Big Brother 16 Week 10 Thoughts

Can we just give Derrick the $500K now and spare us the last two weeks of this bullshit?  This season of Big Brother has quickly degenerated into one of the most predictable, boring seasons yet.  Every single fucking eviction has been an unanimous vote, nobody has the calzones to make a big move, instead "going with the house" and "not wanting to get blood on their hands" has won the day. Fuck Off.  Like Nicole said you're not playing Big Baby you're playing Big Brother.  Obviously the Froot Loop Dingus Nicole was the first one out tonight, her coming back into the game is bullshit to begin with, and she was targeted right off the bat.  So good bye Nicole, have fun with Hayden in the jury house. 

Being Double Eviction night I was hoping that Frankie was going to be next to go, in the little pow-wow's Derrick held (PS Derrick looked pretty pissed off that he won HOH) it sounded like the plan was to back door Frankie, so obviously that little turd goes out and wins the Veto.  I let out an audible FUCK!! when that happened.  So in yet another predictable move, the wretched Christine was shown the door... not only did she burst out the door without saying good bye to anyone she was unmercifully booed back to the stone age!  Aaryn the Aryan didn't even get that much boo's last season and she was genuinely reprehensible, to me it sounded like it was just one guy doing the majority of the booing but it's not like the rest of the audience was clapping either.  Christine talked A LOT of shit on the live-feeds (not just current house guests, but past house guests), she was instrumental in getting fan-favourite Donny out, plus she had that whole weird touchy-feely relationship with Cody, that rubbed everyone the wrong way.  The houseguests obviously heard all the boo's, as soon as the feeds came back on I read on Twitter that Frankie said she was talking shit about HIM in the Diary Rooms and that is why she got booed.  Jesus Jumped Up Christ he is a self-centred piece of shit, the boo's better RAIN DOWN on him when he is finally mercifully evicted from this god forsaken house.

Great now we have this fucking thing, the "BB Rewind" as far as I can see this is just a desperate ploy by the producers to breathe a little bit of life in this dull season.  I've read that ratings have taken a real nose dive in the last couple of weeks.... most likely because Frankie is a vile cretin.  The 6 or 7 loyal readers of my Big Brother blogs (Thank you for reading by the way!!) all know that I despise twists, but if Frankie wins HOH and this ends up fucking him over than I am all for it, if it somehow helps Frankie I am going to shit bricks.  Knowing these jackasses none of them are going to press the button because they want to play its safe and not want to get any blood on their hands.

Other Random Thoughts

THIS IS IMPORTANT: Remember last week when I said the CBS is going to start airing Thursday Night Football as of September 11?  I read tonight that for the next two weeks Big Brother will be on Sunday, Tuesday and Wednesday... I am not sure if that is the same in Canada, or if that is just an American thing, but I am sure Global will air it at the same time as they do in Murrica.

EDIT :  It's been pointed out to me that my beloved Julie Chen did make this abundantly clear tonight, I might have flipped to the Blue Jays game or was looking on Twitter when this happened!!

I read spoilers, and maybe that is why I have found everything so fucking boring recently.  The HOH, nominations, and veto are all done by Sunday, so I knew then Caleb was a fucking wuss and did not back-door Frankie and went the safe route by putting up Victoria as the replacement nomination.  All I could do during the Wednesday episode is shake my head and give the middle finger to my TV.  I can't help but read spoilers though, I am such a Nosey Parker, I totally snooped for Christmas presents when I was a kid.

Can we ban Frankie from hosting competitions?  He is so fucking annoying, he really is in for a rude awakening when he is out of the house as can be seen here:

Joker's Updates does a poll on the houseguests popularity and Frankie has overwhelmingly been in last place for weeks, but I am sure he thinks that everyone still loves him.  I make notes on my phone throughout the week for this blog (nerd alert I know), 90% of my notes are either "Fuck Frankie" "I hate Frankie" or "Frankie is a steaming pile of shit".  Fuck Ariana Grande as well, her name sounds like some pretentious fucking Starbucks order.  I knew this night wouldn't end well when she Bleeding Gums Murphy'd her way through the Star Spangled Banner before the Packers-Seahawks game.

Team America is still a thing?  Good fucking lord, enough is enough, when are they going to realize how much of a flop this is.

Derrick is obviously going to win and should win, but he is going about it in the most boring way possible.  He has controlled the entire season, good for him, but bad for the viewers!  That being said I like his strategy, he's there to win $500K for his family, not to entertain the masses.

Victoria has played the perfect second place game.  She is completely useless so of course she is going to be strung along in the end.  Not a bad way to earn $50K for a summer of doing nothing.  The 4 remaining guys would be absolutely stupid not to take her to Final 2.

Cody isn't the only dinosaur that has been in the Big Brother house, remember Jerry from Big Brother 10?

JUDAS!!!!!!!!

EDIT: I found out HOH spoilers, so read them after this.  I'll leave this paragraph in anyways though.

As for what happens next week, well it'll be either Caleb, Cody or Frankie that will win HOH, as Derrick can't play and Victoria doesn't have a fucking clue.  I can only hope that Cody wins as he seems to be the most gung-ho about getting Frankie out.  Caleb is too loyal to his Bomb Squad (which doesn't actually exist), which he thinks he is the leader of (which he never was, Ninja Turtle Devin was), and he would push for Victoria to leave, I can see his Army background being the root of that, being loyal in combat and outside the Big Brother house is a great quality, but this is a game, get the fucking knives out and stab someone in the back.  Plus there is this retarded Rewind thing.  As long as it is Frankie walking out the door I'll be happy.

Uhhhh, so you can forget that whole last paragraph.  But anyways, fucking shitty god damned Frankie won the HOH..... BUT!  They pushed that stupid button, so his whole HOH week will be all for not!! I can't wait to see the look on that little weasel's face when Julie Chen tells him his HOH meant nothing.  But with our luck this season they'll re-do everything and fucking Frankie will win HOH again.  Booooooo.

