After a
Western Conference
VS
Last season the LA Kings won the Stanley Cup as the 8 seed out of the west. I can safely say there is no chance this will happen again. The Blackhawks have been the elite of the NHL this season, and I see that trend continuing in the playoffs. The Wild "loaded up" this past off-season, throwing obscene money at Ryan Suter and Zach Parise, but they only managed to squeak into the playoffs. They are perhaps the most boring team of all time, plus that have that clown Dany Heatley, which is just unfortunate. This series will be done quickly.
Prediciton: Blackhawks in 4
VS
Fuck the Red Wings. How pathetic does your team have to be to be "presented by Amway". They're a bunch of jerks, and so are their fans, two particular people come to mind, my friend Killer and my other friend Ryan. The Wings had a garbage year, but still managed to make the playoffs. I would have been ecstatic if they didn't make the playoffs, but quick exit at the hands of a very good Ducks team will have to do.
Prediciton: Ducks in 5
VS
For a few years now the San Jose Sharks have been the trendy media pick to win the Stanley Cup and year after year they've disappointed in the playoffs. I think this year will be different, nobody has talked much about the Sharks this year, and I can see them going on a decent run this playoffs. As for Vancouver, I hate them. The Sedin sisters creep me out, they are a bunch of whining divers, and that fat opera singer that sings Oh Canada before games is a dork. The only good thing about this team is Roberto Luongo's twitter account.
Prediction: Sharks in 6
VS
I honestly have very little to say about this series. I don't think I watched the St. Louis Blues play a single game this year. It's kind of cool that Jay Bouwmeester is finally playing a playoff game after all these years. If Halak can get hot for them like he did for the Habs a few years back anything can happen I suppose. The Kings are the defending champs, I don't think they'll win it all again, but I see them advancing to the 2nd round. This series is going to be a boring defensive struggle, I don't imagine I'll be going out of my way to watch any of it.
Prediction: Kings in 6
Eastern Conference
VS
Good for the Islanders for making the playoffs, I think he future looks bright for the team, especially with a move to the fancy Barclay's Center in Brooklyn on the horizon. John Tavares is one of the best players in the league, and Nabakov has been playing like his old self lately. However, all that won't be enough to get by the Penguins, with or without Crosby they're just too good. As long as the Islanders don't have that fucktard Steve Webb playing for them anymore they're good with me.
Prediciton: Penguins in 5
VS
Ugh, two of the worst franchises in all of sports battle it out to see which one can earn most of my scorn. Picking a winner of this series will be akin to picking between licking up a pile of vomit or a pile of diarrhea. This time of year people come out and say "you gotta cheer for the Canadian team no matter what". This is such bullshit, I can't imagine any scenario where I would root for either the Montreal Canadiens or the Ottawa Senators. I really couldn't give a flying fuck that a Canadian team hasn't won the Cup since 1993, I won't be any happier if any other Canadian team besides the Leafs won the Cup, than I would if any American team won. Most American teams who have won the Cup recently have more Canadians on the team then the shitty Habs or woeful Senators do. I wish nothing but the worst for either team and hope they both implode with injuries and are forced to concede from the playoffs. I can't even bring myself to make a prediction.
Prediction: Who gives a fuck
VS
The Rangers were one of the most disappointing teams in the league this year, after coming close to the Stanley Cup final last year, and adding Rick Nash in the off-season, many, myself included thought the Rangers would be near the top the the Eastern Conference this year. But they struggled mightily and barely made the playoffs. Washington got off to a horrific start, but as of late have been one of the top teams in the league. I love Alex Ovechkin, and he has finally remembered how to play like Ovi can. I think this is going to be a great series, but the Rangers have Lundqvist, and as we have seen a millions times in the past in the playoffs, goaltending wins series. I can totally see the Rangers erasing their woes from the season and making a run this year.
Prediction: Rangers in 6
VS
The Leafs clinched a playoff spot over a week ago and I am still giddy over it. The last time the Leafs were in the playoffs, I just finished my 3rd year at UWO, was living in Hamilton and working in the kiosk at the RBG. Earlier that playoffs the Leafs beat the shitty Sens in 7 games, Game 7 will always be remembered by Patrick Lalime having a meltdown, letting in a few quick Joe Nieuwendyk goals, and that was truly the last time I've been happy as a Leafs fan. I remember May 4th 2004 like it was yesterday, me and my friends converged on Ando's attic to watch the game, we ordered a shit tonne of chicken wings from Chaps (still amongst the best Wings I have ever had), as usual we were smoking dope and drinking beers, oh the amount of weed smoked in that attic back then. The Leafs rallied back in the 3rd period being down 2-0 to force overtime, then that little shit Jeremy Roenick came in on a breakaway and scored on Eddie Belfour. I cried. If I had known it would take another 9 years for the Leafs to make the playoffs again, there would have been a full on meltdown of tears. This year the Leafs are matched up against the dreaded Boston Bruins, who safe to say have owned the Leafs the last few years. The last two times, however the Leafs played a hell of a lot better against them, beating the Bruins one game and losing in a shoot-out the next, it's irrelevant if the Bruins beat them 20 of the previous 22 contests. It's gonna be a tough series, but I think the Leafs can pull it off, never underestimate the underdog. If Optimus Reim gets hot, and the Lupul-Kadri-Kessel lines clicks, anything can happen. Zdeno Chara is a fucking oafish lurch, Tyler Seguin is over-rated, and Milan Lucic is going to get his face pounded in on a nightly basis by Colton Orr and/or Fraser McClaren. Get used to the Leafs car flags folks, they're going to be out for a while this year.
Prediction: Leafs in 7.
So that's it for my preview for the first round, I might do another one for the other rounds, but like I said earlier, unless the Leafs are involved I'm likely to lose interest as the playoffs go on. Hockey should not be played in late June when it is 25 degrees and sunny out. Feel free to disagree with me in the comments section or hit me up on twitter @didhenley
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