic Division.  I don't get why they just didn't name the division after old hockey players like they used too.  Name the divisions after Wayne Gretzky or Gordie Howe, Bobby Orr or Dougie Gilmour, you know legends. The playoffs are all different too, the top three teams in each division will advance, and there is 2 wild card teams.  That being said, this how I think the divisions will play out.

* = Wild Card Teams

Atlantic Division

1.  Toronto Maple Leafs
2.  Boston Bruins
3.  Detroit Red Wings
4.  Tampa Bay Lighting*
5.  Ottawa Senators
6.  Montreal Canadiens
7.  Buffalo Sabres
8.  Florida Panthers

Metropolitan Division

1.  Pittsburgh Penguins
2.  New York Rangers
3.  Washington Captials
4.  New Jersey Devils*
5.  Carolina Hurricanes
6.  New York Islanders
7.  Columbus Blue Jackets
8.  Philadephia Flyers

Central Division 

1.  Chicago Blackhawks
2.  St. Louis Blues
3.  Nashville Predators
4.  Minnesota Wild*
5.  Colorado Avalanche
6.  Dallas Stars
7.  Winnipeg Jets

Pacific Division

1.  Los Angeles Kings
2.  Vancouver Canucks
3.  San Jose Sharks
4.  Anaheim Ducks*
5.  Edmonton Oilers
6.  Phoenix Coyotes
7.  Calgary Flames.

Leafs over Los Angeles in the Stanley Cup final, as we will finally get revenge for '93.   

Well enjoy the season everyone, I think I will do a post like this every month or two on how the dominate Leafs season is going, plus me and my friend Killer are going to start a sports podcast, so look for that in the near future too!

Some NHL thoughts

Believe it or not the NHL has almost reached it's midway point in this shortened season, and if the season ended right now the Leafs would be in the playoffs!  The Leafs making the playoffs actually presents somewhat of a crisis for me, I tend to work evenings, and if I have work during a Game 7 of a Leafs playoff series I will lose my shit. This hasn't been a problem for me in the last 9 years (ugh), I guess I am going to have to get that diarrhea disease I said I had to get out of work when I worked at the GoodLife call centre.  Speaking of hell, I always liked getting my stats for the day and finding out I took over 25 minutes worth of shit breaks hahahahaha.  Anyways back to hockey, I have to say I am enjoying the way the Leafs are playing this year, mind you they've had some disaster games but who hasn't?  The goaltending has been spotty at times but both James "Optimus Reim" Reimer and "Big" Ben Scrivens have both had great games, and like I said it my first hockey post, if the Leafs can get consistent goaltending they'll be playoff bound.

One of the main reason for the Leafs being in a playoff position is London Ontario's own and former London Knight Nazem Kadri.  (kudos to TheScore for that Naz as Nas pic, lord knows I'm not that clever).  The guy has been lights out this year, his hat trick last night against the Islanders was a thing of beauty.  I've been on the Kadri bandwagon since his London Knights days, the way that Ron "Wrong" Wilson and Brian Burke treated him should be amongst the main reasons neither is employed with the organization anymore.  Even Dallas "Do you want a bus ride to Petrolia or a cab ride to the Air Canada Centre" Eakins calling him fat at the start of Toronto Marlies training camp is laughable and an example of the clubs shitty handling of him.  Some might argue all this tough love is the reason he's doing so well, I argue that you need your head examined and he should have been on the team all last year.  The only good thing Pierre McGuire has said in his entire life was when he said Naz had "nifty mittens" after a particularly impressive shoot out goal a couple of seasons back.  All this playing on a line with this guy...

The goon Colton Orr!  Seriously Randy Carlyle has been playing this guy a regular shift on his line.  The guy is an ankle burner, who should be buried on the 4th line at best not leading the team in ice time. Don't get me wrong I love hockey fights, I know it's the cool thing to hate on hockey fights, many bloggers and columnists I respect rally against it....but fuck em.  I know all the arguments against it, concussions, and the fact that when it comes down to it they truly serve no purpose whatsoever, but I don't care, a good scrap is awesome.  That all being said, hockey skill wise Colton Orr sucks.  I think Kadri should centre the first line between my boy Phil Kessel and James van Riemsdyk aka van Dreamsdyk.  Speaking of whom, has been incredible this year, kudos to Brian Burke for trading Puke Schenn to Philly for him. 