Big Brother 16 Week 9 Thoughts

Well that was very upsetting.  No, not the usual hysterics of the houseguests when they see their families, but things got a little dusty when Donny was evicted from the Big Brother house.  He was crying, he said that the rest of the houseguests "hurt his heart" he revealed that he had to quit his job in order to come on the show.  Donny is one of the most genuine, sweetest people that have ever been on any TV show, let alone Big Brother.  He was an outcast right from the jump, he is older than everyone else, and unlike the rest of these areseholes he is actually a decent person.  7 times on the block is pretty rough, and unfortunately it was just a matter of time before he went home.  The picture above was the moment when Julie Chen told him that he was going to be a guest star on the Bold and the Beautiful, look how happy he looks!! I really hope that he gets his old job back, or better yet gets something better than being Groundskeeper Willie.  Fuck Frankie and Derrick for using shitty Team America against him, my feelings for Team America are well known but I hate that poor Donny tried his hardest for them and was hoping that they would save him in the end.  Frankie is such a little weasel for saying that he "tried so hard" to save him, go fuck yourself bud.  If he actually tried to save Donny and not put on that shitty skit, Donny would be safe and he would've been $5K richer.  By the way, mad props to my beloved Julie Chen for telling that turd Frankie that he got an OVERWHELMING NO! I am glad it was him who found out that America hated his ridiculous skit.  Speaking of Frankie...

I thought this was pretty funny, I was texting my sister the other night during the show and I was about to say I hate Frankie, I typed in "I hate" and my phone automatically suggested I put in Frankie (or Devin!! hahaha) It's pretty hilarious that I have texted that I hate Frankie so much that my phone auto-fills it for me (Devin the Ninja Turtle too!) Frankie is one of my most hated houseguests ever.  Fuck he is the worst, I am so over his Diary Room attention whore antics, him announcing that HOH competition on Sunday was a million times worse than when Brendon hosted the HOH competition as a wizard on BB12 and he was over-acting the whole thing....

Frankie thinks he is all that and a bag of chips.  Get off my TV forever, I guarantee you Donny is going to get more acting gigs than you will once the show ends.  Does Frankie have any fans?? Everyone I talk to about the show and all the Big Brother types I follow on Twitter hate his guts... I think only 11 year old Arianna Grande fan girls make up the majority of his fan base.

Jesus Christ is there an uglier couple on planet earth than these two??  I know not everyone can be stunners like yours truly but YECCHH I certainly hope that they don't breed.  That segment with Christine's husband and family was very uncomfortable and went on a little too long.  Her husband seemed to take it all in good humour, but he is obviously hurt by the whole thing.  Christine's Mom was hilarious when she sided with the rest of us saying that she didn't want Christine to win!  I'm no prude by any stretch of the imagination but Cody and Christines non-stop cuddling is wrong, they both should be ashamed of themselves, especially Cody, he knows full well she is married and can end this whenever.  As much as I shit on houseguests on this blog they are real people at the end of the day (except Frankie) and hopefully they can sort out their issues after the show.

Other Random Thoughts

HOH Spoiler is at the end... Cody had a better chance of winning this competition than Victoria, and he isn't even playing.

Now that Donny is gone I really don't like anyone left.  Having no Zach and now no Donny is going to make for a boring final month of Big Brother, the only thing I am wishing for now is a swift Frankie exit.

Derrick is a good player but he talks with his hands too much, it's getting pretty annoying.

The "Temptation" for them during the HOH competition was pretty fucking stupid if you ask me, you mean to tell me they are going to TRY to get a measly $5K and earn a punishment over getting HOH and safety? Not even Caleb is that stupid.  That "Holllaaaaaa" thing is less annoying that Frankie, however.

CBS is airing Thursday Night Football as of September 11th, and the finale is on Wednesday September 24th, so what the fuck is going to happen to Big Brother on Thursday the 11th and the 18th??  The football games start at 8:30, and there is always a pre-game show, so is Big Brother going to be moving to another night?  On an aside thank fuck NFL season is back, even though I am a Bills fan and they are on track for another dreadful season.

Double Eviction next week... these are tough to predict.  If Nicole wins this HOH then that will stir shit up, if it is anyone else it will be Nicole gone first, as these arseholes are unbelievably predictable.  I really hope Frankie is one of the houseguests gone, but I can see production saving him again.  I saw a pretty funny tweet about Frankie, and I wish I saved it, it was from the hilarious @MissCleoBB (who I have got pictures from many times for this blog).  He said "even though I am a homo, Frankie makes me homophobic"  that sums it up pretty perfectly there!

Dork Mode Nerd Boy won the HOH competition.  Yawn.  Surprisingly Derrick ended up taking the $5K so now there is going to be 5000 Hollas now too?  I think Derrick made a mistake doing that, he may be getting a little cocky with all the power he has in the house, and he better watch out, because anything can happen, production might plant some seeds in their heads about getting him out.  That being said Nicole is going to be Caleb's target and she is donezo for sure on Thursday.

Big Brother 16 Week 8 Thoughts

Everyone's favourite bi-curious shit disturber Zach is out of the Big Brother house, and I think that is going to suck.  Like I have mentioned before I've been hot and cold on Zach all year... on one hand he is a cry baby who bursts into tears like a petulant child when things don't go his way (did you see him sulk after Kathy Griffin delivered that vicious zing above?), he has that whole weird homo-erotic relationship with Frankie... I don't care if you're gay, but really Frankie?  Frankie is vile, he could do a lot better than that.  All that being said he was the most entertaining house guest this season and things are going to be a little flat around the house without him.  Ultimately he got fucked over by stupid shitting puking fucking puke shit arsehole Team America and especially Frankie.  Zach deserves the money Team America gets (especially fucking Frankies cut) because he is the only reason their stupid missions were successes. Because he was such a trouble maker everyone easily blamed him for stealing all their shit which was a "final straw" for some allowing them to set the stage for his backdoor.  I have a feeling Frankie has been backdooring Zach all summer, so I guess it is only fitting that he was evicted that way.

Zach had the chance to get back in the house along with Jocasta, Hayden and Nicole, and I was really rooting for Zach to get back in because he would've caused a ruckus and it would have fucked over Frankie royally.  But it was all for not, as Nicole the Froot Loop Dingus with the most annoying voice in the world is back, meh.  The shocking thing is Jacosta was within a dick hair of winning... that would've sucked, where was your messiah there Mama J??  She would have been good for some sassy Diary Rooms but that's about it.  The competition itself was pretty lame to get them back in, it should've been an endurance competition, see who wanted it the most! Nicole is likely to go after Christine which is good, but I don't think she is going to be a threat to Derrick's eventual win.

