Friday, June 27, 2014

Big Brother 16 Opening Week Thoughts


Your favourite show and mine, Big Brother is back for yet another summer of shenanigans, and hopefully unlike last season we won't all loathe the houseguests for being bigots and genuine pieces of shit!  So Julie Chen has promised us the "most twisted season yet", I honestly take whatever they say in the first couple of weeks with a grain of salt, last year they said it would be the season of no floaters, and I think your average port-a-potty had just as many floaters as the Big Brother 15 cast.  As for the twist this year, I think I like it, but like most of my opinions on this show, it can change in an instant.  When it was first announced last week I thought it was a terrible idea, but when it got explained a little clearer on the show I warmed up to it.  Basically there is going to be two HOH's crowned on the Thursday show, and they will put up 2 nominees each.  Those two sets of nominees will compete against each other on the Sunday episode, and if they win then they will be safe and the person who nominated them will no longer have HOH powers, so conceivably whoever wins HOH can be dethroned, and get nominated for eviction during the veto ceremony.  I hate stupid twists, and wish they would leave well enough alone, but this could make things interesting in the first couple of weeks. There will be a whole new strategy involving nominating players, because you're going to want to put up weaker players so they lose the Battle of the Block, so in that sense a bunch of the shitty deadweight will be eliminated soon, rather than having people gunning for the big players right off the hop and having the floaters float on until the end.

 
As for the Team America Twist.... I hate it.  Joey somehow won the first week, and that was before pictures emerged with her boobs out on the live feeds.  If all Team America is doing is wacky things around the house to fuck with them that is fine, but if this alliance somehow affects game play then I am against dead against it.  Big Brother Canada had too much audience involvement last season and it altered the show. Friggin Frankie has a YouTube channel with over a million subscribers, his sister is shrieking away on one of the biggest Top 40 hits of the summer, so obviously he is going to get a lot of votes, how is that fair that he already has this huge fan base compared to the other players?  As for any other alliances I won't take them too seriously to begin with as it is way too early.  Sometimes early alliances work out (The Brigade, The First 5 on BBCAN before the twist fucked them) but other times early alliances go up in flames (The Moving Company, The Regulators), so I don't think The Crazy 8's or El Quatro have any sway so far. 
 
I don't have too much to go on for the house but I will give you some of my first impressions so far, but like ol' Donny I barely remember their names!
 
Amber: Smoke show, there is some modelling pictures of her floating around online.  Hopefully she sticks around for a bit.
 
Brittany:  Also a smoke show, and she's pumped out three kids?
 
Caleb:  Redneck who likes to kill things but claims he is a meterosexual because he combs his hair and wears cologne.  He's an Army vet and has already won a tough HOH challenge, I can see him sticking around for a bit.  He did look pretty creepy in the HOH comp though....
 
 
 
Christine: She says she likes to be naked so that should be interesting on the feeds.  She looks like a combination of Wil and Ian from Big Brother 14.
 
Cody: Meh there is someone like Cody on every season of Big Brother, boring athletic dude the girls drool over.  Hasn't really said or done much of interest yet.
 
Derrick:  He is a Narc!! How many harmless pot smokers has this guy busted over the years? He kind of looks like he has special needs.
 
Devin:  The minor league ball player who everyone says looks like The Rock.  I think he looks more like a jacked version of Ricky Romero who used to play for the Blue Jays.... the way Romero's baseball career is going, he is likely to be on some reality show within a couple of years.
 
Donny:  He is actually my favourite so far.  When I first saw the cast pictures I thought he was just a Duck Dynasty wannabe, I gave the over/under of him spewing vile about gays and black people at two episodes, but he seems like the opposite.  He's made me laugh the most so far, and I can see that keeping up, that being said because he is the oldest and different from the rest of the house I don't see him lasting long.
 
Frankie: Pretty annoying - it seems like it is the Frankie Show so far, and I am sure he is going to want to keep it that way and will do anything for attention.  Like I said before it's kind of unfair that he already has a big "fanbase" if America is going to be influencing the show in anyway.
 
Hayden:  At first I thought it was going to be David (BB15) v. 2.0, but unlike David he can actually string a sentence together.  But saying that Amber looks like Whitney Houston?? Maybe you are as dumb as David.... Speaking of David, here is what he is up too now....
 
 
 
Jacosta:  Ugh, who told you that bowties is a good look? Did Jesus? She is going to really grind my gears this season with the bowties, and the over the top Christianity.  Religion is not my thing, and I have no problem if you're religious or go to church but people like that are the worst.  I am sure God and Jesus have better things to worry about than your performance on fucking Big Brother.  When I first saw her picture I legit thought she was a midget.
 
Joey:  I am sure Milhouse would look a lot better without the ridic blue hair. I think she'll stick around for a bit.
 
Nicole:  I like her so far, she said she is a big fan of the show, with the American version I'd say half the cast are "recruits" where they have modeling careers or have done other stuff and were picked to be on the show over going through the audition process, but she is a super-fan (so is Christine).  As a glasses wearer I am not sure why the trend is to wear these big assed Steve Urkel things on your face, get some normal frames for christs sake, I am sure she would look better with them!
 
Paola:  How do you pronounce her name again? Is it like Paula?  She seems pretty cocky, but other than that I don't have too much to say about her!
 
Victoria:  Jewish American Princess.  Sorry you're not the hottest in the house like you think you are, she looks more like the girl from my Big Fat Greek Wedding.
 
Zach: Wow this guy is an arsehole deluxe.  He said he doesn't have any friends, no fucking wonder!  He'll probably rub people the wrong way and end up being evicted soon.
 
Well that's it for my first post of the season, I will try to have these up every week after the Thursday eviction.  Until then give me a follow on Twitter @HDH2112 as I usually tweet things out during the episodes!

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