My boy Phil Kessel has been a lightning rod of controversy in his tenure in Toronto, mainly because of the controversial deal that brought him here.  It seems like I am constantly defending the best player they've had since Sundin. Granted he hasn't scored at the pace we're used to this season, but he has still put up a ton of assists, and some of his passes to van Dreamsdyk for goals this year have been things of beauty. One of my managers at work Ryan, is a die hard Red Wings fan, and he shits on Kessel and the Leafs non-stop.  During the last World Juniors he was going on about how great this nobody Tomas Tatar is for Slovakia and he was a Wings prospect.  I correctly dismissed this plug as a sure fire bust bound for the Circus Leagues.  Anyways Tommy Tatar (pronounced T'Tar in a weird accent) made his NHL debut during Phil Kessel's minor goal scoring slump at the start of the season, and Ryan made a bet with me that this loser Tatar would score before Phil Kessel, and if he did I was not allowed to eat donuts for a year.  Obviously I won that bet, and now Ryan owes me beers, which he conveniently seems to forget.

Amongst many reasons why the Ottawa Senators are the worst team in the history of sports the above video is perhaps the number one reason why.  What a complete and total disaster, I have a hard time picking my favourite part, his crappy helmet falling off, the mic cutting in and out, the lines glued to the back of his shield, the fact that this Roman Warrior is in about as good as shape as I am, or when he says "welcome our heroes" while the Penguins skate out on the ice and the audience boos.  I actually tweeted this video to Mike Commodore, who can be seen standing at the start thinking "what kind of shitty half-assed organization am I a part of?" and he told me that was the most embarrassing moment of his career.

The Sens are so fucking brutal, and I hate all the flukey luck they've had thus far this season.  Jason Spezza, or "Jayshun Scheptcha" as Bryan Murray calls him and Erik "Overrated" Karlsson's injuries should have plunged the shit-stained Sens to the basement where they belong, yet riding flukey goaltending and winning shoot-out games they have some how managed to stay in the conversation in the Eastern Conference playoff race.  I predict this will end very quickly.  Craig Anderson and Ben "Billy" Bishop will regress back to the shitbags that they are, and Daniel Alfreddsson will thankfully retire after this season and we will finally be rid of this ugly Krusty the Clown looking dirtbag forever.   That toolbox owner of theirs Eugene Melnyk went crying to the media about Karlssons injury, saying Matt Cooke did it on purpose, that was an accident.  What that dork and the rest of dorky Sens fans seem to forget is that Marion Hossa blinded and effectively ended Bryan Berard's career with an errant high stick back in 2000.  To me that was a lot more intentional especially considering Berards (justified) decision not to report to the Senators after they drafted him first overall 1995, seems like a bit of a coincidence to me.

As for the rest of the league, you really can't ignore how good the Blackhawks have been, besides the Leafs they're a surefire Stanley Cup contender.  I think in this shortened season anything could still happen, the standings now could look totally different by the end of April or whenever the fuck the playoffs start. 

Anyways that's all for me tonight, we're going to King of the Pigs this coming Wednesday so expect one of my famous food reviews on that.  Big Brother Canada has started, and I am already hooked.  Big Brother is my favourite show and I'm thinking of writing a weekly blog about that.  By the way Suzette on Big Brother Canada is actually the worst.  The woman can barely string a sentence together and she hosts a radio show.  My Heavens.   As always give me a follow on twitter @didhenley

The Good Ol' Hockey Game

The NHL starts an abbreviated 48 game season on Saturday, while I am glad the NHL is back, I really didn't miss it all that much. Perhaps it's because my beloved Toronto Maple Leafs have done sweet fuck all since, gulp, 2004. I also think that the hockey coverage in this country borders on the insane. I'm not even sure why TSN calls it's flag-ship program SportsCentre when it's really just the early edition of That's Hockey, that jerk Darren Dreger blocked me on Twitter too for no apparent reason. At least now they are talking about actual hockey and not that god-forsaken seemingly never ending lock-out. Showing that weasel Gary Bettman walking through a revolving door over and over really got tiresome. I really am not as passionate about hockey as I was in High School and University, but that being said I still enjoy watching the games, and if the Leafs can finally manage to get their shit together the passion will ignite again, and I'll be glued to TSN's 24/7 Hockey coverage.