Ugh, I really hate Christine, I hate her even more after the Battle of the Block competition where she purposely was throwing it to screw over Donny.  The whole Skittles thing and the whole throwing of competitions is a disgrace to the Big Brother game, and these idiots can't even get that right!  They should all be ashamed of themselves and good for Donny for fucking with their plans time after time, Donny is the best!

Other Random Thoughts

The HOH is determined...spoilers at the end and thank fuck the Double HOH twist is over!!

We all know Caleb is as dumb as a fucking post, but he actually thinks the Bomb Squad is still a thing and that he is the leader?

Zingbot is one of the highlights of the Big Brother season for me, I love insult comedy whether it be the Comedy Central Roasts or Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, I was a little upset at first that Zingbot was giving "props" but he came back with a vengeance!! The great thing about Zingbot is that it is the first chance that the houseguests get to hear what the outside world thinks of them.  Caleb found out that everyone thinks he is a stalker, Zach that he is gay, that Vicboria is useless etc.  It must get them thinking, especially how Caleb and Christine got zinged on all their extra curricular activities.   Kathy Griffin's zing on Zach was the best, however!  I wish they had Zingbot on BBCAN.

Cody is HOH... meh, so pretty much Derrick is HOH for the 8th week in a row.  As for who is he going to put up?? Probably Donny for the billionth time, maybe Nicole too because it is bullshit that she is back in the game... I'll say Nicole and Victoria and Donny gets backdoored :(

Big Brother 16 Week 7 Thoughts

The Fruit Loop Dingus is gone and the Big Brother producers got their stupid wet dream of having someone go from HOH to evicted the same week fulfilled, so can we finally end the STUPID double HOH twist??  Nicole got screwed over pretty badly this week, she had a pretty solid plan in place where Frankie was the target that the rest of the house and the entire world agreed upon but he managed to weasel his way out of.  I reluctantly have to give Frankie some credit for pulling off the Battle of the Block victory after Caleb refused to participate, but he's still annoying as fuck and I want him off my TV immediately.  Have you all noticed that during the Thursday episode whatever houseguest they focus on during the first part of the show is always the one eliminated?  They always make it seem that they are hashing out a plan and that they are safe....only to be unanimously booted 10 minutes later.  As we all know there is a chance that Nicole is going to be come back in the show, so we may not have seen (or unfortunately have heard) the last of the Fruit Loop Dingus.

I am so sick of Frankie, get the fuck out of here... and he is HOH again this week too, wonderful.  What the fuck is a social media mogul anyways??  He is a massive loser who is riding the coat tails of his flavour of the month pop-star sister.  I don't know why I did this but I sat through Ariana Grande's latest video and it was one of the most dreadful things I have watched in my entire life.  Zach had a little melt down over Frankie playing for children in Africa (I call bullshit on that btw) but I agree with Zach's sentiments there, all these players are playing for themselves and their families and could use the $500K but Frankie is trying to show them all up saying he is playing for starving Africans, and his family probably is sitting on a ton of money so he does not need it.  Frankie is a self-centered twat, he feels the need to be in the centre of absolutely everything and the sooner he is out of the house the better.

Other Random Thoughts:

Derrick and Frankie are the HOH's and I know their nominees... spoilers as usual at the end.

Christine sucks.  The live-feeders have been talking about her clinging and cuddling to Cody for weeks, and they touched on it on the episode last night.  Apparently her husband is pretty upset and has tweeted about how disappointed and hurt he is by her actions.  Well that should be fun for her when she gets home.

If Victoria had a brain the size of her nose she may have a chance to do something in this game.  Jesus Christ, she's as dumb as a post.  She thought her and Derrick was the only alliance in the game?  And she was in tears when she heard he was in another alliance?  Cripes all Friday get a fucking clue.  That being said I think she is going to pull a Slobrina from BBCAN2 and weasel her way late into the game, she has absolutely no chance of winning though.

I hate to admit this but Caleb has gotten a little more tolerable since Amber left and he isn't a massive creeper anymore.  Beast Mode Cowboy is still the most insufferable thing I have heard in my life, but I don't think he as bad as I once thought.... he is still stupid as fuck though.

I feel awful for Donny.  He is genuinely one of the most kind-hearted people to ever play this game... which unfortunately may not make him cut out for Big Brother.  He's constantly a target, and being 10 years older than the next closest house guest (and 15-20 years older than most of them!) makes him an outsider.  He's NEVER a part of any plans or discussions, and he genuinely does feel left out.  He's not going to win but at least he has his Team America (Fuck Yeah!) money and is definitely going to win the $25K as America's Favourite Player.

Speaking of shitty Team America is this still a thing?? I've missed watching it live the last few weeks and have been watching it online and they never mention having to vote for any challenges on the online version, but this week they said their mission failed... I didn't even know they had a mission??  That just goes to show what a total flop that twist was.

 

 

Frankie nominated Caleb and Cody, and Derrick nominated Christine and Donny.  The Battle of the Block hasn't happened yet, so it is tough to say who I think is going home, plus I just read who was nominated I don't know what the discussions were or any context.  Out of those 4 nominated I would like to see Christine gone, but if they can back door Frankie that would be brilliant! 

 

REVIEW: Memphis Fire BBQ Company

Today's review takes us way the fuck out to the middle of nowhere to the Memphis Fire BBQ Company in Winona, Ontario.  Although Winona is technically a part of the City of Hamilton it might as well be in Buttfuck, Idaho... that being said it's well worth the trip to the boonies to have some of the best BBQ you will ever taste.  This is the 7th place I have been to that has been featured on "You Gotta Eat Here", when they filmed at this location that nerd John Cattuchi sampled a bunch of their bizarre breakfast concoctions (coconut pineapple pancakes with a side of bratwurst sausage and beans, say whaaaaaat?) but since I tend to drag myself out of bed at the crack of noon every day there was no way I was going to make it there for breakfast, what they should have featured was their amazing dinner fare.

First up was our appetizer, a family sized portion of Ranch Fries which feature house made ranch sauce, and mountains of bacon crumble and cheese (plus some shitty green onions).  These fries were amazing, and holy shit did you get a big portion, I made the rookie mistake of loading up on these fries before my main course and laboured to finish most of my dinner.  I went with two buddies who share the same love of food that I do and we couldn't even finish it all.

