Tuesday, August 04, 2015

Everything is Happening!!!! Jesus Price!!!


Lord Thunderin' Jesus

When I last wrote my "weekly" sports blog, the Jays had just limped into the All-Star Break and they were about to embark on a West Coast trip, and once again I was hoping the Jays would pull the trigger on a move.

Jesus H. Christ the Jays not only pulled the trigger, they launched nuclear fuckin' missiles.  Never in my wildest dreams did I envision the trades the Jays made.  David Fucking Price buds.  I still get goosebumps seeing him in Blue Jay blue.

The first move was sending Jose Reyes and prospects for Troy Tulowitzki.  Troy Fucking Tulowitzki, only who many believe to be the best shortstop in baseball! This trade happened in the middle of the night, I got up at 3:45 am to rock a piss, and of course the first thing I look at is my phone, and I see a bunch of Notifications about the trade... I was up for the next hour laying in bed refreshing Twitter on my phone to get the latest #hot #takes.  My bud and Jays Blogger extraordinaire Andrew Stoeten must've pulled an all-nighter because he was right in the middle of things, even Fav'ing one of my tweets at 4:20 am.


The Tulowitzki trade came out of absolutely nowhere, he was the face of the Colorado Rockies organization and is in the middle of a 10 year contract, but somehow AA managed to get him and LaTroy "I'm Too Old For This Shit" Hawkins (who has been awesome) For a declining Jose Reyes and some prospects.

It does suck to see Reyes go, he always embraced Toronto and always had a smile on his face playing (much to the chagrin of Jerry Howarth).  Reyes wasn't nearly as bad as his detractors said, but holy fuck did he ever have some poorly timed errors.  I wish Reyes well in Colorado, but my goodness Tulo is a dream.  He had that amazing debut game, and has been solid ever since, and you don't have to worry about a routine fucking ground ball go through his legs.


What can I possibly say that hasn't already been said about David Price 1000 times over.  My heart went aflutter when I heard the news, this is the best pitcher the Jays have had since Roy Halladay.  Price was incredible in his debut on Monday, and the whole town has embraced him.  Price has said that it was the best atmosphere he has ever pitched in, and he has been to the playoffs.  I watch 95% of Jays games anyways, but Price starts are going to be must-see TV, especially against the asshole Yankees on Saturday afternoon.

Despite the euphoria there was a smattering of garbage clowns poo-pooing the prospects they gave up.  As Alex Rios said "WHO GIVES A FUCK!?!"  Yes they could end up being All-Stars but they could also be like JP Arencibia and Ricky Romero.  In 2009 would you have wanted to trade Romero and Arencibia for a rental like Price?  Fuck no, but now both those guys are pretty much out of baseball.  Flags Fly Forever and yes the Jays gave up 11 pitching prospects, but fuck this team could win the World Series.  Plus, who is to say that Price doesn't re-sign?  Beeston is gone after this year and so his ridiculous 5 year cap for contracts.  Rogers has BILLIONS... it's time to pony up the dough.

This is the year buds.  This is the one we've been waiting since 1993 for, I have nothing buy sky-high expectations for this team.  For years all I have been asking for is meaningful games in September, this is the year we will not only get that but meaningful games in October. 

The Week Ahead: vs. Minnesota (8/4 - 8/6) @ New York Yankees (8/7 - 8/9).  This is a pretty big week for the Jays they are currently tied with Minnesota for the 2nd Wild Card and they are chasing the Yankees for 1st in the AL East.  By the end of this week they could well have a playoff position solidified and be only a mere game or two out of the lead in the East swoooooooooooooooon.  I'm going to the game on Thursday too!


After Sunday's bru-ha-ha there is a bounty of Squid of the Weeks to choose from.  Could it be Edison Valquez for starting this shit by throwing at Josh Donaldson and then saying he was a baby and is "no Barry Bonds"  Could it be Umpire Jim Wolf who had one of the most poorly umpired game I have seen in my life, calling the absurd warning, failing to enforce it THREE times then doing so against Blue Jay Aaron Sanchez.  It could be fucking MLB for giving Sanchez an absurd 3 game suspension for nothing, but no it is Royals Manager Ned Yost.  

This fucking squid actually went on record saying that he thought the umpiring was "phenomenal"  Get the fuck out of here.  That's some next level trolling, it's unbelievable.  He's a terrible manager and a terrible person, the KC Royals have been involved in 3 bench clearing incidents this season, but no it's always the other teams fault

Fuck the KC Royals as a staff, record label and as a motherfucking crew, and if you want to be down with the KC Royals then fuck you too.  I hope we see those squids in the ALCS so we can demolish those assholes on a national stage.



The Ti-Cats finally played a game back at Horton's Field and boy was it worth the wait, demolishing the ever loving piss out of the woeful Argos.  I was pretty chewed at the game so I don't remember too much of the X's and O's but I do remember cheering a lot, and thinking the Tim Horton's Field has the best home field advantage out of any team in the CFL, and how much I love being there.

Things I do remember is some of the Heckles of the Week.  Well I don't remember a lot of them but, I did heckle some kids hahaha (not my finest hour)

I saw two kids in Argos Jerseys and first I called them "Squidlets" and said that they had no futures.


My best heckle was to these idiot Argo Fans.  They made everyone go to the concourse because there was Lightning in the area, and I see these Argos fans all decked out in shitty Argo gear, and one was holding up two flags and I said:

"Leave it to an idiot Argo fan to hold up a pole during a Lightning Storm!!"

That got a few laughs... I really got to start writing these down because my friends had some really solid heckles too.


The Week Ahead: vs. Winnipeg (8/10)  Back at Hortons Field for a bizarre Sunday 5pm game.  Winnipeg is trash, and I can see the Cats going on a solid run with all these home games on the horizon. 


2 comments:

Hologram Tupac said...

A million points for the Tupac-inspired Royals burn the world has been waiting for

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