I am your typical long-suffering Leafs fan. I've been a fan my whole life, living through the ups and the mostly downs. Speaking of Downs, many people have questioned my mental capacity over my support of them, especially recently. Frankly I am sick of all the absolutely horrible jokes "it must be spring because the Leafs are out" and all those hilarious and original signs outside of bars saying "free beer during all Leaf playoff games". You guys are about as funny as Dustin "Screech" Diamond's stand-up comedy...seriously look it up on YouTube, the Holocaust gets more laughs. While I do think it will be hard-pressed for the Leafs to make the playoffs (again, ugh) I think there is some good pieces in place for the future. If they get some consistent goaltending, this could be the year to see a Leafs playoff game in HD, finally. I picked Phil Kessel in the first round of my fantasy hockey pool (7th overall). I don't think I am as insane as everyone thinks I am for it. I'll go ahead and say the Leafs come in 8th, make the playoffs, only to lose to the NY Rangers in the 1st Round.

As much as I love the Leafs, I think I hate the Ottawa Senators just as much, what an abortion of a franchise. Come playoff time all the idiot fairweather fans tell me "well you gotta cheer for the Canadian teams" Fuck you. I wouldn't cheer for the Ottawa Senators if they were playing Al-Qaeda. I hate the Montreal Canadiens a lot too, the whole Quebec thing mainly, but the Leafs and Habs rivalry is really from a bygone day, and the Leafs-Sens playoff battles from the early-2000's are still fresh in my mind (which by the way the Leafs won all of). My room-mate from Saugeen-Maitland Hall, and throughout my remaining years at UWO, Matt "Loguezilla" Logue is a die-hard Sens fan. The first thing I found out about him he was from Burlington (ew) and the second was that he was a Sens fan (puke!). Surprisingly we still remain friends to this day, despite me taking almost every opportunity to harass him about the shitty Sens, he did block me on Facebook for about 8 months though, mostly because I still make fun of him for Cory Clouston. In conclusion, fuck the Sens, the Habs and any team that isn't the Leafs.

Fucking Spartacat. Let me tell you a story about this piece of shit. The year was 2007, me and my good friend Mikey "Concussion" Reed went up to Ottawa to celebrate our other good friend Jonny's 25th birthday party. We had tickets to the Penguins-Senators game, a marquee match up to say the least, and I dropped $90 on a ticket. The drive up was a bit of a shit show, it was a blustery late November day, and eastern Ontario was experiencing their first snow storm of the season. Pretty much from Picton, through Kingston all the way to Ottawa traffic was slowed to a crawl, and the visibility was piss-poor. There was jack-knifed trucks on the highway, I seriously thought I was going to die...I guess it didn't help that I smoked a joint during this whole experience. We arrived to Ottawa a couple of hours later than we wanted to. If you know anything about Jonny Clare is that he likes to party, and he does things like this the right way. He had rented a limo to take us from his house in Greely to the Corel Centre in Kanata. Mikey and I hadn't had a bite to eat since the morning as we were too busy focused on not dieing. So we get in the limo with the Chris "The Chit-Bang" Chitty, his brother Phil and their cousin Willie. All these guys are certified lunatics, I might focus an article on them at a later date. Anyways, in this limo there was a 60 ounce bottle of Grey Goose vodka. This bottle was gone by the time we reached the arena, I must've had 8 or 9 drinks on an empty stomach. Needless to say we were all shit-faced drunk, I crushed another couple of beers once we got into the stadium. Things are a little blurry at this point, I am sure we were all obnoxious drunk assholes. That smug bastard Spartacat sauntered into our section like he fucking owned the place, high-fiving kids, doing all the dumb shit mascots do. This is when Jonny piped up "Hey Spartacat you're a fucking loser!!". Spartacat came over and proceeded to spray Jonny in the face with silly string, Jonny, being the reasonable guy he is threw his full beer at him. Spartacat called over his hired goons, and they kicked him out. Chitty leaned over to us and said "I'm going to go try and smooth things out", his brother Phil correctly said "there is no way Chris is going to smooth things out", turns out he threw his full beer at a security guard and he was kicked out. Once we got the word, we all got up and left. Keep in mind folks this is all about 10 minutes into the 1st period. The game ended up being a dandy, Pittsburgh won 6-5 in a shoot-out.. We had to call the limo back and head back into town where we partied the night away. I'm still bitter at Spartacat for starting shit even after all these years. The picture above is one Loguezilla got for me, he said Spartacat was trying to mend fences, but I don't know if I'm ready to forgive and forget.

Anyways that's all I have for tonight. I went to Hot Italian Sandwiches the other day with the boys, and it was pretty damned good, but not enough for a full on blog review. The next stop is going to be a new Mexican place called Quesada, which I am pretty pumped for. That will warrant a full post!!

In the meantime gang, enjoy the NHL season, and remember pitchers and catchers report in a month. Follow me on twitter! @didhenley