This was my dinner, the Pulled Pork platter, the two sides are their famous smoked beans and macaroni and cheese.  You had the option of getting a Pulled Pork or Brisket Sandwich with one side, or a platter with two sides.  The pulled pork was fantastic, amongst the best that I have ever had, it would've been great on a sandwich with some of that slaw, but I wanted to maximize my sides.  The beans were amazing too, these were cooked in their smoker and had pieces of beef brisket mixed into it.  The mac and cheese on the other hand may have been the weak link of the meal, but mix some of the pork in with it and that kicks up the flavour exponentially.

The prices are pretty good, a beer, my meal and a 1/3rd of the fries plus taxes and tip only set me back about $30, which is pretty standard and I was stuffed beyond belief, I really needed a nap after eating all that food.  I even took some food home with me, I am a little embarrassed by that fact as I usually never have left-overs.  I had the meat sweats that night something awful, I have sweat more from meat in the last few years than from exercise that's for damn sure.  I will definitely be returning, they have Fried Chicken Night on Monday-Wednesday but I have a hard time believing that anything can be better than Popeye's.  I was THIS close to getting the ribs, as ribs are one of my favourite foods and the ribs are served Thursday-Sunday.  I think I will be getting the ribs next time I go.  It is well worth the drive to Winona!

REVIEW: Arby's Beef Dip

In the world of fast food, Arby's seems to be the forgotten middle child.  The most publicity they ever got was when David Puddy would always take Elaine to dinner there on Seinfeld.  Look at their stupid mascot, a sleepy eyed fucking oven mitt!  But, there is a damn good reason Puddy always went to Arby's, it is fucking delicious.  Last weekend I went to the Richardson cottage and it is their tradition to stop in picturesque (by picturesque there was one road with a shitty strip mall, a big LCBO and a bunch of fast food joints) Lindsay, Ontario to get some delicious Arby's.  On this trip I had their Beef Dip and it was fantastic.

There was a whole perfect storm of reasons why this meal was so good, first there was excitement and happiness anticipating a weekend of cottage life, second I was fucking STARVING... aaaaaand there may have been a little bit of an outside performance enhancing influence that kick started my taste buds.  I am a big fan of beef dips, I will often order them when I am at a pub, and this beef dip was just as good as any I have had in a normal restaurant.  The sandwich was delicious, it was on nice bread, the roast beef was good, you can't go wrong with Swiss Cheese (processed or not, who gives a fuck), but the real kicker was the "Horsey" sauce, which was basically horseradish mayonnaise.  My Mom can't eat a roast beef dinner without a bit of horseradish and many others do the same, I find that practice appalling, but the horseradish mayonnaise on this beef dip really kicked up the sandwich a notch, making it even better than what it is.  Plus Arby's has seasoned curlies... who doesn't like seasoned curlies??  If you haven't thought of Arby's for a lunch choice, you should think again.  I would definitely recommend the beef deep, at about $10 after tax for a combo it's not too bad, way cheaper then what you'd pay at a normal restaurant for essentially the same thing.  Pretty much anything on the Arby's menu is worth it!

Up next for my food reviews is Memphis Fire BBQ.  I had it last night and it was unbelievably good.  Look for that blog in the next couple of days! 

Big Brother 16 Week 6 Thoughts

Well it took 6 fucking weeks but there was finally some gameplay in the Big Brother house.  Double Eviction nights are always one of the highlights of the Big Brother season and last night certainly did not disappoint.  First the Holy Roller Jocasta got the boot, it was a bit of a shocking turn of events as I was convinced that lunatic Zach was gone, but the majority flipped and sent Jocasta and her stupid bowties out the door.  I have been a little hard on Mama J in these posts, but I started to slightly warm up to her the last few episodes, her sassy diary rooms were kind of funny... who was she phoning anyways, Jesus??

After that piece of shit Caleb miraculously won HOH, he put up Hayden and my boy Donny, and after an epic Veto victory by Donny, Hayden left the house... above is stock footage of Hayden surfing.  I liked Hayden, he was pretty laid back and chill but ultimately he wasn't on the side of the house with the numbers and he is done.  Nicole seemed pretty upset about it at the end of last nights episode, and both of them called out Frankie and Christine in front of the house.  It'll be interesting to see on Sunday what they actually said. As we learned last night the game is not over for the jury members...

Fuck this noise, fire this stupid twist into the sun and never have it return. I can't believe they are going to have an evicted houseguest return to the game.  It is the worst twist of them all, once you are out of the game that should be it!  I am not sure if it's just people in the jury house that are going to come back or what.  Joey, Devin, and Brittany have all been active on Twitter since their eviction so it won't be them for sure, but to my knowledge Amber has not been on Twitter so she may still be in isolation... maybe she has a chance to come back too??  If Amber does return to the house she better have a restraining order against Caleb and his stupid over-alls.  Regardless it is just a waste of time.

Speaking of stupid twists, unfortunately Team America is still a thing, and they went back to the dual HOH with a Battle of the Block ughhhh.... spoilers at the end of the post.

Other Random Thoughts:

Christine is annoying, ugly too but mostly annoying. I really just wanted to post that picture of her looking like a screeching eagle.

Nicole looks way better with out those big Steve Urkel glasses on, but I have to say her voice is really starting to grind my gears, it is getting torturous listening to her for more than 10 seconds at a time.

I don't think I have flip-flopped between liking and hating a houseguest more than Zach.  He's a fucking headcase for sure, but he does make me laugh.  Quit screaming in the god damned diary room though, why do houseguests do this??  He is like Teflon this season, no matter all the shit he starts and the ridiculous verbal diarrhea that spews from his mouth, he still comes out clean at the end of the day.

Frankie is getting really fucking annoying.  Just enough already with the stupid voices and characters, I heard it is 1000 times worse on the live feeds too.  He's been in the middle of a lot of shit this season and I think people are going to turn on him sooner rather than later.

Donny winning the Veto made me stand up and applaud, I loved how he played it cool during the competition, while Zach and Caleb were flailing around like they were having seizures.  That being said I don't think he is long for this game at this point, he has no real alliance (out of the 17 fucking alliances in the house) and he doesn't seem to have any real strategy.

Speaking of alliances can we give it a rest on the stupid names?? Each one is worse than the last one.  The Brigade will always be the best Br-Br-Br-BRI-GADE!

Christine and Nicole are the  2 HOH's.... and they are targeting Frankie!! The plan as of now is to back door him, I think Frankie knows a thing or two about back dooring (so does Zach.... not that there is anything wrong with that!)  But if Frankie is ultimately the one who leaves I can see him being the one who gets back into the house uuuughhhhhhh, I will shit bricks if that happens.

Big Brother 16 Week 5 Thoughts

Well on the bright side Amber doesn't have to worry about Caleb cutting off her skin and wearing it around the house now.  I feel bad that Amber was evicted (in yet another unanimous vote, surprise surprise) because that psychopath Caleb completely derailed her game.  Amber tried to get an all-girls alliance going, but she was too little too late with that.  She should have listened to that Milhouse-haired whacko Joey in week 1 when she wanted to form an all girls alliance, instead of ignoring her, and sticking with that Ninja Turtle Devin and his ridiculous Bomb Squad.  Had they done that the game would be totally different now.  I am betting that Caleb is going to have the same VaGinaMarie/Nick-esque melt down over the next few weeks, wearing all her stuff, keep bringing her up non-stop.... if he starts calling the rest of the houseguests cock-a-roaches then that will be really weird.  By the way, why did he shave his arms before his "date" with Amber? 

I'd be remiss this week if I didn't talk about the "Zach Attack" I have mixed feelings on him.  Sometimes I think he is a complete troll and an arsehole, but on the other hand he has been the one entertaining person in the middle of some pretty dull houseguests... he's 100% gay though, I'm sorry bud just come out and admit it and you'll feel better (not that there is anything around with that!) The "Fruit Loop Dingus" comment was hilarious, and so was comparing Christine to Jenn City (aka Jenn Shitty) as being a Big Brother Floater.  His speech to Amber on the other hand was terrible, mainly because it enabled Caleb's downright creepiness, like I said before, Amber deserved a better fate and it's pretty much 100% Zach's doing that she is gone this week.  But despite his best efforts there was no big argument in the house, so shitty Team America (fuck yeah!) doesn't get $5K.

Can we please end this Team America charade once and for all, it was a terrible idea to start and it's been terrible all season.  Good for Donny for putting the kibosh on the latest stupid challenge they had, why would he purposely alter his own game for the stupid challenge, it's such an unnecessary part of this season and they should kill it right away.

Other Random Thoughts:

HOH spoilers are at the end of this.

I never want to hear the expression "Beast Mode Cowboy" again in my life, just typing it gives me the douche-chills.

Derrick and Cody have emerged as "The Hitmen" and I think they will be final 2, and like I already predicted I think Derrick is going to win it all.  But please, Derrick why do you insist on wearing those fucking Steve Urkel glasses with no lenses, it's such a terrible look, production needs to take them away ASAP.

Vicboria was useless again this week, but what is with her catty comments during her eviction votes? She must know that it's the only air time she gets.  Nice try CBS trying to make a Vicboria-Hayden-Nicole love triangle happen because it isn't going too!

There was rumours on the Twitter that they are going to go back to just having 1 HOH...thank fuck for that.  The double HOH was an interesting idea at first, but every week they have worked together and it hasn't produced any of the drama they were hoping it would.  I am guessing during the double eviction it will go back to normal and there will not be a "battle of the block".

They pulled a Big Brother Canada and had a non-endurance HOH turn into a cliff-hanger... it was stupid on BBCAN and it is stupid now.  Anyways Donny and Nicole are the HOH's!! Woo-hoo!  I hope this does shift the balance of power in the house, while I want to see Caleb gone, I would also like things to get shaken up a bit as it's been predictable as fuck the last few weeks.  I hope something big happens... but I am not counting on it!  Go Donny!!

REVIEW: Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder & Buffalo Chicken Poutine

It's about god damned time McDonald's brought us a new burger option.  Obviously the Big Mac is and always will be king and I will still order it 90% of the time I get McDonald's, but they are too fucking focused on trying to become a yuppie coffee shop with frou frou salads to remember what they're in business for in the first place - delicious greasy and unhealthy burgers.  The Crispy Shrimp Asian Wrap does sound intriguing but I will not be lifting my boycott of McDonald's salads and wraps anytime soon for that.  I was at Union Station in Toronto the other night after a Jays game and saw the Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder (Jesus what a mouthful that is, say that 5 times fast) and the Buffalo Chicken Poutine being advertised in the McDonald's there.  I had just eaten a big meal and it was late at night so I had no desire to try it then, so I sauntered down to shitty Jackson Square today to give both of them a try.

Before I get into the review, the McDonald's at Jackson Square here in Hamilton has started the irritating practice of having to give your first name in order for them to call it out when your meal is ready.  That may not matter to 99% of you, but when your name is Didymus it is kind of annoying having to always repeat yourself... even when I just say Did.  This inevitably leads to having to spell out your name, then usually some smart alec remark... people with different names know what I am talking about! I am sure there is a fucking Buzzfeed list about it.  Don't get me wrong I like my unique name but sometimes it's a pain in the ass - so I usually just say my name is Gary Porter or Doug Swan or Barry Lewis. 

First up is the burger.  It was alright, not the best I have had.  I remember having this burger in London a couple of years ago and it was way better than the one I had today.  The Smokey BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder comes with cheese, bacon, lettuce, tomato, crispy onions and smokey BBQ sauce.  They have phased out the Third Pounders, and I think it is because sometimes the patties come out dryer than a popcorn fart, and today that was the case.  If you look closely at the top bun that's almost a third of the burger without any sauce on it, and that was very disappointing.  Here's a closer look at the complete lack of sauce:

The sauce was very good, and when I had this burger a couple of years ago, they went to town with the sauce, and I needed a shower after eating it to clean myself off.  If they weren't such cheap arseholes about the sauce it would have offset the dryness of the patty and made it 100 times better.  The burger was cold too, and no it wasn't because I spent 20 minutes snapping pictures of it, it was pretty cold right off the jump.  I would be willing to try it again because a fresh patty and more sauce would have improved the overall quality considerably.

Next up we have the Buffalo Chicken Poutine.  I am a huge chicken wing fan, and the buffalo style hot sauce on this was amongst the best that I have had, if you put this sauce on normal chicken wings you'd have yourself a winner there.  It was surprisingly spicy, usually "spicy" stuff from fast food joints lacks any punch.  They ask you if you want crispy or grilled chicken with it, of course I am going to get crispy, get the fuck out of here with that grilled nonsense.  You get a big portion with a decent amount of cheese curds in it.  Things get a little weird though because the first layer is buffalo chicken, but then the second layer is regular poutine with normal "gravy"  So that was kind of bizarre, the flavours didn't really mix too much, and I don't think the gravy was necessary.  When you go to New York Fries for Butter Chicken Poutine or Pulled Pork Poutine they rightly don't put any gravy on it, McDonald's should have avoided putting their "gravy" on this.  I would consider ordering this again, but it is a little pricey, the burger, poutine and pop set me back a whopping $12, which was a little steep for McDonald's, plus you really can't beat regular fries at McDonald's why lump a bunch of extra shit on top of it??

BONUS REVIEW!
Holy fuck the Tim Horton's Oreo Donut is a masterpiece.  I couldn't believe how good this donut was, it was a chocolate donut with Oreo icing and crumbled Oreos on top.  The kicker though was the white cream in the middle....OK get your white cream jokes out of the way you perverts.... but seriously whatever that goop was in the middle that tasted like Oreo frosting was amazing and I want a tub of it to spread it on toast or just eat the fucking thing with a spoon.  The sad thing is I had this donut a week ago, but when I went back today they were all out.  I was too heartbroken and upset to get another flavour and I walked out with my head hung low.  I need to have another one of these ASAP.  It's more expensive than a normal donut at $1.49 but it's worth every penny.

Big Brother 16 Week 4 Thoughts

Zzzzzzzzzzzz.... I am enjoying this season but the evictions are becoming a little too predictable the last couple of weeks.  Brittany was the latest casualty, and I won't miss her, she had a bad attitude plus she committed the cardinal sin of Big Brother saying that she did not want to be there and wanted to go home.  I hate when people say that, thousands of people apply to be on the show and would switch places in a second with you.  I do give her props for doing that 2400 goals in 24 hour punishment, that was probably one of the toughest things I have seen anyone do on the show. At least she gets to go home and see her kids... two of which appear to be The Real Slim Shady.

I think Cody kicked himself in the ass in more ways than one this week.  I can't believe he went the safe route and decided to put up Donny over that lunatic Caleb, ESPECIALLY after he told Donny that he was safe.  Obviously there was no chance of Donny going home, but it would still be unsettling to go on the block.  It was Cody's HOH and if he wanted Caleb to go he should've gone, Derrick and Frankie insisted it was the right game move, but I disagree with them.  Brittany is expendible, she could've left whenever, and Cody had the votes to get rid of Caleb this week and he should have.

Caleb belongs in the Looney Bin. He is so fucking spun. That is evident enough to us who just watch the show and not the feeds, with him sneaking around trying to catch Amber talking to any other guy saying he is "Stealth Mode Cowboy"?? According to the live feeders he is taking Amber's dresses and smelling them and wrapping them around his head and whatnot.  He also tried to trade the $5K he won with Zach's trip to Germany so he can take Amber with him... the producers thankfully didn't allow the swap.  I really wish he was voted out this week (last week too!) at this point his obsession with Amber is not funny and I honestly think the producers need to intervene.  Plus he really is a dumbo of all dumbos as Donny said, he really thinks the Bomb Squad are still an alliance??

Frankie and Zach are our HOH's this week.  I wonder if they are finally going to make out?? Not that there is anything wrong with that!!  I have to think that Caleb will be the target this week... at least I am hoping.  But I can see them going the back door route like they did with Devin.  The usual suspects will go on the block in the meantime...Donny, Jacosta, Victoria... maybe Amber? Nicole or Hayden??  Anyways the Detonators are obviously steam rolling this season, I really hope they start to turn on each other soon as it is getting a little bit dull. 

Other Random Thoughts

The part with Frankies Grandfather was pretty touching, apparently he was very old and sick with cancer and it was just a matter of time, which made his decision to stay in the house a little easier, I am sure he was able to say his good-bye before he went to go on the show.  It was a nice moment when everyone in the house could put the game and any differences they had aside to help Frankie mourn his loss.

1, 2 Christine's coming for you.  Seriously she does look like Freddie Kreuger.  That being said I think she is in a pretty good position and she will sneak on through late into the show.  She is in with the Detonators, plus she is tight with Nicole and Hayden, and she hasn't got any blood on her hands so far, and like she has admitted has stumbled ass backwards into it all.

What in the name of fuck was Jocasta doing at the end of the Battle of the Block competition??  That was seriously one of the weirdest things I have seen in my entire life.  She seems like a nice enough person but this over the top Christianity really grinds my gears.  I think the producers told her to knock it off with the shout outs during her vote because for once she didn't give a shout out to everyone she knows before she cast her vote.

Victoria was once again useless this week.  Yeah she won the veto, but those competitions are all about luck, not any skill.  I really didn't understand the whole bed thing with her though?? Why did no one want to share a bed with her?  I know if I ever go on Big Brother no one would want to share a bed with me, because I snore...I snore VERY loudly apparently.  Plus I get the jimmy legs so someone would get kicked out of bed.

Nicoles little cousins saying Hayden wants to "make sex" with her was pretty hilarious... hopefully this budding relationship doesn't come as insufferable as every other Big Brother showmance (by the way I hate that term so fucking much!)

I get live feed updates on my Twitter feed and a few days ago  they got alcohol delivery... they got a whopping 16 beers and 2 bottles of wine!  For 13 people! What a bunch of cheap arseholes! They couldn't even spring for a whole 2-4.  I hate to tell tales out of school but I can knock back a beer or two with the best of them, those 16 beers would've been enough for me for a night...I'd give a couple to Donny though!

Big Brother 16 Week 3 Thoughts

Sorry I didn't get this up last night, the Wifi in my house is acting all fucky as of late, anyways, last week I predicted that Devin was going to end up sticking around for a bit.... well I was dead wrong on that one!  Get used to it folks, I am always wrong.  Devin was a terrible Big Brother player for sure, but I don't think he is a bad person or anything.  The problem is when ultra-competitive alpha males get in the house they play too hard too fast, they end up getting an early HOH and let the power COMPLETELY go to their head, it seems to happen every single season of Big Brother... remember that arsehole Jeremy from BB15?? It was the exact same thing.  They really teased having Caleb be the one evicted over Devin last night, and I was really rooting for that to happen because Caleb is a fucking creep show.

Caleb is the worst, he gives me major league douche chills.  At this point I am surprised the producers of the show are allowing him to be within 10 feet of Amber.  Bud, she's not into you get over it.  It was funny when Cody was massaging her shoulders and they showed psycho hose beast giving them the stink eye from the other room and they played the psycho music.  I don't know why he thinks just because he retardedly put himself on the block "for her" that she was going to rip off her clothes and jump his bones immediately... plus the whole thing with the blankets? If I were Amber I wouldn't want to sleep in the same room as him, in fact I wouldn't be surprised if she is missing a few pairs of underwear.  Plus "beast mode cowboy" do up your god damned shirt when someone like Julie Chen is talking to you, show some fucking respect.  I thought VaGinaMarie's obsession with Nick (you's a buncha cock-a-roaches!!) was bad but this is a million times worse.

Other Random Thoughts:

I have spoilers at the end of this.... don't read on if you don't want to know what happened!

As much of a d-bag Jeff Schroeder is, the segment with Donny's family was good, his girlfriend isn't that bad looking either!  I honestly don't get why people think he is something he isn't, the same thing happened with Judd last season when the simple southern guy was some perceived genius, Donny wears a Harvard t-shirt so he MUST be a Doctor?  Ol' Donny has proved himself to be a worthy competitor with #OldManBeatDown, but unfortunately if he keeps winning competitions it is going to put a target his back and he could be sent packing....which would suck because Donny is the best.

Jacosta really annoys me, the puking and the sobbing this week were too much.  Plus they put one of her shitty bowties on the chair when she was too sick to compete in the veto? Ugh I don't know how many of you noticed that but that almost made ME barf.....my all time favourite houseguest Enzo aka the Meow Meow from BB12 had the best line on twitter...

Hayden is quickly becoming one of my favourites this season.  His flirting with Nicole is funny and cute, not psychotic and creepy like Caleb.  Plus he had the line of the night last night when Victoria walked by and they were all yelling at her and he goes "No seriously, what's your name??" It's easy to forget that Vic-Bore-ia is on the show!

Buzzfeed has a fucking list for everything in the god damned world, and of course there is now one for Big Brother fans.... I can definitely identify with a lot on this list.  Check it out here:

http://www.buzzfeed.com/jarettwieselman/61-signs-youre-obsessed-with-big-brother

The team of Cody and Frankie won HOH.  As of this morning the potential nominees are Amber/Jacosta and Vicboria/Brittany.  As part of the STUPID Team America twist they have to target a "strong physical competitor" apparently they have deemed Amber to be that.  I hope they don't give them the $5K for that, how on Earth is she a physical contender?  Anyways as it stands now I can see either Jacosta or Vicboria going home, and I wouldn't miss either of them!

Big Brother 16 Week 2 Thoughts

Well what a fucked up week that was.  At this point last year we were all shocked by the horrible racist/homophobic/misogynist comments by some of the BB15 houseguests, this year we are just shocked about how bat shit crazy Devin is.  More on that nut bar in a bit...  Anyways, that firecracker Pow Pow is second one evicted from the Big Brother house, I can't say that I will miss her, for whatever reason she thought she was all that and a bag of chips.  What in God's name was she doing at the Veto meeting?? I honestly she thought she was having a stroke but she kept doing some kind of fashion pose.  She'll soon be forgotten...but, since when was she best friends with Donny?? I don't watch the feeds (I just read spoilers!) so I must've missed that whole friendship bloom, I don't want to see my boy Donny upset, I am sure he'll get over it soon.

Devin certainly has got his cables cut.  Honestly in all my years of watching this show I don't think I have seen anyone play such a sloppy, terrible game that Devin has.  The waters don't run deep with that fella.  I just trashed Pow-Pow but she had the best line saying "You have 5 personalities and they all suck."  He had the worst case of HOHitis in the history of the game, honestly some people can't handle any sort of power and they let it go straight to their head which Devin clearly did.  He was a bully, he pushed people around thinking he was some sort of evil puppet master, when all he has done is piss off everyone in the house (including his ever-expanding stupid alliance) putting the target squarely on his back.  I would have to say the Bomb Squad is the worst alliance in Big Brother History, right up there with the Moving Company from BB15 and The Regulators from BB13.  It wasn't so much an alliance as Devin having god forsaken meetings and people nodding at him not wanting to set him off.  Those meetings were so fucking awkward, and I actually thought they threw Zach under the bus when he was the only one that spoke up against him when they were all bashing Devin before the meeting.  It doesn't come across on the show as badly but people who watch the live feeds say that he CONSTANTLY brings up his daughter to the point that #devinhasadaughter is a thing on Twitter.  Obviously the Bomb Squad has exploded and they are no longer a thing, and Devin has no one to blame but himself.  He made the alliance and he destroyed it. The more I think about it the more I think Devin is going to be safe for a while, Big Brother USA is notorious for helping out the lunatics who people "love to hate" by keeping them on the show, and making them the entire focus of the show (seriously the Wednesday episode was 90% Devin)  Think Amanda last year, and friggin Rachel Reilly for two seasons.  Somehow Devin is going to manage to slip through the cracks for another couple of weeks.

Derrick and Nicole are the two HOHs this week, and I am pretty happy with that.  Nicole is hilarious and I like her alliance with Hayden and Christine.  I like Derrick as well, he is a really smart player, and knows the show very well.  I am going to make my prediction now - he will win this season.  As for what they are going to do this week, I think Devin is the obvious target, but I think it would be a mistake for either of them to put him on the block right away, because he could well win the Battle of the Block and pull himself off.  If they were smart (which I think they are) whoever lasts through the Battle of the Block will back-door him at Veto.  As for the first four they are going to put up... that's tough to pick if they were going to target Devin and Caleb you could put them on competing teams for the Battle of the Block, but then you risk either one of them getting veto sending that whole plan to shit.  There is a lot of dead weight in the cast this year, so I could see some randos like Jacosta or Victoria going up.

Other Random Thoughts:

I can't be the only one who thinks the Zach/Frankie thing is a little odd... He says he isn't gay but likes to cuddle with gay men.  OK.  Not that there is anything wrong with that! If that's what makes them happy then who am I to say anything?  It isn't the only male on male cuddle-mance this season, Caleb was feeling a little lonesome and wanted someone to cuddle, and Devin stepped right up to the plate! Frankie and Zach had their little lovers quarrel after the POV fight but I think they'll work it out, but Zach is a bit of a hot head and I can see his big mouth getting him in trouble, it almost got him evicted this week! 

That POV fight was alright, but I have definitely seen better.  It did make Devin the target which I think is what Zach intended on.

The Team America thing is as stupid as I predicted, I honestly hope they don't make this a bigger part of the show than it is.  Obviously Frankie's sister Ariana Grande and her 16 million Twitter followers got him on Team America, I am kind of surprised Derrick made it....Donny obviously is going to win anything the audience votes on.  He already has the $25K cheque for being America's favourite player wrapped up at the end of the season.

Caleb reminds me of this dishwasher I worked with when I worked at the Delta Hotel a few years back.  They both have the same vacant stare, and kind of look a like.  If Caleb has a Palasad Bowling Alley tattoo then that would be the weirdest coincidence ever. (enough with the jokes that maybe 2 people reading this blog will understand!)  What's with those glasses with no lenses?  As a glasses wearer I am offended by that.  He is a major creeper too... I am sure Amber is going to have to get a restraining order on him when they get off the show.  I actually like him less than Devin, and least Devin is good for shits 'n giggles.

Is Victoria or Jacosta on this show?  It seems like Victoria saying "I vote to evict Pow Pow" was the second thing she has said all season, and the first being "I vote to evict Joey."  I am kind of glad Jacosta hasn't had much to say this season as every second word out of her mouth would be either God, Jesus or bowties.

As for a prediction... I am going to go off the map and say Brittany is gone, she isn't really close with either Nicole or Derrick (or anyone else for that matter), she had that little breakdown at the POV ceremony, and like I said the BB Producers will figure out someway to keep Devin in this. 

Big Brother 16 Week 1 Thoughts

Joey and her insane alter ego 'Alex' are the first casualty of Big Brother 16.  Meh.  Good riddance, she didn't really bring much to the table, and in three weeks we'll all be like "remember when that Milhouse-haired weirdo went around pretending she was a dude?"  It must suck being the first evicted from Big Brother, especially by a 13-0 margin but someone has to be the first... at least she had a week unlike Jodi from BB14 who was given the boot on the very first day! So much for her being on "Team America" it is like how Annie was the "saboteur" on BB12 but she got voted off first.  It was weird how Big Brother portrayed her as "The LIBERAL" like it was something outrageous.... Americans are fucked.

Devin aka the lost 5th member of the Ninja Turtles is fucking whack-a-doodle, and now after video review he is HOH?  Good Lord I am not sure what this paranoid lunatic is going to do.  Joey played a pretty awful game of Big Brother but Devin calling her the worst player in Big Brother history is pretty fresh.  Seriously this guy sucks, first at 4:30 in the morning he unilaterally decides to expose his whack alliance to Christine and Amber inviting them in thinking that they need more members, and second he thinks Donny is some secret genius!!  Donny told his corny "pasta-tute" joke to a group and based on that Devin thought he was a fucking professional comedian!?!?!  Also Donny's "tall drink of water socks" made him stop growing hair on his legs and him and Caleb took that to mean he was a some GI Joe Secret Ops Navy Seal....if you want to know who killed Osama Bin Laden it was fucking Donny.  I love how Big Brother played the dodo derp derp music when those two neanderthals were 'thinking' through their theories on Donny.  Anyways Devin is nuttier than squirrel shit, and even though he won HOH, so did Amber and with the twist that doesn't mean anything.  I hope the other people in the whack Bomb Squad realize what a paranoid loose cannon he is, and he could well be shown the door this week despite winning HOH....especially if being HOH goes to his head like I predict it will.

I fucking love Donny.  How could you not?  Like I said last week I first saw his picture and thought he'd be some crack-pot Duck Dynasty piece of shit but he could not be farther away from those assholes.  Every word that comes out of his mouth is hilarious... bust a bean, the pasta-tute joke, saying that he is wearing tall drink of water socks.  I didn't go out of my way to read spoilers this week but I was still spoiled (Thanks BBCAN2 Jon Pardy on Twitter!!) so I knew what was coming, but I still stood up and applauded when he won the Veto.  The shitty thing he has put so much of his trust into Devin, and I can see Leonardo turning around and stabbing him in the back which will make Donny will cry, and I will cry too.  I really hope he lasts well into the summer but I have a terrible feeling he won't.  He's in "Team America" obviously because everyone else loves him, I hope that doesn't fuck up his game either.  The more I think of it the more I think this stupid Team America twist isn't going to do anything.

Other Random Thoughts:

So the whole Caleb/Amber thing got about 5 minutes of air time tonight, but according to people watching the feeds it was 10000 times more awkward in real time than what they showed tonight, and apparently he has some sort of fatal attraction to Amber and she is not having that.  Caleb certainly gives me the douche chills.  It'll be interesting to see what she does as one of the HOH's. I know she was thrown into the whole stupid Bomb Squad by Devin but I doubt she is very loyal to it, and she certainly doesn't want anything to do with Caleb.

The Bomb Squad sucks, it's really just Caleb and Devin being lunatics and the rest of them just going along with what they say for now waiting for a perfect time to cut loose.  Derrick despite his lack of air time is a smart player and I think has realized this, same goes for Christine, Cody and Amber.  If they knew what was best for them they'd ditch those arseholes ASAP.

I love Nicole and Christine aka Nicotine, their fear of ghosts, the chest bump they did after they voted tonight.  I think they will be sticking around for a bit, and will provide a lot of much needed entertainment this season.

I really don't like the new opening, depsite that amazing Donny screencap seen above.  Just stick with the old one for christs sake!

I don't know why and I don't have a reason yet but Victoria bugs me.

Pao-Pao sucks.  She is brutal in competitions and doesn't offer anything to the show, if Joey wasn't so bat shit crazy she'd be the one first evicted.

As for a prediction for this week it's pretty hard for me to put a finger on it, with the double HOH, the Battle of the Block, Veto etc.  I would honestly like to see either Caleb or Devin go, but I doubt that will happen, it'll probably be someone random and forgettable like Pao-Pao or Brittany....I just hope it is not Donny!